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Hi there
well, meeting someone in person that i first begun speaking to online is something that i am curious about, but i have never looked into the specifics of making it work. Im beginning to think that it is not really for me- but im still interested to know about what it takes to make an online relationship work.
What does it take to make an online relationship work?
I would not call it an "Online relationship". This implies that you don't intend to meet the person.
If you're talking about how to meet someone via online dating - you send a few brief messages back and forth, then you ask if they'd like to meet up for coffee, or something public and non-sketchy.
Then when you meet them, you both agree on a good story to tell your friends "how you met," to spare both of you ridicule for online dating.
"Online relationship" implies having a relationship with someone exclusively or nearly exclusively online, with little real life interaction. That's very difficult with friendships, and, unless the friendship is already established (e.g., you were close to the person, THEN they moved), I'd say its pretty impossible to have a close friendship that is exclusively online. Thus, of course, I would say its impossible to have a romantic relationship online.
Let's face it - normal long distance relationships, where the two partners see each other in real life at least occasionally, are fraught with difficulty. Some work, but many fail, because the people only see each other when on vacation, when they are at their best, and oftentimes, once the distance closes and they see each other in "real life" it all falls apart. All these problems would be magnified in an online only relationship. So I don't see it working.
Now, if you mean online dating, that's a different story. When I use online dating, the very term "online dating" is a misnomer. "Online meeting" is more appropriate. My goal with online dating, once I get going with it, is to use it to meet someone I'd like to go on a date with, then get it offline AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. In my view, once you know you want to go on a date with the person, protracted online communications are generally a negative. Whatever your individual goals are romantically (sex, casual dating, long term relationship, or a combination), you AREN'T going to accomplish any of them online. It is better to switch to the real world and begin to get to know the person that way. The online dating service replaces the bar. Its purpose is to "get you the number." Nothing more.
What jahutch said is right on.
While I do believe you can develop a friendship and closeness on-line (as I have done this), there is no way to gauge true attraction and chemistry.
And being behind the computer also allows you to present yourself in a much more favorable and less realistic light.
So basically understand that it's only partially real. You would be filling in the missing pieces in your head - completely fabricated and perhaps not resembling reality whatsoever.
Do they really work? Very few cases where that happens, but when it does, theres a happy ending. Ive met friends in assorted areas (from other forums), at group get-togethers and we still keep in touch one way or other because there's always that 'one' misconception some can develop otherwise. You just gotta make sure everyone knows everyone's boundaries and stays on the same page, otherwise, even group get togethers can ends up unpleasant.
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