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Think of it like cars. One is the car you rent when you go to a different city on business. The other is the long term lease. Either way, you're paying somebody for the privelege of driving. It's just a question of duration.
I'm with you there. This is what has become so interesting about the responses I received online. Who's to say a lack of commitment precludes substance?
What I was seeking (and still prefer now) could be considered somewhat provocative, because I don't want a commitment and I prefer successful men. But it doesn't equate to being a sl*t, hooker or SB. None of those forms of companionship is for me. I can't fake interest, don't want to keep up with several men (I'm very selfish with my "me time") and I wouldn't like the overtone of entitlement that comes with having a sugardaddy.
Though, I can see where someone with my preferences would find being with a married man convenient; meet once or twice a week for lunch/dinner, have some private time and send him home. A married man won't expect all of a gal's time and he can only go so far with the relationship. But there is a relationship. All of that is perfect for me, except for the wife and kids at home.
We know most men prefer pros for the same convenience. I tend to wonder if that is a perk for pros as well, besides the financial benefit, because is it more fantasy driven. She sends him home and doesn't have to deal with him on a daily basis, at least not until their next meet, if there's even a next meet.
Why not just go Dutch, have some private time and then send him on his way? The money part is what sounds bad.
Why not just go Dutch, have some private time and then send him on his way? The money part is what sounds bad.
Ah, this is a perfect example. The fact that I prefer successful men automatically makes people think that I am after them for their money or want them to pay for everything. I do see how that could be the conclusion because I accept that some people are accustomed to a certain way of thinking.
I have paid, but most will insist on paying. Since I date older gentlemen, they are of the old school thought that a gentleman picks up the tab. So, I find other ways to contribute, like a gift or I'll cook them lunch or dinner and we'll stay in.
Last edited by PassTheChocolate; 02-08-2009 at 05:38 PM..
That is right. There is a main difference though. A prostitute has come to the fact that she can make money off selling her body. She is not in denial about it. She sets her rates and gets clients.
A ***** on the other hand is in denial about it. She doesn't equate the fact that a man buying her dinner, a gift, a ring etc is not compensation for sex. When in reality, it is. Whores are usually into more lucrative deals. A prostitute will only get x$ per act. A ***** on the other hand is generally looking to seal the business transaction (ie. marriage). Marriage will entitle her to alimony, community property assets, potential child support which can all be very lucrative. A lot more lucrative than going to school, working 9-5 for it. I honestly don't blame these women for doing such. If there is someone stupid enough to marry a gold digger, more power to her!
Of course, me being a man I never pay for sex because I do not support any forms of prostitution. I don't buy a woman ~anything~. Women have sex with me either for the pure pleasure of the act or because they think they are going to hook me. It is like giving a free sample. They give the free sample because they want you to buy the product. I take the free sample and run unless of course they are offering more free samples Also I am very militant about not paying for sex in ANY way. I don't pay for sex because it is degrading to my male ego.
if the arrangement works for both parties and makes them happy, what is there to judge? good for you for having courage to seek a relationship that suits you. I've known plenty of women who would date several men at once for the attention/sex and they get a much better rep than those who do it for money, it's a double standard.
i don't think that a sugar daddy relationship is wrong. that's why men try to be successful, no?
Think of it like cars. One is the car you rent when you go to a different city on business. The other is the long term lease. Either way, you're paying somebody for the privelege of driving. It's just a question of duration.
I view more in terms of straight salary or working on a commission. A hooker knows exactly what she is going to earn from the transaction. Where as being a gold digger is a high risk high reward occupation. You might not get anything or you might take the guy for everything.
What I was seeking (and still prefer now) could be considered somewhat provocative, because I don't want a commitment and I prefer successful men.... A married man won't expect all of a gal's time and he can only go so far with the relationship. But there is a relationship. All of that is perfect for me, except for the wife and kids at home...
By "successful" do you mean the usual code word for wealthy (or at least well-to-do)? And how do you judge this: by the fancy car, deluxe watch, high-end clothes, and posh home? Or do you define "success" less by financial wealth and more about their profession and/or achievement in their field?
If I understand you correctly you're looking for a successful, mature guy who will be a friend and lover but will not crowd you or expect too much. You're not looking for him to be your gravy train, don;t want him to pay your bills, etc. You want a well-situated companion who can treat you well. Seems to me that if you are reasonably attractive, smart, and kind that you should be able to find this without too much problem.
By "successful" do you mean the usual code word for wealthy (or at least well-to-do)?
Well to do, not filthy rich, but the ability to live comfortably if he loses his job or becomes disabled, that kind of thing.
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And how do you judge this: by the fancy car, deluxe watch, high-end clothes, and posh home? Or do you define "success" less by financial wealth and more about their profession and/or achievement in their field?
Financial security, like I described above. I've done the fancy car, posh home, high-end thing. It's nice, but it's not what impresses me.
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If I understand you correctly you're looking for a successful, mature guy who will be a friend and lover but will not crowd you or expect too much.
Exactly.
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You're not looking for him to be your gravy train, don;t want him to pay your bills, etc.
Not at all. I can take care of myself and one other person if need be. He should be able to do the same. I do see any man I am with to be a potential life partner - we never know when love will find us. So, I want us to be able to enjoy a stress free life together; financial security is a must.
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You want a well-situated companion who can treat you well. Seems to me that if you are reasonably attractive, smart, and kind that you should be able to find this without too much problem.
I haven't been very active and I am selective, but I am also patient. I am optimistic that he will come along.
Last edited by PassTheChocolate; 02-08-2009 at 09:07 PM..
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Also I am very militant about not paying for sex in ANY way. I don't pay for sex because it is degrading to my male ego.
