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I remember trying to date when I lived in California. If you didn't have a couple of convictions under your belt chicks wouldn't give you the time of day. So nice guys go home to mom.
I hear they are moving to Iowa. Iowa's star is rising about as fast as California's is falling.
I think this all depends upon how you define "nice". Nice obviously means different things to different people. I wrote this on another thread about my definition of a nice guy:
"Nice guys are friendly, honest, and dependable. They handle responsibility without complaining about it. They are strong on the inside because they know who they are. They are confident in their values and secure with their compassion for others and don't feel the need to broadcast their strengths. They have integrity. They try to find the good in people. They are kind and sensitive to the needs of others, and offer help without being asked. They respect differences in other people. If their self esteem is intact, they don't worry that they are "too" nice. These qualities are what makes the nice guys I know nice. And nice does not equal boring."
I'll take a nice guy as described above with a healthy sex drive over a "bad boy" any day. Nice guys who have some physical component that I find attractive are extremely sexy to me. And nice guys are usually very passionate in bed.
The problem with bad boys is that you're gambling that this guy is going to treat you differently than he's treated all the other women before you, that somehow he's going to like you better and therefore change his stripes for you. Ain't likely to happen.
Yes a guy can be "too nice." And most likely, he will be walked on not only by women. I like nice guys with an edge but when someone's too nice, regardless of gender, I start to think there is something fishy about this person. Not ALL women like A-holes. It completely depends on how secure she is in herself.
Oh God, this again. I've only been here a few months, but doesn't this nice-guys-finish-last thread come up just about every week? All I can say is, if a meteor lands on my husband or something, I don't know if I can go back out there. Bitterness and games aren't my thing.
You know the movie There's Something About Mary? I don't care much for it, but Ben Stiller's character is an example of too nice. He helps his boss's brother move. He moves heavy furniture by himself while the guy yells at him. It's hard to respect people who don't stand up for themselves and establish boundaries, and if a girl doesn't respect you, there's no way she'll have any meaningful feelings for you.
I think that when women are younger they see a man being too nice as a sign of weakness or dysfunction. By being to nice they think men are compensating for some great defect. It is only when they get hurt by dating too many stupid macho bad boys do they realize what a nice guy means. By that time it is too late. They often marry the macho jerk and get treated like a piece of meat. They should have listen to their mothers about nice men.
I think that when women are younger they see a man being too nice as a sign of weakness or dysfunction. By being to nice they think men are compensating for some great defect. It is only when they get hurt by dating too many stupid macho bad boys do they realize what a nice guy means. By that time it is too late. They often marry the macho jerk and get treated like a piece of meat. They should have listen to their mothers about nice men.
Yep, I'm pushing 40 and am seeing "nice guy" stock has risen considerably since I was last dating in my 20's.
I'm the nice guy with the naughty streak and it's working out for me just fine.
I felt like I was giving more than I was getting from the girl I'm dating a little bit back, I made a point of laying out what my needs were and there was a change in attitude on her part in a number of ways.
Nice doesn't mean you have to be a doormat or boring. I've also toughened up a bit being new back to dating and know that things don't HAVE to work out (wierd what kind of default mindset you get after a long marriage).
I learned young that it was no use to be too nice with the girls you have a crush on...on the other hand, when you melt for a girl, it's difficult to play the hard/cold tough guy ...so what I was doing when I was feeling sentimental is have a good drink or two and under the pretense of drunkedness, let my feelings come out ...without fear of the consequences!
Even still, i don't agree with the common definition of "nice", since it seems society gauges niceness by being overly accomodating and essentially being a ***** doormat. I don't think it's healthy to always accomodate others, especially when it's to one's own detriment. In life, nobody owes anybody else anything, and our own happiness is all we ever feel, so always meeting other people's needs makes no sense in the long run (IMO at least).
I define niceness by being a person of moral integrity, general benevolence towards others, not being mean/rude/offensive towards others, and not going out of one's way to hurt other people. I think by being this way, you would make less enemies, and people would be drawn to you since life is reciprocal. People treat you how you treat them. I also think if a woman knows her SO wouldn't mistreat her, and will treat her with respect, then what woman wouldn't want this?
IMO, it seems better than being a ***** doormat.
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