straightforward pre-nup formula

[emailvasally]

I dont see anything wrong with pre-nups. My dh wanted me to sign one but was to cheap to go to a lawyer to have it drawn up. He pulled many of them off the internet. I ended up not signing one because they didnt work in our situation with me becoming a SAHM. In the end he trusted me that I wouldnt take everything. basically in my eyes, everything that was his prior to marriage is his if the marriage ends. anything accumalated during the marriage gets split 50/50. If you search for awhile you should be able to find several sites with prewritten pre-nups. I have heard many of them wont stand up in court though, so I would reccomend going to a lawyer.

[Tzaphkiel]

just because you both write something down and sign it, doesn't mean it is legal, or will hold up in a court of law. With good reason. Laws are there to protect people from taking advantage of others.

if you are that fidgety already about having to "maintain an ex-wife" then don't get married.

Marriage is about more than money but it doesn't sound like you see it that way.

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by gear down

I don't see any tragic separation eventually, only a friendly one, in that case, is good to move on without other stupid rules.

and if you already see so clearly the splitting up....why bother getting married in the first place! You're already planning your divorce!

What "benefits" do you see to marriage anyway, why go through with it at all? I'm curious.

[gear down]

Originally Posted by keith talent

As long as your earning abilities are similar, there's unlikely to be alimony. But if somebody wants to move in and put her feet up and be your "muse," well there's an extra charge for that!

That's the point. We really love each other and I really want to be with her as much as she wants it. Our situation is a bit complicated, I live and work in the UK and she is in moldova, which is an ex soviet satellite country with a lot of difficulties. She cannot leave the country unless married, and her economical conditions are not good, but that is not a problem as she has a good education and she is young.

I am sure we will never have any sort of problems, but at the same time I want to have some sort of assurances.....

[Tzaphkiel]

Originally Posted by gear down

she is in moldova, which is an ex soviet satellite country with a lot of difficulties. She cannot leave the country unless married, and her economical conditions are not good.

I am sure we will never have any sort of problems....

well those are some pretty big red flags right there
call an attorney who has experience with your type of questions (immigration, marriage, protecting assets, whatever) so you have more information from people who know the law, who know the pitfalls, who have more experience than anyone on this forum does.

Talk to an attorney BEFORE you jeopardize your assets.

Also get online and read stories of men who "fell in love with women from other countries" and lo and behold what happened after the wedding when they got out of their countries. It's a real eye opener. Read some real-life stories so you go in with your eyes open.

I don't know you or your lady friend, and I'm not saying she has ulterior motives, or that your relationship isn't a lovely one, but PLEASE read other people's stories who felt, thought, did EXACTLY what you are doing now.

i would say you have a right to be concerned. best wishes