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My Mom died May of 07. My Dad is doing quite well although admits how much he depended on her for decision making and just her presence, companionship and everyday discussion. He has learned to cook, bake, wash clothes and is still working every day in the shop or in the yard.
My Mom wouldn't have fared so well had my Dad gone first, just knowing her, not weak, we women are very strong, but after 57 years it's devastating!!
In general I think Men are more needy. I am single, have been for over 15 years. The men I know want to get married. Can't handle being without a woman. I just attract those type of men somehow, I am the opposite.
This last summer an acquaintance of mines mom passed away after a long illness...she passed on Thursday...as my friend had taken off of work to take care of arrangements...her father, who was healthy, passed away on Saturday in his sleep. They were a lovely Philippino couple who were married almost 50 years and completely devoted. Very tragic but lovely.
I think women statistically expect to be left alone in later years whereas men don't. Men are really just little boys who want someone to notice and pamper them. When my friend's husband left her he married the very first woman he encountered who happened to be the ticket agent at the airport on his way out of town.
Medical note - I too had extensive surgery as you describe. The after effect is that you are loaded up with meds to slow your heart down, which can make you pass out.
I believe men are more likely to quickly remarry after a divorce or the death of their wife, despite all the grumbling and half-jokes about how much men hate being married.
I absolutely agree with this. Men are much needier than women, in my experience.
My Dad would be lost without my Mom. If anything happened to her I don't think he'd live out the year. Mom on the other hand will be OK without Dad. Sure she'll be sad and miss him, but she can take care of herself much better.
I got back from visiting my Dad yesterday and was thinking about a few things that we talked about. My stepmother had a major open heart surgery a few years ago. She still doesn't seem to be doing all that great, she's on a bunch of heart meds and the whole bit. A few days ago she got dizzy and almost feel down. My dad told me that she's going to go and get some more tests done to see how her heart is doing. While talking about this my father confessed that he would be "lost" without her.
It seems like I've noticed this alot though out my life. It seems like the men can't handle being alone or dealing with loss as well as women do. Maybe I'm wrong just kind of wondering.
What do the wise sages here on CD think
Funny, what's being called 'needy' in this thread could be called 'more compassionate' do I think that men are more compassionate than women? Yes.
but here we're using a negative word to describe men who would be emotionally devastated from the loss of their SO. We could just say that women are colder. Right? Chowhound, why do you use the word needy to describe the man who has a heart?
Funny, what's being called 'needy' in this thread could be called 'more compassionate' do I think that men are more compassionate than women? Yes.
but here we're using a negative word to describe men who would be emotionally devastated from the loss of their SO. We could just say that women are colder. Right? Chowhound, why do you use the word needy to describe the man who has a heart?
(or maybe I'm just wrong.......)
Read the original post again - his dad "would be lost" without his wife - that doesn't imply compassion - it implies he's needy of her presence to live his life - big difference. (Though he may be ALSO be a compassionate man, that's not the point)
Nope. I am most attracted to men that I respect. Neediness does nada for me.
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