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As someone in his 40s who's never been married, I regularly run into people who pass judgment and assume things about me based simply on the fact that I've never been married. It used to bother me what people thought, but now I don't care. And the older I get, the more I realize that if there are certain things I haven't done yet (get married, have kids, start my own business, etc.), it's probably because I just don't want to. Lately, I've been meeting more and more people like me. They want to be in a relationship, but they don't want to get married. Some have already been married and don't want to do it again. Others just don't see the point of committing to one person for the rest of their life. I tend to fall into the latter camp. Maybe it's because I don't want kids. Then again, plenty of people have kids despite not being married and go on to be great parents. You also have the people who get married multiple times. If your first two marriages didn't last, it seems strange to think that your next one will. But that doesn't stop them from getting married. Perhaps that explains a new legal concept where marriages have expiration dates. At the end, you can either renew or just walk away. A lot of people get married for religious reasons but younger people aren't as religious as previous generations. Given all of this, do you think we'll reach a point where people see marriage as archaic? I'm not saying everyone is going to give up on having serious relationships. Just that they may not look at relationships as something that necessarily has to lead to something permanent. It took me a long time, but I finally understand why people say a relationship "ran its course."
Last edited by DennyCrane; 10-23-2015 at 01:06 PM..
You have to remember that marriage (that we think of it today) wasn't always around.
And what most Americans think of as marriage is different than many places in the world. What we think of today is very Victorian (maybe Georgian) in nature. Even a few hundred years ago it was completely different. That said, I think marriage as defined in the past few hundred years will change, it won't be the same. One could even say we are in the middle of a change now--the separating of religious and civil marriage. But some kind of pairing off/lifetime/near lifetime pair bonding will exist as it's human nature.
And the older I get, the more I realize that if there are certain things I haven't done yet (get married, have kids, start my own business, etc.), it's probably because I just don't want to.
Marriage isn't for everyone. Neither is parenting. That doesn't mean either one is going away anytime soon.
I don't know - I look at my Facebook page and I look around at my peers - and I see people getting married. A lot of people getting married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
You have to remember that marriage (that we think of it today) wasn't always around.
And what most Americans think of as marriage is different than many places in the world. What we think of today is very Victorian (maybe Georgian) in nature. Even a few hundred years ago it was completely different. That said, I think marriage as defined in the past few hundred years will change, it won't be the same. One could even say we are in the middle of a change now--the separating of religious and civil marriage. But some kind of pairing off/lifetime/near lifetime pair bonding will exist as it's human nature.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Marriage isn't for everyone. Neither is parenting. That doesn't mean either one is going away anytime soon.
"As someone in his 40s who's never been married, I regularly run into people who pass judgment and assume things about me based simply on the fact that I've never been married."
Really? I'm 49 and have never been married and this doesn't happen to me at all. The only pressure I received was from a few relatives, but that stopped about ten years ago when they realized I actually was serious about not wanting to get married. Among friends and co-workers, nobody has ever mentioned it.
"Lately, I've been meeting more and more people like me. They want to be in a relationship, but they don't want to get married."
This I find true. I dated about a dozen women before meeting my now G/F, and all but two were not interested in marriage. They were all in their 40's to lower 50's, and most (including my G/F) had been married before and had no desire to do so again.
"Given all of this, do you think we'll reach a point where people see marriage as archaic?"
I think there will still always be a segment of people who want to get married either for religious/legal reasons or because it's important to them.
Last edited by david0966; 10-23-2015 at 12:59 PM..
It probably won't go away but it's definitely going to change and it should. Marriage just brings about too many headaches. The wedding part is so expensive and unnecessary and the divorce part is just a nightmare. I've never been married but I've seen marriages come and go all around me. It's much easier if people just cohabitate rather than tie the knot. If things don't work out, you just go your separate ways and that's that.
Marriage just doesn't make sense.
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