Is fiance worth marrying when he always complains about the kids, his stepkids? (boyfriend, man)
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He is a wonderful man when it comes to me. I feel he tolerates the kids just to be with me. I see no genuine love from him for them. Today I registered the boys into basket ball and he got upset because I did't discuss it with him first. Raging anger came out him because he feels he is put second and he always acts this way. The only communication between he and the boys 80% of the time is when he is correcting or yelling at them. And this entails if the sink isn't cleaned off good enough, if there is water left in the sink, if the chair isn't pushed all the way in after dinner, little stuff like that. However, he will spend money to take us to Disney, and on cruises in the same year. He feels like this shows his love, I feel that respect, patience, and actions show love.''
Please help me. Should I even continue with the wedding?
You are a group package whether he likes it or not--and he obviously doesn't like it. This is as good as it gets. His behavior isn't going to get any better. Is this the kind of home life you want for your children?
Your kids will always be your kids.
Your boyfriend may be around a week, a year and maybe not forever.
If he's treating your kids like crap now by yelling at them, etc., don't think it's going to change after the wedding.
Hopefully you have already talked to him about this and how you feel? If not, talk to him.
I think you already know the answer to this question. What I can't fathom is why you're still in this relationship. If he loved you, then he'd get along with your boys, or at least try a whole heck of a lot harder. Protect your children; you're all they've got!
He is a wonderful man when it comes to me. I feel he tolerates the kids just to be with me. I see no genuine love from him for them. Today I registered the boys into basket ball and he got upset because I did't discuss it with him first. Raging anger came out him because he feels he is put second and he always acts this way. The only communication between he and the boys 80% of the time is when he is correcting or yelling at them. And this entails if the sink isn't cleaned off good enough, if there is water left in the sink, if the chair isn't pushed all the way in after dinner, little stuff like that. However, he will spend money to take us to Disney, and on cruises in the same year. He feels like this shows his love, I feel that respect, patience, and actions show love.''
Please help me. Should I even continue with the wedding?
I would go to a counselor and sort this one out first. If this is how he is with the boys now, I wonder what he'll be like after he marries you.
He is a wonderful man when it comes to me. I feel he tolerates the kids just to be with me. I see no genuine love from him for them. Today I registered the boys into basket ball and he got upset because I did't discuss it with him first. Raging anger came out him because he feels he is put second and he always acts this way. The only communication between he and the boys 80% of the time is when he is correcting or yelling at them. And this entails if the sink isn't cleaned off good enough, if there is water left in the sink, if the chair isn't pushed all the way in after dinner, little stuff like that. However, he will spend money to take us to Disney, and on cruises in the same year. He feels like this shows his love, I feel that respect, patience, and actions show love.''
Please help me. Should I even continue with the wedding?
I would have drawn the line the first time he came unglued like that towards my kids. Kids are not perfect, nor should their chores be expected to be every single time. If theres no bond there, and he likes the idea of being in full control, no amount of money, vacation, trips or materialism is going to take the place of positive nurturing and upbringing. Too, the bond has to be mutual. My kids needs have always come first, to a reasonable extent, and if a guy had a problem with that, I would (and have) shown him where the door was.
What youre seeing now is just a small preview of what is to come. Nip it in the bud while youre ahead, before it destroys your whole family.
You love that he loves you. Understandable. But if he doesn't really care about your kids and he treats them like crap and you stay with him what kind of mother are you? How selfish is that? That you're even still with him after his behavior points to your having some serious issues that you need to look at. You're the adult, and you are entrusted to take care of your kids, first and foremost.
If you stay with him you are choosing a man over your own children. Plain and simple.
Do the right thing and protect your children by putting them first.
this anger is a red flag for me also however, on the other hand:
1. where is the biological father - is he involved? Could this be a factor?
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