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My friend said I don't take rejection well. It's not that I get livid or lash out at a woman who rejects me, but rather he realizes that I internalize it and dwell on it a lot.
When I'm out I approach quite a bit. Some work some don't. I still think I overthink. Much of what I think my friend said is true. I tend to think something is inherently wrong with ME as to why a woman wasn't into me or I blame it on other factors. Adding insult to injury is knowing my competition at times lol and that frustrates me. With that said I haven't been called creepy, weird, ugly, or anything like that. At worst it will be some stand-offish response or some level of aloofness that occurs that forces me to ignore them also.
Even for me as a man that has sex with women and socially calibrated to deal with them this affects me. I'm an extrovert so there is an inherent risk in putting oneself out there.
Anyway no need to dwell on it but I'm wonder how others here take rejection and how you all deal with it.
Get rejected more so you can practice shaking it off. I know it sounds strange, but I think the more you deal with it, the more you get used to coping with it. When I was job hunting this past year, I was beating myself every time I got a rejection. But the more rejections I got, or didn't get for that matter, it became less cumbersome. I learned to shake them off, and get back on my horse quicker.
Get rejected more so you can practice shaking it off. I know it sounds strange, but I think the more you deal with it, the more you get used to coping with it. When I was job hunting this past year, I was beating myself every time I got a rejection. But the more rejections I got, or didn't get for that matter, it became less cumbersome. I learned to shake them off, and get back on my horse quicker.
There's a sound logic to this, OP. The one caution I would make is to know your limits. If you're someone who takes rejection especially hard, it can be a drain on you emotional resources. So if rejection hits you like a slap in the arm, you can probably push your limits. If it hits you like a punch in the face, you might need to space out your learning experiences.
I’m the same way..rejection makes me feel ugly and unattractive to women.
Thing is I have success. I've had sex last week and went on two dates with different women. Thing is sometimes I dwell on the ones that reject me and take it as though they think they are 'better' than me.
I'm an extrovert by nature so there's always a risk of me putting myself out there and people not receiving well. I think I'm great but some others may think "meh". I do accept being polarizing though.
My friend said I don't take rejection well. It's not that I get livid or lash out at a woman who rejects me, but rather he realizes that I internalize it and dwell on it a lot.
When I'm out I approach quite a bit. Some work some don't. I still think I overthink. Much of what I think my friend said is true. I tend to think something is inherently wrong with ME as to why a woman wasn't into me or I blame it on other factors. Adding insult to injury is knowing my competition at times lol and that frustrates me. With that said I haven't been called creepy, weird, ugly, or anything like that. At worst it will be some stand-offish response or some level of aloofness that occurs that forces me to ignore them also.
Even for me as a man that has sex with women and socially calibrated to deal with them this affects me. I'm an extrovert so there is an inherent risk in putting oneself out there.
Anyway no need to dwell on it but I'm wonder how others here take rejection and how you all deal with it.
It's hard not to take it personal. What helped me was taking on the perspective that you're not going to be compatible with most people and that's okay. Some people are attracted to smart people, some people are attracted to looks, some people like tall partners, some like short. It's just personal preference and that's okay. My goal is to have a good conversation and if the opportunity is there to convert it to a date, wonderful but even if it goes well, she may still say no.
Some guys have a tendency to view dating or attempting to date as a game of conquering. It helped me not to view it that way. Just talk to someone to see if you're interested in knowing them better. There are some really cool people that may be considered unattractive and there are some attractive people that are really toxic. It is what it is.
You cannot win if you do not risk. You put yourself out there and expecting 100% success is just unrealistic. Win some, lose some. If you ask 10 women out and get 3 dates, that's already a great result, don't you think?
BTW, I think it is awesome that you try. I am tired of all the whiners here complaining they never get laid - but they do nothing to change that.
Thing is I have success. I've had sex last week and went on two dates with different women. Thing is sometimes I dwell on the ones that reject me and take it as though they think they are 'better' than me.
I'm an extrovert by nature so there's always a risk of me putting myself out there and people not receiving well. I think I'm great but some others may think "meh". I do accept being polarizing though.
The women who reject me simply have bad taste in men. I've got to start dating a better class of women.
SRSLY, it takes practice. The more practice you get the easier it becomes.
"I mean, Jeez Louise! I've been rejected by better women than you!"
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