Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lordie! Silly me thought math was used only in defining beauty and perhaps on the 1-10 scale... There are some elaborate formulas here! Almost like the decorating/dressing 60-30-10 formula.
No, not harsh at all, I'm right on the money. But dont take my word for it. Ask her.
The point is you were completely off topic. She asked if anyone had "used a professional matchmaking service" NOT "tell me why something is wrong with me because I am asking an honest question".
The point is you were completely off topic. She asked if anyone had "used a professional matchmaking service" NOT "tell me why something is wrong with me because I am asking an honest question".
Interesting question for a 32 year old female who has never married and says she hasn't had a boyfriend in years. I say interesting because females, if not completely repulsive, should have ZERO problems finding a suitable mate by the time they are 32. For the remainder of this response I will assume you do not fall into the 'completely repulsive' category as that is a different issue altogether.
I notice that you say "there just isn't a mutual level of attraction physically, mentally, or emotionally". I'm pretty good at reading between the lines and its interesting that you list 'physically' first, before mentally and emotionally. Not typical for a female to do that. Are you saying in all your 32 years you just don't ever see "10's", because its obvious that's what you're looking for. Perfectionist are we? If continued, it is very clear where this path will lead you: the 50 year old cat woman. Nobody is perfect and as much as you don't want to settle, you must learn to do just that. Does that mean settle on awful? Of course not! It simply means settling on someone that isn't a '10', because a 10 doesn't exist.
As far as numbers go, I have a pretty simple equation. The equation pretty much tells me whether I'm settling too much or exactly where that line is drawn. I call it the 30/21 rule. It goes like this: there are 30 total points and they consist of (a) 10 points for the personality/inside, (b) 10 points for the face, and (c) 10 points for the body. When sizing someone up, I'd hope to find someone that 'scores' at least 21 points total which is an average of 7 points per category (remember, we have to SETTLE here...ha). Also, somebody can score a 5 in a category, AT THE LOWEST, but that obviously means it must be made up in another category so that the total doesn't go below 21. Remember, 21 is the minimum; the ideal is between 21 and 30. How often do you think I see '30's'? Never. Which is about as often as you see them, hence your current situation. Again, one must be realistic or one will be alone for the rest of their life.
I think most people would *ideally* want a '10', heck who wouldn't? And I don't think that's being superficial to want that either. But most people would *also* want a billion dollars. The chances of someone attaining either of those is next to nil, which is what I think you'll end up finding out, hopefully before its too late. The funny thing is even if you have attained those billion dollars (think Donald Trump), even HE hasn't been all that happy in regards to relationships. Huh? you might say. Yes, he has discussed the difficulties and frustrations in finding someone. But wait, he's loaded. So what! Here's the killer point here: EVEN IF A '10' WILL WANT TO BE WITH HIS OLD BUTT (because he's loaded), IT STILL NEVER WORKS OUT. Because the physicality only goes and lasts so long. She may have been pretty, but they're not compatible.
What makes you think that "shelling out $1,000 or $2,000" to a matchmaking service is going to equate in them bringing your prince (think '10') on a silver plate? You are asking the impossible, and money cant buy it either. Whats a little self destructive is that you are burning up all your young years only causing it to be that much harder finding someone when you are older and do not look as youthful as you may have used to.
With all that said, ask ANY happily married couple that has been together over 10 years how important the looks are IN REGARDS TO MAKING THE MARRIAGE LAST. It's not the key. Compatibility is the key. You may have had too little relationship experience in the past to not realize this simple, but important point.
As for your comment "quite a few of the men aren't interested in a long-term relationship", I'm having a little bit of a hard time with that one, especially at the age bracket of guys you are most likely seeing. Sure, everybody knows there are the typical guys that just want to have fun and not seriously date, but when most guys find the right girl, someone they are very into, they will usually want to stay with that person. And when guys are 30 or more, they are usually over the 'I don't want anything serious' phase. I'm in my mid-30's and I never even went through anything even related to that phase. I have known guys that were going through that phase and as soon as they met someone they actually liked, they stopped that lifestyle and settled down with the girl. Its like they were just waiting for that person to come along and then they put all their past behind them.
In no way do I want any of this to sound too stringent, but I think you are a bit off track with no signs of deviating. Just seems like someone should say the obvious to you, but you have no one around to do that because no one is good enough.
: )
3pointone4-You MUST BE A MAN! The woman simply asked a question about matchmaking services why do you have to turn it into...well your single cause blah blah blah...? That wasn't her question. She wasn't looking for insults. I looked at your profile and it says you are in your 30's and single and love dogs yet you criticize the single 50 year old woman w/cats when you are not too far behind. There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I strongly believe that one- either male or female- can be happy alone without children without a husband. I am a 40 year old single woman with no children. I never wanted children and I still don't.I never found a person I loved enough to marry. I don't NEED to marry anyone. I could marry any loser that wanted to marry me but I DON"T HAVE TO. Two great things about this country is that women can exercise that right NOT to EVER have children or to NEVER be married. I do respect your opinion and thank you for sharing 3pointone4. Hope you respect mine. By the way, the woman looking at joining the matchmaking service...don't waste your money join meetup.com or match.com. Have a good day.
Interesting question for a 32 year old female who has never married and says she hasn't had a boyfriend in years. I say interesting because females, if not completely repulsive, should have ZERO problems finding a suitable mate by the time they are 32. For the remainder of this response I will assume you do not fall into the 'completely repulsive' category as that is a different issue altogether.
I notice that you say "there just isn't a mutual level of attraction physically, mentally, or emotionally". I'm pretty good at reading between the lines and its interesting that you list 'physically' first, before mentally and emotionally. Not typical for a female to do that. Are you saying in all your 32 years you just don't ever see "10's", because its obvious that's what you're looking for. Perfectionist are we? If continued, it is very clear where this path will lead you: the 50 year old cat woman. Nobody is perfect and as much as you don't want to settle, you must learn to do just that. Does that mean settle on awful? Of course not! It simply means settling on someone that isn't a '10', because a 10 doesn't exist.
As far as numbers go, I have a pretty simple equation. The equation pretty much tells me whether I'm settling too much or exactly where that line is drawn. I call it the 30/21 rule. It goes like this: there are 30 total points and they consist of (a) 10 points for the personality/inside, (b) 10 points for the face, and (c) 10 points for the body. When sizing someone up, I'd hope to find someone that 'scores' at least 21 points total which is an average of 7 points per category (remember, we have to SETTLE here...ha). Also, somebody can score a 5 in a category, AT THE LOWEST, but that obviously means it must be made up in another category so that the total doesn't go below 21. Remember, 21 is the minimum; the ideal is between 21 and 30. How often do you think I see '30's'? Never. Which is about as often as you see them, hence your current situation. Again, one must be realistic or one will be alone for the rest of their life.
I think most people would *ideally* want a '10', heck who wouldn't? And I don't think that's being superficial to want that either. But most people would *also* want a billion dollars. The chances of someone attaining either of those is next to nil, which is what I think you'll end up finding out, hopefully before its too late. The funny thing is even if you have attained those billion dollars (think Donald Trump), even HE hasn't been all that happy in regards to relationships. Huh? you might say. Yes, he has discussed the difficulties and frustrations in finding someone. But wait, he's loaded. So what! Here's the killer point here: EVEN IF A '10' WILL WANT TO BE WITH HIS OLD BUTT (because he's loaded), IT STILL NEVER WORKS OUT. Because the physicality only goes and lasts so long. She may have been pretty, but they're not compatible.
What makes you think that "shelling out $1,000 or $2,000" to a matchmaking service is going to equate in them bringing your prince (think '10') on a silver plate? You are asking the impossible, and money cant buy it either. Whats a little self destructive is that you are burning up all your young years only causing it to be that much harder finding someone when you are older and do not look as youthful as you may have used to.
With all that said, ask ANY happily married couple that has been together over 10 years how important the looks are IN REGARDS TO MAKING THE MARRIAGE LAST. It's not the key. Compatibility is the key. You may have had too little relationship experience in the past to not realize this simple, but important point.
As for your comment "quite a few of the men aren't interested in a long-term relationship", I'm having a little bit of a hard time with that one, especially at the age bracket of guys you are most likely seeing. Sure, everybody knows there are the typical guys that just want to have fun and not seriously date, but when most guys find the right girl, someone they are very into, they will usually want to stay with that person. And when guys are 30 or more, they are usually over the 'I don't want anything serious' phase. I'm in my mid-30's and I never even went through anything even related to that phase. I have known guys that were going through that phase and as soon as they met someone they actually liked, they stopped that lifestyle and settled down with the girl. Its like they were just waiting for that person to come along and then they put all their past behind them.
In no way do I want any of this to sound too stringent, but I think you are a bit off track with no signs of deviating. Just seems like someone should say the obvious to you, but you have no one around to do that because no one is good enough.
: )
Somehow I managed to lose track of my own thread from a few weeks back but I finally caught up today.
3pointone4: Your post was laughable. You go on and on about me wanting to find a "10" simply because I said I was looking for someone where there is mutual physical, emotional, and mental attraction and I happened to list physical first?! You then go on to talk about a 30 point scale where 20 out of the 30 points are based on looks! That's pretty lopsided. Looks are definitely important but personality, intelligence, and overall character are even more important! And yes, I know that compatibility is key--that's why I was hoping the matchmaking service might be a good option since that's what's most important to them.
To everyone else who responded: Thanks for your feedback! I think I may go ahead and try the service. Worst-case scenario, I guess I'm out several hundred bucks. Best-case scenario, I end up meeting someone who I normally never would have run into and he ends up being perfect for me (3pointone4: Notice I said "perfect FOR ME", not just "perfect.")
To everyone else who responded: Thanks for your feedback! I think I may go ahead and try the service. Worst-case scenario, I guess I'm out several hundred bucks. Best-case scenario, I end up meeting someone who I normally never would have run into and he ends up being perfect for me (3pointone4: Notice I said "perfect FOR ME", not just "perfect.")
I just wanted to give an update on this. I nearly signed up for "It's Just Lunch" last week. It was going to be several hundred dollars but I thought it might be worth it. I gave them my credit card number and all I had left to do was sign the contract. Then, I decided to do a quick search on the Internet for user reviews. They were awful and all from women. Apparently, WAY more women sign up for the service than men. The complaints were that the men were socially awkward, unattractive, and sometimes were getting the service for free because there was such a shortage of men using the service. On top of that, it seems like everyone was told there were 4-5 men that seemed perfect for them in the system but when they met in real life, the men were not at all what the women were looking for. I was told the same thing so now I'm pretty damn skeptical! I decided not to sign the contract and unless a bunch of people on here tell me they've used this service before and liked it, I'm not doing it. It's a little disappointing because I thought it could be fun and may actually work.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lordie! Silly me thought math was used only in defining beauty and perhaps on the 1-10 scale... There are some elaborate formulas here!
You came across a little harsh, don't you think?
The woman simply asked a question about matchmaking services why do you have to turn it into...well your single cause blah blah blah...? That wasn't her question. She wasn't looking for insults. I looked at your profile and it says you are in your 30's and single and love dogs yet you criticize the single 50 year old woman w/cats when you are not too far behind. There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I strongly believe that one- either male or female- can be happy alone without children without a husband. I am a 40 year old single woman with no children. I never wanted children and I still don't.I never found a person I loved enough to marry. I don't NEED to marry anyone. I could marry any loser that wanted to marry me but I DON"T HAVE TO. Two great things about this country is that women can exercise that right NOT to EVER have children or to NEVER be married. I do respect your opinion and thank you for sharing 3pointone4. Hope you respect mine. By the way, the woman looking at joining the matchmaking service...don't waste your money join meetup.com or match.com. Have a good day.
