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Sounds like you've been giving second upon second chances for at least five years. How's that working out for you? This person is telling you that he/she is an eagle and when you say "okay, spread your wings and fly," this person can't. Instead this person disregards you and the relationship. Know why? Because worms can't sprout wings, regardless of how much they claim they are eagles. So, aim high and ditch the worm. Fly with the eagles already!
This is right on target. You were treated badly for FIVE YEARS, why would this person change for you now? Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior, do you really think everything is going to change now? Most people act pretty consistently.
I think it's time to give yourself the chance, and move on alone.
If you've been generous with "second" chances that haven't panned out, explain it that way. If there's anything left to save, (doubtful but possible), offer to revisit the issue in a few years. Providing of course, that he has permanently pulled his head out of his coolie & that you are available and still have any desire left for him.
Depending on your age & circumstances, a lengthy time apart could bring you back together one day. If not, then at least no more of your life was lost to a one-sided relationship.
If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)
When is enough, enough?
If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?
Five years is enough. Wish them the best, save yourself and walk away. Especially if they have had many chances. This person sounds like in 5 years has learned what to do to get another chance. This relationship is at the point when love is not enough. It doesn't sound like recipirocal love anyway.
If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)
When is enough, enough?
If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?
If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)
When is enough, enough?
If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?
Second chance???
I would say that the five years given was second chance enough.
I mean, at what point do you turn around and decide that you are going to be in control of your life and your happiness?
Five years...that's a long time to not be given that second chance already.
This sounds like you are having a hard time moving on and you need to.
If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)
When is enough, enough?
If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?
What??! NO way.....there's a huge difference between making a quick mistake and making a 5 year mistake.......there are wayyyyy too many good guys/girls out there to sit around waiting for somone to shape up......
If you had been in a long term relationship with someone who had spent a good part of the last, say 5 years, really disregarding the relationship, being selfish, dishonest, etc. - would you give them another chance, if they really seemed sincere? (Even if they had many chances previously?)
When is enough, enough?
If they are making changes, do you try again, or do you wish them well, and say "I hope you can keep up improvements for your own sake" and get on with your life? At what point do you separate yourself permanently from a committed relationship, when you still care for the person, especially (or not) if there are children involved? Do you get to a point where love is not enough to keep it going?
The one word that stuck out in your post was....dishonesty. Right there, the deal is broken for me.
Really, I have to ask why you still have feelings for this person? I guess I'd want to know more specifically what hasn't been occurring or what the root problem is? (Drugs, no job etc?)
It sounds like you have had enough and perhaps deserve better. I would ask yourself why you haven't done something sooner? Do you really love them, or are afraid to be by yourself or tried to convince yourself of love for the kids sake etc?
Best of luck.
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