Child support and entitlement (married, girl, family, call)
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My sentiments exactly...if you don't want to be a single mom, then keep your knees together.
I didn't want to be a single mom. I was married for 13 years, and my husband "fell in love" with a hooker from the Phillipines while he was on a one year remote tour to Korea with the AF.
Once the divorce was filed, he decided that he was somehow superdad, even though he'd never been to a cubscout meeting, parent/teacher conference, doctor appt. etc. He didn't even know what grades are kids were in, or how old they were, but for the sake of revenge went all out to prove I was a horrible parent - didn't work.
Then, I told him he could see the kids whenever he wanted, as long as they were back home in time to get some sleep for school, and he said that was unfair - he didn't want to drive that far. He sees them every other weekend, unless he's on vacation, or working on his car, or busy, or . . .
I asked him to pay 1/2 the daycare cost, and that was unfair too - because he works weird hours, and he said if he wasn't the one dropping her off or picking her up, he shouldn't have to pay for it. Um??? Whatever.
Yeah, I have a good job, and I don't need his money. But, the kids had a lot nicer life when I only paid HALF of the mortgage, and HALF of the insurance, and HALF of all the other bills from my salary. Why should they have to do without what they've grown accustomed to their whole lives, just so he can have extra money to send back to his con-artist girlfriend, when he isn't interested at all in actually taking PART in their lives, just in using them to disrupt mine as much as possible.
Should I have never had kids with my husband, on the chance that someday our marriage might fail. No . . . I love my kids. Should I have expected him to end our marriage and go a little crazy? Not really - we lasted twice as long as most people I know, and it came up out of the blue. If he wants to ***** about child support, thats fine. I don't care what he says to people who don't know me, as long as he doesn't lie about me to our kids.
Will I take him to court and fight him for child support? hell, yes. My kids have had enough negative emotional impact from this divorce - they don't need a negative financial impact too.
Since you had your child support rant, I'll add my two-cent's worth:
My husband's ex pretty much demanded he sign away his rights to their child. He had no problem with that, so he signed the papers. His ex won't let him see the kid, anyway, and my husband was glad to be relieved of the responsibility of paying support. (That was the deal after he signed.)So after his ex spends all this money on the best lawyer in town to get him out of her son's life for good, the judge denies her petition, saying it would have to be an adoption situation (like her parents were adopting the kid) for him to grant her request.
You'd have thought her high-priced lawyer would have told her that at the get-go. So now my husband's back where he started and hoping she marries someone who will want to adopt their child. He'll have his pen ready to sign again.
Because he doesn't feel like dealing with her and her drama, that's why.
He and I have 2 kids together and he spends his time being their daddy, instead of going through the bull**** to see the kid he has with his ex.
I didn't want to be a single mom. I was married for 13 years, and my husband "fell in love" with a hooker from the Phillipines while he was on a one year remote tour to Korea with the AF.
Once the divorce was filed, he decided that he was somehow superdad, even though he'd never been to a cubscout meeting, parent/teacher conference, doctor appt. etc. He didn't even know what grades are kids were in, or how old they were, but for the sake of revenge went all out to prove I was a horrible parent - didn't work.
Then, I told him he could see the kids whenever he wanted, as long as they were back home in time to get some sleep for school, and he said that was unfair - he didn't want to drive that far. He sees them every other weekend, unless he's on vacation, or working on his car, or busy, or . . .
I asked him to pay 1/2 the daycare cost, and that was unfair too - because he works weird hours, and he said if he wasn't the one dropping her off or picking her up, he shouldn't have to pay for it. Um??? Whatever.
Yeah, I have a good job, and I don't need his money. But, the kids had a lot nicer life when I only paid HALF of the mortgage, and HALF of the insurance, and HALF of all the other bills from my salary. Why should they have to do without what they've grown accustomed to their whole lives, just so he can have extra money to send back to his con-artist girlfriend, when he isn't interested at all in actually taking PART in their lives, just in using them to disrupt mine as much as possible.
Should I have never had kids with my husband, on the chance that someday our marriage might fail. No . . . I love my kids. Should I have expected him to end our marriage and go a little crazy? Not really - we lasted twice as long as most people I know, and it came up out of the blue. If he wants to ***** about child support, thats fine. I don't care what he says to people who don't know me, as long as he doesn't lie about me to our kids.
Will I take him to court and fight him for child support? hell, yes. My kids have had enough negative emotional impact from this divorce - they don't need a negative financial impact too.
I think it's sad and disgusting for any parent, male or female, not to be a part of their child's life. How pathetic!!! As a single mom who was married to the jerk for three years, who then decided that he no longer wanted to be a dad, I take great offense to anyone on this forum who says that a woman needs to "keep her legs closed" because trust me...nothing is guaranteed for anyone on this forum!!! How sad!!! I hope that for those who feel that the father should just move on because of financial difficulty, that they NEVER become a single parent with this guy, because he will probably not be around!!!! What goes around comes around.
What about the guy who is paying support to only find out the mother who has moved to another state was letting her live in boyfriend take the check and spend it on himself? I know a guy in that situation. He finds out when his ex calls him to have the check sent to another address because her boyfriend gets the check, makes her sign it, and he cashes and spends the money. At one point their son ran away and was living in another city, she never tells the father and goes on collecting the child support. His son got really messed up, on drugs, somehow found his way to his dad's and he's still required to send the child support even though he's now got the kid and trying to salvage him.
Of course there is the other side where the father wants hot sex and ditches his family and wants nothing more to do with being a father and doesn't make an attempt to see that his kids have food to eat. He's got himself a new babe, she's great in bed and that's all he cares about.
Part of the problem though is that custody isn't fair, custody should go to the better parent and in many cases both parents want to be a part of their children's lives and joint custody should be considered, with both parents providing to the financial and emotional support of their children.
And it's no excuse at all that *she* took care of the condoms, poked holes in them, the man can provide his own condoms, hold onto them until the time they're needed, or like others said - vasectomy. If you don't want kids, don't have them, too many ways such as sterilization to make any excuses about that.
This is to those women who marry and give birth to children for a man who doesn't take care of the one(s) he already has. When he does it to you- don't try to get and sympathy from others.
You had concrete proof that your man was pond scum. Yet you chose to ignore it. You listened as he blamed the evil witch he deemed good enough to be with at one time and get her pregnant. You thought you were better than her and he would take care of his 'new children'. I only feel sorry for them, not you.
Other women don't have any 8ball into the future, they don't think their husband/boyfriend would run for the hills when responsibility came knocking. You had that, but you could change him, right?
What about the guy who is paying support to only find out the mother who has moved to another state was letting her live in boyfriend take the check and spend it on himself? I know a guy in that situation. He finds out when his ex calls him to have the check sent to another address because her boyfriend gets the check, makes her sign it, and he cashes and spends the money. At one point their son ran away and was living in another city, she never tells the father and goes on collecting the child support. His son got really messed up, on drugs, somehow found his way to his dad's and he's still required to send the child support even though he's now got the kid and trying to salvage him.
Unbelieveable. That chick should have her eggs fried.
Quote:
Of course there is the other side where the father wants hot sex and ditches his family and wants nothing more to do with being a father and doesn't make an attempt to see that his kids have food to eat. He's got himself a new babe, she's great in bed and that's all he cares about.
He should have HIS eggs scrambled.
Quote:
Part of the problem though is that custody isn't fair, custody should go to the better parent and in many cases both parents want to be a part of their children's lives and joint custody should be considered, with both parents providing to the financial and emotional support of their children.
I have a couple of friends who split custody and the court works it so they have 50/50 time with the kids; neither of them pay child support. It's unfortunate when the marriage just doesn't work out; but this seems to be the best resolution.
Unbelieveable. That chick should have her eggs fried.
He should have HIS eggs scrambled.
I have a couple of friends who split custody and the court works it so they have 50/50 time with the kids; neither of them pay child support. It's unfortunate when the marriage just doesn't work out; but this seems to be the best resolution.
I've been alternately gritting my teeth, smiling and lamenting the stories in this thread, and have until now stifled the impulse to weigh in on this issue. What I have bolded above is by far the best solution to this, and the simplest. Why can't couples and courts do the easiest thing, and the right thing, in divorce and custody cases?
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