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Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
589 posts, read 1,635,802 times
Reputation: 331
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
How old are your kids?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but leopards seldom change their spots. I'd expect the same bad behavior you saw in the past.
I have 3 girls. My twins are 8. My twingle is 5.
I know he won't change his spots. However, he loves his kids and I know that deep down he wants to do the right thing. I simply continue to stand my ground on what I know to be best for the children. No backing down.
Also, my dad was very absent. Been there, done that. I know what it's like.
If parents really want to share time with the kids equally, the kids should stay put and the parents switch homes.
I had actually mentioned that earlier as an option as well. Kids stay at home, mom is there with them half the month, dad there half the month.
Quote:
I thought you were in love with your wife. Why would she consider leaving?
I am. I think she is stunning and is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. But folks have their good qualities and bad ones........and let's just say she is also impossible to deal with on a daily basis. As wel, I think her interest in the marriage varies according to how I am doing financially.
One of my friends and her ex got the divorce/custody thing down to a science. Post divorce, mom and dad lived within 1 mile from each other. Kids remained in the same grammar school that they attended prior to the divorce. Each parent had to have a 3 bedroom place since the kids are 1 boy and 1 girl. Kids went onto a rotating calendar- 3 days in a row with mom, 3 days in a row with dad, 3 days with mom and so on. Whichever parent had the children, would be responsible for driving them to school. The kids are now both close to graduating from high school and this arrangement worked out really, really well. They spent equal time with each parent and it was easy for the parents since they lived so close to each other. The divorce did not entail child support since each parent had the children equally, however, their father is responsible for providing their health insurance and paying all education costs. Each parent writes off one child on their income taxes and they make major decisions about the kids, together. And this is not a couple that are friends. They are civil and cordial to each other but not the type of ex's that are still friends. They made this joint custody decision because they felt that each of them (the parents) were important in the kids' lives and that the kids should spend equal amounts of time with each of them. Now that the kids are teens and driving, the mother moved 3 miles further, but her kids drive so their parents being 4 miles apart is no big deal. I wish more parents would consider this option.
One of my friends and her ex got the divorce/custody thing down to a science. Post divorce, mom and dad lived within 1 mile from each other. Kids remained in the same grammar school that they attended prior to the divorce. Each parent had to have a 3 bedroom place since the kids are 1 boy and 1 girl. Kids went onto a rotating calendar- 3 days in a row with mom, 3 days in a row with dad, 3 days with mom and so on. Whichever parent had the children, would be responsible for driving them to school. The kids are now both close to graduating from high school and this arrangement worked out really, really well. They spent equal time with each parent and it was easy for the parents since they lived so close to each other. The divorce did not entail child support since each parent had the children equally, however, their father is responsible for providing their health insurance and paying all education costs. Each parent writes off one child on their income taxes and they make major decisions about the kids, together. And this is not a couple that are friends. They are civil and cordial to each other but not the type of ex's that are still friends. They made this joint custody decision because they felt that each of them (the parents) were important in the kids' lives and that the kids should spend equal amounts of time with each of them. Now that the kids are teens and driving, the mother moved 3 miles further, but her kids drive so their parents being 4 miles apart is no big deal. I wish more parents would consider this option.
It's a great option, but it does involve lots of money and could only be done by a family of significant means........
Ok I know this is old, but seriously, the system was originally meant to help women escape bad relationships and take their kids with them. It was not meant for women to take a crapload of their husbands money just so they could "Stick it to their ex!" I hate women that do that when the case is when the guy doesn't deserve that!!
Since you had your child support rant, I'll add my two-cent's worth:
My husband's ex pretty much demanded he sign away his rights to their child. He had no problem with that, so he signed the papers. His ex won't let him see the kid, anyway, and my husband was glad to be relieved of the responsibility of paying support. (That was the deal after he signed.)So after his ex spends all this money on the best lawyer in town to get him out of her son's life for good, the judge denies her petition, saying it would have to be an adoption situation (like her parents were adopting the kid) for him to grant her request.
You'd have thought her high-priced lawyer would have told her that at the get-go. So now my husband's back where he started and hoping she marries someone who will want to adopt their child. He'll have his pen ready to sign again.
I'm sorry, this is horrible. A man not wanting to be in his childs life becasue of child support, you got a real winner there. Sheesh.
I'm sorry, this is horrible. A man not wanting to be in his childs life becasue of child support, you got a real winner there. Sheesh.
Yeah. My sons ex has tried and tried to get him to sign away his parental rights. Im not sure why because she is alway in contempt and does whatever she wants anyway in regard to the custody and parenting plan. I think its the idea of having total control. He has even spent time in jail because he lost his job and got behind on his child support. Theres no way he will sign off on those kids even if he has to hand over his entire pay check every week or do more jail time if he cant pay.
Because he doesn't feel like dealing with her and her drama, that's why.
He and I have 2 kids together and he spends his time being their daddy, instead of going through the bull**** to see the kid he has with his ex.
I guess what the child thinks isn't important here?
I have met a few men who, for some strange reason, think that child support is a license to make demands and dictate how their exes spend their money. Some men (and women) see their children as dollar signs, not what they actually are, their responsibility.
"I'd rather have custody, let them see what its like to pay child support."
I'd like them to see what it's like to raise a child alone.
"She drives a nice car and lives in a $200,000 with her new husband and she's griping about child support."
I don't care if her husband is Bill Gates. This is your child. If you want someone else to pay your way, let someone else be his/her father.
"That money I give her is paying her car payment. I'm paying her bills."
That money pays for a portion of the rent, food, utilities and all the basics that a parent SHOULD provide for their child. It does not include the day to day lunches, movie tickets, the trips to Sonic, field trips, gifts for birthday parties, that Wii game he wants so badly and all the other little things that add up. If she decides to apply that entire check to her car or her bills, she is making up for it somewhere else.
"I pay child support. I should be able to see my child whenever I want." Or do whatever he/she wants with the child in his presence.
You can see him/her when it is agreed upon or when a judge tells you that you can. If you are doing drugs, drinking excessively, neglecting or mistreating the child - you do not have a right to see him/her at all. And you will STILL pay child support.
How about those who are having their paychecks garnished and brag that they pay child support?
Finally, how about those who brag about paying child support in general? I've wondered how many pats on the back I'd have gotten if I stood at a busy intersection with a sign that said "I fed my son today".
Child support and visitation are 2 seperate issues
Yes lots of men and women say...she makes good money,or her man makes good money...so they think why shouldn't they be paying.
Or you get "that money is supposed to go on the child"? yes it does, it helps pay the childs living expenses..But some like to think your supposed to give it to the child..My sister is an example of this. She'll say :\"he took her money and didn't give it to her"??
Too many men and women use the chidren as pawns, they try and get back or hurt their former spouse so they'll use the children in their games.
Just because you pay child support doesn't mean it automatically gives you rights to visitations. If you want to see your kids...go exercise your rights in court.
I have my paychecks garnished too, I'm the one who told my employer to garnish it from my paycheck....I find it easier to pay child support..I dont brag about it..Now when my son comes to live me this summer for good I wont be paying child support anymore.
One of my friends and her ex got the divorce/custody thing down to a science. Post divorce, mom and dad lived within 1 mile from each other. Kids remained in the same grammar school that they attended prior to the divorce. Each parent had to have a 3 bedroom place since the kids are 1 boy and 1 girl. Kids went onto a rotating calendar- 3 days in a row with mom, 3 days in a row with dad, 3 days with mom and so on. Whichever parent had the children, would be responsible for driving them to school. The kids are now both close to graduating from high school and this arrangement worked out really, really well. They spent equal time with each parent and it was easy for the parents since they lived so close to each other. The divorce did not entail child support since each parent had the children equally, however, their father is responsible for providing their health insurance and paying all education costs. Each parent writes off one child on their income taxes and they make major decisions about the kids, together. And this is not a couple that are friends. They are civil and cordial to each other but not the type of ex's that are still friends. They made this joint custody decision because they felt that each of them (the parents) were important in the kids' lives and that the kids should spend equal amounts of time with each of them. Now that the kids are teens and driving, the mother moved 3 miles further, but her kids drive so their parents being 4 miles apart is no big deal. I wish more parents would consider this option.
If each parent could afford it...then it would work great.
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