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44 and 42. No kids. Not planning on having any. Have talked to a few people (not too many) that would love the freedom.
It isn't worth it. The love and attachment you have, back and forth, with your children must be unbelievable. I can only compare it to having a dog when I was in my teens and twenties, and I thought that was great. Can, but can't imagine the attachment to a child.
Feel free to add any comments, wheather you have children or don't and are not planning to.
I'm 46. Have two sons, (11 and almost 13). I wasn't able to get pregnant for THE LONGEST TIME!!! ... when my first was born I never left that child till I went into the hospital to have my second...then I realized, it was time to take advantage of the break...however, yes, I love them both to death. Yes, they are two different people. Yes, you never believe you can love your children so much...and each attachment is different....I love them both with all my heart and am happy I was able to bring them into this world.....
Believe me, after you have to bail your kid out jail a couple of times, or *god forbid" bury one, the attachment isn't so wonderful, I would bet.
I am blissfully childfree - by choice - literally. The prospect never appealed to me at all. Being responsible for another human being for 18 long, tortureous years? No thanks. I like peace and quiet in my house. I like to sleep late when I can. I like to go on vacations at the drop of a hat. I like to have items in my house which are breakable. I like to eat when I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep, run around the house naked.
20yrsinBranson
The excruciating pain of those circumstances is nothing compared to the exquisite love and bond you have with your child for years and years of your life.
Raising children well takes extreme sacrifice on the part of a parent - those not willing to make the sacrifices are better off not even making the attempt. Those of us who are will know a priceless, precious joy and treasure you cannot really fathom without having experienced it yourself. Luckily it takes all kinds to make the world go round
Genetically men are NOT predisposed to have an attachement to the results of a momentary sexual encounter. It is completely different to have carried a baby for 9 long months. Have this baby come OUT OF YOUR BODY, and breast feed it.
Men will never have the innate attachement to a child that a woman does. If appearances indicate otherwise, it is a learned behavior, presumably based on cultural pressures. It has nothing to do with nature.
20yrsinBranson
So, men are just sperm depositors?
Of course there's a difference. The two (mother & father)different attachments may come from a different source, but they end up at the same place. Over the last 24+ years, I have loved, hurt for, cried with, laughed at, laughed with, enjoyed, and appreciated our sons just as much as my wife has.
My husband hates the attitude of "You are less of a parent because you are a man."
He went to every pre-natal appointment with me and was there through the pregnancy literally every step of the way. He was part of every decision right down to the type of diapers to get. When our son was born, he could not tear himself away from him. He stayed awake to be with him until he literally dropped from exhaustion.
Now compare that to a woman that throws her baby in the dumpster and I DARE YOU to tell me that she had a stronger "innate attachment" than my husband.
My husband hates the attitude of "You are less of a parent because you are a man."
Mine too. And if somebody asks him if he's "babysitting" if I'm out and he's home with the girls....let's just say they get an earful.
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