What happened to "we", "us" and "ours"? (wife, boyfriend)
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Two people meet, they fall in love, decide to move in together. Whether she moves into his place or he moves into hers, whether they get married or not, does it not become THEIR home?
If one is working and the other isn't, how does it stop becoming the home of the one who wasn't working?
What if I moved into his home and he stopped working? Does it then become MY home? Do I get to strip him of his rights and any say in what goes on there? Do I get to tell him to move?
Since when do we move in with/marry a supposed life partner only to borrow a life with them; when everything is "ours" until it goes sour and then it's all his or hers?
I'm truly baffled at how a woman carrying a man's child is not entitled to any say in the life they share together because he is working and she isn't.
I am floored by some of the responses here regarding commitment, marriage and the level of respect due to one another.
It has turned into transactional exchanges of entitlement instead of a true union of two people sharing their lives together.
I wonder why these men (or women) don't lay it out up front that they will only be equals when the going is good or when they make the same amount of money. Am I the only one who feels this way?
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 757,691 times
Reputation: 173
Hmmm, wonder what thread this one is about!
You're right, it's surprising the turn that one took. I tried to just give helpful advice, but apparently people wanted to take it in a whole different direction.
With my wife, what's mine is ours. Period. No matter who bought the couch, or put the down payment on the car, I've always felt that a couple who makes a lifelong commitment to each other shares ALL aspects of their life.
Two people meet, they fall in love, decide to move in together. Whether she moves into his place or he moves into hers, whether they get married or not, does it not become THEIR home?
If one is working and the other isn't, how does it stop becoming the home of the one who wasn't working?
What if I moved into his home and he stopped working? Does it then become MY home? Do I get to strip him of his rights and any say in what goes on there? Do I get to tell him to move?
Since when do we move in with/marry a supposed life partner only to borrow a life with them; when everything is "ours" until it goes sour and then it's all his or hers?
I'm truly baffled at how a woman carrying a man's child is not entitled to any say in the life they share together because he is working and she isn't.
I am floored by some of the responses here regarding commitment, marriage and the level of respect due to one another.
It has turned into transactional exchanges of entitlement instead of a true union of two people sharing their lives together.
I wonder why these men (or women) don't lay it out up front that they will only be equals when the going is good or when they make the same amount of money. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I think the "we", "us", and "ours" mentality is a huge presumption and sense of entitlement when you're not married, and moreso when there's a significant imbalance in incomes. Ideally one should talk to their SO about each other's values before moving in together, and definitely before having a baby together.
I think the "we", "us", and "ours" mentality is a huge presumption and sense of entitlement when you're not married, and moreso when there's a significant imbalance in incomes. Ideally one should talk to their SO about each other's values before moving in together, and definitely before having a baby together.
Eh. My boyfriend moved into my house five years ago. And we're really serious about each other. I charge him minimal rent and we split the utilities. It's still my house, and because of my dad's help, if something happened to me, my house would belong to my family. On the other hand, my boyfriend's family has a trust with a lot of property. I don't get involved with his family business, and I don't feel that he owes me a part of it.
Even if we had a child together and were NOT married, I would still consider our personal holdings separate.
However, if we get married, then everything would be shared. The key word here is being formally MARRIED. Without a marriage ceremony, if we had a baby together, I would expect child support from him, but still not his share of his family's assets. Having his baby does not entitle me to them imo.
BTW in regards to thebanker's thread. No way could any guy talk me into having his baby without being married to him first. I'm not an idiot.
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