Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lately, the principles of monogamy have been nagging me like a kid begging for candy. Is monogamy part of our evolution as human beings, or simply another social construct? A few weeks ago, I was asked if there was any period in humanity's past I could return to, which would it be?
I responded, "The very beginning of the Homo Sapien." Why? Because I believe that period is very telling to what our behavior should be like as human beings -- All without the skewing of today's modern society, beliefs and ideas. Sure, we certainly evolved over time to become smarter, more resourceful, etc., but it's also during this period where human beings became more devious and clever where a small percentage recognized "the big picture."
I believe the Homo Sapien today is vastly different than that thousands of years ago -- and not for the better. On the surface, it might appear that we've progressed quite well; However, we've regressed, too. The lines of evolution and social conditioning have been blurred in a way that we've co-mingled the two such that we deceive ourselves beyond the average person's capability to think reasonably and logically (Only because social conditioning serves as a block to deconstructing social constructs).
If only time travel were possible to see with my own two eyes how human beings were truly intended to live -- it would be priceless -- if just for a moment to witness.
Well, there's a lot more going on in your post than that question in the title. I've been wondering about that particular one, honestly, ever since I noticed some books in the public library proposing that monogamy is nothing more than a social construct. I really can't decide how I feel about it. I know that it's what I need. I don't think I could say if I was born needing it, or if what society has shown me has conditioned me to believe that it's the only way I could be happy. So many similar questions are difficult to answer. There are innumerable things that I wonder if I just accept as truths because I have seen them acted out and affirmed by other people time and time again.
Yes, there's a lot more than meets the eye. However, like you, monogamy was always something I desired in a partner. Through the experiences of my own and of friends and family, the question I posed is becoming more prominent in my life as I grow older, reflect on my growth, etc.
There's a part of me which believes monogamy -- for human beings -- is manufactured. While I'm not sure if my makeup as a monogamous male is due to social conditioning or not, its always been a strong trait for me. It could also be due to environment, which may have helped shape my own policy about monogamy.
I believe there's a message in the various observations I've made about cheating, which often times cannot even be explained by those who do it. My ex couldn't explain it, nor can my friends, family, etc. Perhaps there's really nothing to explain but to understand that monogamy just isn't natural for most of us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by buildings_and_bridges
Well, there's a lot more going on in your post than that question in the title. I've been wondering about that particular one, honestly, ever since I noticed some books in the public library proposing that monogamy is nothing more than a social construct. I really can't decide how I feel about it. I know that it's what I need. I don't think I could say if I was born needing it, or if what society has shown me has conditioned me to believe that it's the only way I could be happy. So many similar questions are difficult to answer. There are innumerable things that I wonder if I just accept as truths because I have seen them acted out and affirmed by other people time and time again.
I believe there's a message in the various observations I've made about cheating, which often times cannot even be explained by those who do it. My ex couldn't explain it, nor can my friends, family, etc. Perhaps there's really nothing to explain but to understand that monogamy just isn't natural for most of us.
Whether or not that's the case, I don't think it's just okay for there to be no explanation for your ex's behavior (among others...just an example). I think there's a huge difference between an open or polyamorous relationship and one person going behind the other's back and cheating without the conditions of the relationship ever being discussed.
I do not believe it is natural. I do believe it is a choice. When you love some one you choose to be commited and faithful. Like putting the toilet seat down for you guys.....you dont do it because you naturally would those of you who do it choose to because you love your wife/partner and like to see her always smiling.
We are born with a conscionce. Unless we are Charles Manson or one of the various other serial killers.
Is monogamy part of our evolution as human beings, or simply another social construct?
some cultures have it and some don't. even today it is personal preference, some people want it, insist on it as a condition of relationship, others don't want it.
people tend to get in trouble or conflict when they don't have the conversation up front and agree on the terms before becoming intimate; or they do have the conversation, and their behavior goes off in a different direction, ie they agree to monogamy and then run around on the side.
what I tell my kids is TALK ABOUT IT FIRST, a good rule of thumb is IF YOU CAN"T TALK ABOUT SEX including the terms of monogamy or not, then DON"T HAVE SEX, or if you do you'll run into all sorts of problems
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronaldl79
(Only because social conditioning serves as a block to deconstructing social constructs).
LOL for wording here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ronaldl79
If only time travel were possible to see with my own two eyes how human beings were truly intended to live -- it would be priceless -- if just for a moment to witness.
"intended to live" by who or what?
and IT IS possible to travel through time on this issue, simply study up on other cultures, other times, other areas of the world, other races, other histories, and you do get a picture.
You need to be monagomous to raise children properly. It would be a disaster for men to be depositing their sperm inside women and leaving them to fend for themselves. Oh wait, some already are. If you can avoid the pregnancies I do not see what the problem would be.
I do not believe it is natural. I do believe it is a choice. When you love some one you choose to be commited and faithful. Like putting the toilet seat down for you guys.....you dont do it because you naturally would those of you who do it choose to because you love your wife/partner and like to see her always smiling.
We are born with a conscionce. Unless we are Charles Manson or one of the various other serial killers.
WHOA there, let's not equate non-monagamy with serial killing.
WHOA there, let's not equate non-monagamy with serial killing.
LoL, no no. I was just saying I guess some of us have no conscience. I think liars, law breakers, Theives I guess the list could go on about what type of people are more likely to cheat than others. but I guess that is not what the OP is asking.
So anyway I do not think it is human nature to be faithful. To me it really tests ones integrety or character however you want to put it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
