Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have met a few men who, for some strange reason, think that child support is a license to make demands and dictate how their exes spend their money. Some men (and women) see their children as dollar signs, not what they actually are, their responsibility.
"I'd rather have custody, let them see what its like to pay child support."
I'd like them to see what it's like to raise a child alone.
"She drives a nice car and lives in a $200,000 with her new husband and she's griping about child support."
I don't care if her husband is Bill Gates. This is your child. If you want someone else to pay your way, let someone else be his/her father.
"That money I give her is paying her car payment. I'm paying her bills."
That money pays for a portion of the rent, food, utilities and all the basics that a parent SHOULD provide for their child. It does not include the day to day lunches, movie tickets, the trips to Sonic, field trips, gifts for birthday parties, that Wii game he wants so badly and all the other little things that add up. If she decides to apply that entire check to her car or her bills, she is making up for it somewhere else.
"I pay child support. I should be able to see my child whenever I want." Or do whatever he/she wants with the child in his presence.
You can see him/her when it is agreed upon or when a judge tells you that you can. If you are doing drugs, drinking excessively, neglecting or mistreating the child - you do not have a right to see him/her at all. And you will STILL pay child support.
How about those who are having their paychecks garnished and brag that they pay child support?
Finally, how about those who brag about paying child support in general? I've wondered how many pats on the back I'd have gotten if I stood at a busy intersection with a sign that said "I fed my son today".
Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
1,113 posts, read 3,493,670 times
Reputation: 1176
Geez. Why don't ya tell us how you REALLY feel?
Since you had your child support rant, I'll add my two-cent's worth:
My husband's ex pretty much demanded he sign away his rights to their child. He had no problem with that, so he signed the papers. His ex won't let him see the kid, anyway, and my husband was glad to be relieved of the responsibility of paying support. (That was the deal after he signed.)So after his ex spends all this money on the best lawyer in town to get him out of her son's life for good, the judge denies her petition, saying it would have to be an adoption situation (like her parents were adopting the kid) for him to grant her request.
You'd have thought her high-priced lawyer would have told her that at the get-go. So now my husband's back where he started and hoping she marries someone who will want to adopt their child. He'll have his pen ready to sign again.
There are some women out there who could care less if their boyfriend or husband don't want kids.
They will poke holes in the condom, stop taking birth control pills, or whatever...just to ensure they have a kid.
If the couple breaks up, should the guy have to pay for a kid that he didn't want all because the woman didn't want to take her birth control, poked holes in the condom, and/or didn't want an abortion or didn't get one in time?
Of course the guy could have gotten a vasectomy to prevent ever impregnating a woman but most pregnancies in this country are unplanned so...
I do agree that if the woman might spend the child support check on the car payment or some of her mortgage payment then she makes up for it somewhere else.
My only problem with child support is if the man didn't want the child in the first place. Why should he have to pay for it?
Just like the guy on the Dr. Phil episode a while back-he didn't know that this girl he slept with was pregnant and she comes on the showing demanding child support. Of course the guy could have prevented the pregnancy by wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy but on the other hand, if the woman knew a child would be a financial burder, why not get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption once it's born?
I am for child support in theory in some cases but in other's, not so much.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman and pay for the kid yourself.
yup the child support system really needs to be overhauled but oh well.
Most people could care less. Guys without children don't care until they are the ones paying it. Women don't care until their boyfriend/husband is the one paying it!
Also there isn't much incentive on the government side to change it either. The attorneys and city makes millions in legal fees and court fees.
Having kids these days is a risky business especially if the relationship goes south. For a female, being a single mom is the worst of the worst. Rarely any men want to get into a serious relationship with a single mom, it is a deal breaker for most men. For the man, he has to pay 25%+ of his paycheck to child support. That is a pretty big drop in standard of living. Also if he doesn't pay he could go to jail and the child support debt can't be bankrupted. Either way, he is screwed big time.
That vasectomy is looking pretty good about now.
Quote:
If the couple breaks up, should the guy have to pay for a kid that he didn't want all because the woman didn't want to take her birth control, poked holes in the condom, and/or didn't want an abortion or didn't get one in time?
yup, most guys are naive about this. The way I look at it is either you want kids or you don't. If you don't want kids then get a vasectomy ASAP. If you want kids then you better practice abstinence because birth control, condoms aren't 100% effective. Sooner or later you'll be the newest daddy on the block. I believe the statistic is 1/3rd of all women get pregnant by the time they are 20. By no means are these women not having sex.
Quote:
I am for child support in theory in some cases but in other's, not so much.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman and pay for the kid yourself.
Yup exactly. The way the law works today is that the woman has 100% choice if she has the baby or not. The man has zero input. Guys once you get her pregnant guess what you are just basically a walking wallet. With that being said it is the man's responsibility in the end to decide if he wants kids or not EARLY ON. For most women, if they are with a decent man and get pregnant they'll have the baby because there is no loss to them.
Then again I don't really care about the problem because I warn people here and there about the dangers but they don't really care. Most people work in the short term, "can't happen to me." Mentality.
Last edited by killer2021; 01-14-2009 at 06:18 PM..
Since you had your child support rant, I'll add my two-cent's worth:
My husband's ex pretty much demanded he sign away his rights to their child. He had no problem with that, so he signed the papers. His ex won't let him see the kid, anyway, and my husband was glad to be relieved of the responsibility of paying support. (That was the deal after he signed.)So after his ex spends all this money on the best lawyer in town to get him out of her son's life for good, the judge denies her petition, saying it would have to be an adoption situation (like her parents were adopting the kid) for him to grant her request.
You'd have thought her high-priced lawyer would have told her that at the get-go. So now my husband's back where he started and hoping she marries someone who will want to adopt their child. He'll have his pen ready to sign again.
Why doesn't he want to be in the life of his own child?
My husband walked away from one but it was because the kid would have been put through hell by his mother if he'd pushed visitation. It was obvious she was going to fight tooth and nail but it was years before we found out why. She lied to her second husband and told him he was her only child when she left two children with my husband when they divorced.
Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
1,113 posts, read 3,493,670 times
Reputation: 1176
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveTodayLez08
There are some women out there who could care less if their boyfriend or husband don't want kids.
They will poke holes in the condom, stop taking birth control pills, or whatever...just to ensure they have a kid.
If the couple breaks up, should the guy have to pay for a kid that he didn't want all because the woman didn't want to take her birth control, poked holes in the condom, and/or didn't want an abortion or didn't get one in time?
Of course the guy could have gotten a vasectomy to prevent ever impregnating a woman but most pregnancies in this country are unplanned so...
I do agree that if the woman might spend the child support check on the car payment or some of her mortgage payment then she makes up for it somewhere else.
My only problem with child support is if the man didn't want the child in the first place. Why should he have to pay for it?
Just like the guy on the Dr. Phil episode a while back-he didn't know that this girl he slept with was pregnant and she comes on the showing demanding child support. Of course the guy could have prevented the pregnancy by wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy but on the other hand, if the woman knew a child would be a financial burder, why not get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption once it's born?
I am for child support in theory in some cases but in other's, not so much.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman an
d pay for the kid yourself.
THANK YOU-THANK YOU-THANK YOU!
I wish I knew my husband's ex's e-mail address, because I'd forward your comment to her.
My sentiments exactly...if you don't want to be a single mom, then keep your knees together.
There are some women out there who could care less if their boyfriend or husband don't want kids.
They will poke holes in the condom, stop taking birth control pills, or whatever...just to ensure they have a kid.
If the couple breaks up, should the guy have to pay for a kid that he didn't want all because the woman didn't want to take her birth control, poked holes in the condom, and/or didn't want an abortion or didn't get one in time?
Of course the guy could have gotten a vasectomy to prevent ever impregnating a woman but most pregnancies in this country are unplanned so...
I do agree that if the woman might spend the child support check on the car payment or some of her mortgage payment then she makes up for it somewhere else.
My only problem with child support is if the man didn't want the child in the first place. Why should he have to pay for it?
Just like the guy on the Dr. Phil episode a while back-he didn't know that this girl he slept with was pregnant and she comes on the showing demanding child support. Of course the guy could have prevented the pregnancy by wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy but on the other hand, if the woman knew a child would be a financial burder, why not get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption once it's born?
I am for child support in theory in some cases but in other's, not so much.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman and pay for the kid yourself.
If a guy doesn't want kids, he needs to take care of that so he doesn't have any. Two snips and the problem is solved. I don't think any guy has the right to decide, after the fact, that he doesn't want the child so he shouldn't have to pay for it. If you don't want them, don't have them. You can abstain or get snipped.
Ditto for single moms who complain. Don't want 'um, don't have 'um but once they're here BOTH parents are responsible.
Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
1,113 posts, read 3,493,670 times
Reputation: 1176
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Why doesn't he want to be in the life of his own child?
My husband walked away from one but it was because the kid would have been put through hell by his mother if he'd pushed visitation. It was obvious she was going to fight tooth and nail but it was years before we found out why. She lied to her second husband and told him he was her only child when she left two children with my husband when they divorced.
Because he doesn't feel like dealing with her and her drama, that's why.
He and I have 2 kids together and he spends his time being their daddy, instead of going through the bull**** to see the kid he has with his ex.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman and pay for the kid yourself.
Last time I checked, it took a man and a woman to have sex and make a baby, so it is both of their responsibility to prevent pregnancy.
Anytime two people have sex there is always a chance of pregnancy. If you are 100 percent sure you don't want kids, get yourself snipped or tied.
There are some women out there who could care less if their boyfriend or husband don't want kids.
They will poke holes in the condom, stop taking birth control pills, or whatever...just to ensure they have a kid.
If the couple breaks up, should the guy have to pay for a kid that he didn't want all because the woman didn't want to take her birth control, poked holes in the condom, and/or didn't want an abortion or didn't get one in time?
Of course the guy could have gotten a vasectomy to prevent ever impregnating a woman but most pregnancies in this country are unplanned so...
I do agree that if the woman might spend the child support check on the car payment or some of her mortgage payment then she makes up for it somewhere else.
My only problem with child support is if the man didn't want the child in the first place. Why should he have to pay for it?
Just like the guy on the Dr. Phil episode a while back-he didn't know that this girl he slept with was pregnant and she comes on the showing demanding child support. Of course the guy could have prevented the pregnancy by wearing a condom or getting a vasectomy but on the other hand, if the woman knew a child would be a financial burder, why not get an abortion or give the kid up for adoption once it's born?
I am for child support in theory in some cases but in other's, not so much.
Why make someone else pay for your responsibility?
You decided to have sex, which can result in pregnancy...you decided to bring the fetus to term AND keep it...be a woman and pay for the kid yourself.
Um, she didn't decide to have sex by herself. If she had, she wouldn't be pregnant. The exact same agrument can be used on the guy. If you have sex, be a man and live up to your responsibility. Pay for your kid.
Sorry but it takes two and both should be responsible.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
