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What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
Good point. Another aspect of this is to have some idea whether this will happen before you commit.
Too often, women confuse what they "want" with what they "expect". TV has brainwashed far too many to equate men who meet their superficial needs (what they want) with men who will later meet their expectations. This is seldom the case.
Determining this takes time and effort and is not always easy. Unfortunately most men are washed out early for their inadequacies in the superficial arena. After that, hormones often take over and major warning signs are overlooked.
What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
Love means to me that he does things for me that will make me happy and I don't even have to ask him. Things he knows will bring a smile to my face. Going out of his way just because he wants to because he loves me and not me having to ask him to do it for me. Like him going out to buy me something on his own because it's my birthday and he wants to make me happy or cooking for me because he wants to and wants to do it for me. Things that just come natural because YOU want to do them and she isn't asking you to do it for her.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
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Originally Posted by mlv289
What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
Not so sure anything needs to be done specifically! you make it sound like a task or job duty / responsibility.
There are natural things that two people share and do when in love but it's nothing you write down on a to-do list or job planner
Some people are intuitive and figure it out on their own. They probably had the benefit of decent role models in the relationship area when they were growing up.
People who didn't have those benefits or worse, had bad role models, are in a world of hurt. It takes a lot of work and effort to reprogram yourself and sometimes these people have to be told. Many times. They have to realize their deficits and want to change.
Common sense will dictate what we should and shouldn't do, but love is shown when you truly want the best for the other. You understand that we are all individuals and you should encourage and support that. And you learn to appreciate the way the other shows love, even if it isn't in line with how you would.
Check the book "Five Love Language" by Chapman. It's one of the easiest book I've read that explains how each person "learns" to express love in a language: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and touch.
What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
...love means just being with the person you love. Nothing more, nothing less. It's a simple thing, to just "be".
But, in my opinion, being in love and being in a relationship are two different things - even though they are both combined. Being in love is easy, being in a relationship with the person you love, now that takes work.
Communication, as you said, understanding, acceptance, compromise, compassion, trust.. and on and on.. all of these things are things that people should naturally do when they are in a relationship.
Check the book "Five Love Language" by Chapman. It's one of the easiest book I've read that explains how each person "learns" to express love in a language: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and touch.
As far as relationship books go, that one has to be the absolute best.. It all makes sense, and he explains things so that everyone gets it.. Great book!
What do you consider things that the other spouse/SO should just "know" or "naturally do" in a relationship? Personally, I think if there is something the other wants, then it should be communicated...one's feeling of this "natural" may be different than others...
With a well-matched couple (as I have observed) this seems to come naturally (a fulfilling of needs).
I have found that having to tell someone my needs endlessly, is exhausting and frustrating! If I ever find myself single, I will not make this type of relationship mistake again.
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