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I am divorced after the first debacle which was a mutual failure , I decided that no matter what i will not make a mistake in chosing my partner.
so here I am looking for that perfect person and guess what I am so freaking unhappy because all I ask of my dates is "what if she isn't the right one" ? Is that normal?
That isn't the reason for the post though the actual reason is given below:
The person I am dating now I have been going out with her for close to a year and I have no answers about how I feel about to her to move forward and not feel selfish (set her free/breakup earlier than later) while I try and figure this out.
Here is my analysis (you never though you would hear that term used with relationships but here it is)
She is loving, sweet, beautiful, kind, sociable, clean, faithful, has good commuincation in general but not in english(communication is more than use of a language), sporty, a good cook, good with kids.
Now the flip side: Heavy around the bottoms, poor english communication, not inclined to read, not curious to know more about things, not environmentally aware (does silly things and doesn't use common sense), loves stating the obvious, slow in understanding things like jokes and a little boring at times.
Given the above I am trying to do the balancing act.
Yes, I guess the question to ask which is probably very important is do I love her? I wish the answer was as simple as the question. I DON'T KNOW.
Anyone been in my shoes? Any advice which worked for you? It is keeping me more preoccupied than I want to be . Please help!!
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I hate to sound like a broken record but it's all in your 'instincts'. Your 'intuition'...hunches...your innver voice...God speaking to you...whatever you want to call it, we all have it, we just need to listen to it. Right now you're just fighting it. Trust it and just as importantly, act on it. We could all save ourselves a lot of trouble if we'd learn to recognize and use this ability. If you don't know if you trust yours, practice with it. Use it on small things first, you'll see. It won't steer you wrong. Good luck to you.
If your answer to "do I love her?" is "I don't know." then you don't love her. You may like her or enjoy having sex with her or whatever but if you really loved her you would know. So... do her and yourself a big favor and move on. Nothing worse then being married to someone you don't have a "passion"for!
She is loving, sweet, beautiful, kind, sociable, clean, faithful, has good commuincation in general but not in english(communication is more than use of a language), sporty, a good cook, good with kids.
Now the flip side: Heavy around the bottoms, poor english communication, not inclined to read, not curious to know more about things, not environmentally aware (does silly things and doesn't use common sense), loves stating the obvious, slow in understanding things like jokes and a little boring at times.
Your positives are kind of vague, but your negatives are pretty specific. It seems like you're trying to talk yourself into liking this woman more than you do.
Here I am an old gal who is looking at 25 years of marriage straight in the face and if I had any "wisdom" to impart it would be one thing. A man sees himself reflected in his spouse. If the reflection is not of his liking he will not be satisfied. How do you feel about yourself when you look at her? Do you feel uplifted, encouraged, optimistic? Something to think about
I would be inclined to agree with WestCobb and think that you are talking yourself into liking this woman. I also agree with stan4 after reading your negatives. It does not sound like this is the woman for you.
I am divorced after the first debacle which was a mutual failure , I decided that no matter what i will not make a mistake in chosing my partner.
so here I am looking for that perfect person and guess what I am so freaking unhappy because all I ask of my dates is "what if she isn't the right one" ? Is that normal?
That isn't the reason for the post though the actual reason is given below:
The person I am dating now I have been going out with her for close to a year and I have no answers about how I feel about to her to move forward and not feel selfish (set her free/breakup earlier than later) while I try and figure this out.
Here is my analysis (you never though you would hear that term used with relationships but here it is)
She is loving, sweet, beautiful, kind, sociable, clean, faithful, has good commuincation in general but not in english(communication is more than use of a language), sporty, a good cook, good with kids.
Now the flip side: Heavy around the bottoms, poor english communication, not inclined to read, not curious to know more about things, not environmentally aware (does silly things and doesn't use common sense), loves stating the obvious, slow in understanding things like jokes and a little boring at times.
Given the above I am trying to do the balancing act.
Yes, I guess the question to ask which is probably very important is do I love her? I wish the answer was as simple as the question. I DON'T KNOW.
Anyone been in my shoes? Any advice which worked for you? It is keeping me more preoccupied than I want to be . Please help!!
How often do you see her? Do you enjoy your time together?
The sure-fire test is imagine that she breaks up with you tomorrow. How would you feel?
There is no such thing as the perfect woman....my wife had several negatives I could have listed but in general it worked quite well, we both had flaws. I like certain things that she hated and vice-versa...so she would go see movies I didn't want to see with her girlfriends etc. I would go see my friends and do stuff with them she didn't enjoy.
I don't know what to say, perhaps the answer is that you don't have one at this time?
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, I decided that no matter what i will not make a mistake in chosing my partner. 
but here it is)
A mirror unto your own soul
