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I think everyone assumes you have had 4 husbands because in your thread title you used the number "4" instead of the word "for"...
Time 4 divorce just had enough
vs
Time for divorce just had enough
Just a thought
I know, I did realize that, I just thought most people realized that I meant it as an abbreveation. Certainly if Iv had 4 H , yes, that would be extreme and it would be understandable people would wonder why I didn't learn my lesson. Two bad ones (one bad BF and now the H) And I think I have .
I know, I did realize that, I just thought most people realized that I meant it as an abbreveation. Certainly if Iv had 4 H , yes, that would be extreme and it would be understandable people would wonder why I didn't learn my lesson. Two bad ones (one bad BF and now the H) And I think I have .
You made my eyes spasm with the texting stuff...WOW!!!!!
Marrying someone doesnt make you dumb, or a loser, and it doesnt matter whether you've done it more than once or twice. Some people are commitment minded. Would you rather be with a person that just dates a lot of the opposite sex, never making a commitment, in and out of relationships, or one that is willing to put their "money where their mouth is so to speak" Also, some people are good at hiding their flaws for quite a while, then they finally let it all hang out, and let the skeletons out of the closet. The feelings of love, don't have a time stamp, a week, a month, a year. You believe it, you want it, (hopefully you rationalize it with opinionated friends) and then, you make your choice. But to say you would rather just date someone than marry them is just the same. A relationship shouldn't differ because of a marital contract, that is really only for the IRS, and divorce courts. In theory, the only reason one would get married is because one has the insecurity of believing there is the possibility of divorce, otherwise, you wouldn't needthe contract.
Our word and everyday actions should be enough. The problem is that there are too many untrustworthy and insecure people out there so they seek supposed security elsewhere.
In essence, civil marriage is a contract that gives some legal level of security to a woman. It does not appear to hold any obvious benefit to a man in today's climate other than to perhaps keep a woman from leaving due to a supposed lack of commitment.
Many men I speak to these days are asking "why" when asked about marriage. Perhaps this is because they are realizing marriage guarantees nothing even when done in a church under God's gaze. Perhaps they have heard too many stories of men getting royally screwed in divorce court. Perhaps they are gamblers and don't like the odds of marital success. Perhaps they are realizing that we are conditioned to marry out of habit and that relatively few of us even know what it takes to stay married. If you take away the religious aspect of it, there might be a case that children is no reason to get married.
Just like the ring, the marriage certificate, other than the aforementioned legal aspect, is little more than a symbol.
In the end, we all just want quality companionship. Respect and love from a partner. From the looks of it, these things are hard to come by.
The dispensibility(sp) issue is what gets to me. I think that if people have blown it twice, then it's time to remain single. I've just seen too much Dr. Phil / Jerry Springer drama among friends and acquaintances, and most of these are college-educated folks, that marriage seems to be a real head-scratcher.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 04-08-2009 at 12:19 PM..
...for better or for worse,
...in sickness and in health,
...til death do we part.
Vows to God in front of witnesses just don't seem to mean anything any more. So much easier to give up when trouble brews. I don't get it.
Don't mean anything "anymore?" You do know that in previous centuries, if men didn't want their wives anymore, they could have them sent to a nunnery, right? Or they could declare that they think (for whatever reason) she's a witch and have her executed. And, most obviously, the church would annul marriages routinely for the nobility.
I don't know why people insist on having this false idealized sense of marriage throughout the ages. The real history of the institution doesn't support it. "'Til Death Do Us Part" may have worked out OK when folks only lived to be 35 years old but, even then, men had ways of getting rid of their wives and being able to move on to another one. Divorce is a heckuva lot more kind than sending women off to be cloistered nuns against their will or accusing them of witchcraft so they'll be burned at the stake!
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