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Until recently I was involved with one of my female friends from college. We're still are friends after she ended it, but I don't know how I feel about her sometimes. When we hang out it's hard for me to get back into how it used to be.
When she talks to the group about this other guy she's dating I feel my stomach turn and if he was there and they did some PDA I'd probably have to excuse myself from the situation. Although I care about her and she should be happy, part of me wants it not to work out between them, and that makes me feel like such a horrible person.
I want us to remain friends for long-term, but I don't know if I can while I'm still so directly in her life. Maybe with some distance we can still keep in touch and talk about life and relationships without drama.
Sigh... I'm so frustrated. I can't sleep tonight.
Last edited by Barrister85; 04-25-2009 at 03:21 AM..
I already told you it's not going to go back to the way it used to be for a loooooooooong time. It's ok to not hang out with her and heal yourself. You are torturing yourself for nothing.
Location: Gilbert, Arizona... a suburb of metro Phoenix in the East Valley
154 posts, read 287,867 times
Reputation: 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barrister85
Until recently I was involved with one of my female friends from college. We're still are friends after she ended it, but I don't know how I feel about her sometimes. When we hang out it's hard for me to get back into how it used to be.
When she talks to the group about this other guy she's dating I feel my stomach turn and if he was there and they did some PDA I'd probably have to excuse myself from the situation. Although I care about her and she should be happy, part of me wants it not to work out between them, and that makes me feel like such a horrible person.
I want us to remain friends for long-term, but I don't know if I can while I'm still so directly in her life. Maybe with some distance we can still keep in touch and talk about life and relationships without drama.
Sigh... I'm so frustrated. I can't sleep tonight.
I'll trade you situations... I lost custody of my son and became officially divorced tonight... and have to DJ a wedding in less than 12 hours... and no, I cannot sleep, either.
I'll trade you situations... I lost custody of my son and became officially divorced tonight... and have to DJ a wedding in less than 12 hours... and no, I cannot sleep, either.
Sure my stuff is insignificant compared to yours, but consider that I'm 23 and never been in anything close to your situation. Still what's going on is important to me.
Sure my stuff is insignificant compared to yours, but consider that I'm 23 and never been in anything close to your situation. Still what's going on is important to me.
You need distance and time away from this girl - quit hanging where she is, you are being a glutton for punishment and it's not healthy.
I'll trade you situations... I lost custody of my son and became officially divorced tonight... and have to DJ a wedding in less than 12 hours... and no, I cannot sleep, either.
Ted, what a crushing blow! I am soooo sorry to hear about this sad turn of events. Hopefully staying busy will help you. Best of luck.
OMG you're all whining for nothing.
Now consider MY situation : my so is a hoarder nutcase (it's very bad, 70% of my flat is full of items, and she locked the bedroom-I don't have access to my own bedroom) so I'm so fed up I told her to leave-and what did she do ? she left for a few days and then came her White Trash homeless daughter who told me she wanted to "help me sort out the mess her mother made"-she did WORSE! and as she is a psycho (was in the loony bin) I'm afraid that she can turn violent...now she doesn't want to leave my flat for 2 weeks (time for her to get a council flat). So right now my life is MISERABLE, I wanted to stay friend with my so after she leaves me, because after all she is not responsible of her condition and of her daughter's craziness, but I wonder if it wouldn't be more healthy for me to cut short all contact with her in the future...
OMG you're all whining for nothing.
Now consider MY situation : my so is a hoarder nutcase (it's very bad, 70% of my flat is full of items, and she locked the bedroom-I don't have access to my own bedroom) so I'm so fed up I told her to leave-and what did she do ? she left for a few days and then came her White Trash homeless daughter who told me she wanted to "help me sort out the mess her mother made"-she did WORSE! and as she is a psycho (was in the loony bin) I'm afraid that she can turn violent...now she doesn't want to leave my flat for 2 weeks (time for her to get a council flat). So right now my life is MISERABLE, I wanted to stay friend with my so after she leaves me, because after all she is not responsible of her condition and of her daughter's craziness, but I wonder if it wouldn't be more healthy for me to cut short all contact with her in the future...
When you play with fire you usually get burnt - knowing that this woman is certifiably mentally ill, I think you are better off hoping she forgets you when she moves on.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,007,791 times
Reputation: 9418
The only time I've ever done that--remain friends with an ex--is when I wanted more than friendship and stayed close just incase he changed his mind. But I was very young--your age, as a matter of fact, and now, the only time I'll want to remain friends with an ex is if I know it's really over for both of us. Otherwise, I keep my distance--in most cases. Of course, nothing's ever black and white in this world.
Bottom line, assess why you're remaining friends. Is it to be friends? Or is it because you're really hoping for more. If it's because you're hoping for more, this isn't the way to go about it.
If you still have those types of feelings you definitely need to distance yourself from her for a while until you are over it and then you can be friends who can be in each other's space.
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