games and not being so available (dating, child, call, divorced)
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Hello, I have started dating this great guy, things are going pretty well , (see other posts for more detail if you like) , but I am worried he is becoming bored with me. I made an effort when we first started dating not to play games with him, I call him back right away, call him if I feel like it (I do hold back on this sometimes to be honest),and tell him I always want to see him. , becasue this is true. We see eachother an average of 5 x a week, we have been dating about 6 weeks and we usually do spend the night together becasue I told him that I felt he didn't seem to care about that and that it was somewhat important to me. Immediately after saying this, he came over and spent the night so I feel like it is good to be honest with him and he seems to care about my needs. I understand he is not a mind reader so I try to speak my mind even if it is hard sometimes.
Anyways, this morning, I asked him if we would be doing anything tonight and he says "I haven't thought that far ahead" , we usually do get together on Sunday nights. So I said, "ok , call me and let me know, I don't want to push you or anything." At which time he turned it around and said "Ill probably head up to your house, assuming Im not playing video games (BTW we are in our 30s, not that that matters, I just divorced an alcoholic so video games are great to me), with the guys, but even if I am, I don't think it'll take that long, unless you want the time alone." (of course I said no to that and that I wanted to be with him.)
I am just thinking maybe he is getting bored with me already, should I continue to be honest about how I feel (which is I do want to be with him all the time, weather or not he has his child or weather or not we have sex.) Or should I pull back for my own protection and to maybe get better results as in someone who is more excited about spending time with me? Or am I making a problem out of nothing? Help, please.
Meh....No worries! Just enjoy his company, have fun, and maybe you could do something a little diffrent, for example, fix him his favorite dish, or curl up and watch a movie together. Mix it up.
Maybe all the time he's spent with you he started missing his friends a little. Don't think it to death, just take it one day at a time, no games, no strategies. Enjoy one another.
I don't think you've got a problem. I think it sounds like he's taking your feelings into consideration. Maybe he asked if you wanted some time alone because he wanted a little time to himself or to just hang out with the guys, but he didn't want to seem demanding or hurt your feelings.
Hello, I have started dating this great guy, things are going pretty well , (see other posts for more detail if you like) , but I am worried he is becoming bored with me. I made an effort when we first started dating not to play games with him, I call him back right away, call him if I feel like it (I do hold back on this sometimes to be honest),and tell him I always want to see him. , becasue this is true. We see eachother an average of 5 x a week, we have been dating about 6 weeks and we usually do spend the night together becasue I told him that I felt he didn't seem to care about that and that it was somewhat important to me. Immediately after saying this, he came over and spent the night so I feel like it is good to be honest with him and he seems to care about my needs. I understand he is not a mind reader so I try to speak my mind even if it is hard sometimes.
Anyways, this morning, I asked him if we would be doing anything tonight and he says "I haven't thought that far ahead" , we usually do get together on Sunday nights. So I said, "ok , call me and let me know, I don't want to push you or anything." At which time he turned it around and said "Ill probably head up to your house, assuming Im not playing video games (BTW we are in our 30s, not that that matters, I just divorced an alcoholic so video games are great to me), with the guys, but even if I am, I don't think it'll take that long, unless you want the time alone." (of course I said no to that and that I wanted to be with him.)
I am just thinking maybe he is getting bored with me already, should I continue to be honest about how I feel (which is I do want to be with him all the time, weather or not he has his child or weather or not we have sex.) Or should I pull back for my own protection and to maybe get better results as in someone who is more excited about spending time with me? Or am I making a problem out of nothing? Help, please.
If you are both okay with the direction and the speed that your relationship is going, great.
Personally, 6 weeks together is not a long time. Being together 5 times a week is a bit much. Questioning if he is getting bored with you already and wondering if you should find better results (someone who is more excited about spending time with you), when he is already spending that much time with you, is a bit much. Telling him that it's important that you spend the night together is one thing. Telling him it doesn't seem that "important" to him after only a few weeks is expecting a bit much. I think you both may be moving too quickly. These gigs that burn hot in the beginning tend to lose fuel after a while. Just my opinion.
I don't think you've got a problem. I think it sounds like he's taking your feelings into consideration. Maybe he asked if you wanted some time alone because he wanted a little time to himself or to just hang out with the guys, but he didn't want to seem demanding or hurt your feelings.
that's what I started thinking, that he wanted the time to himself., you know how people say or do to you what they'd like you to say or do to them, I think that is maybe how he is.
If you are both okay with the direction and the speed that your relationship is going, great.
Personally, 6 weeks together is not a long time. Being together 5 times a week is a bit much. Questioning if he is getting bored with you already and wondering if you should find better results (someone who is more excited about spending time with you), when he is already spending that much time with you, is a bit much. Telling him that it's important that you spend the night together is one thing. Telling him it doesn't seem that "important" to him after only a few weeks is expecting a bit much. I think you both may be moving too quickly. These gigs that burn hot in the beginning tend to lose fuel after a while. Just my opinion.
this is my concern, and this is why I thought maybe it would be better to slow down, like if he wants to see me 4x a week, then I should only see him 3x a week so he is more excited about the time we spend together- but then I thought this is too "game playing" and I don't want to not see him. (But it would be worse to have him tire of me.) I thought maybe I could be honest and say no, we don't need to hang out tonight since you seem to have stuff to do.........
your relationship should be fun! don't slide into such comfort that you forget about having fun with one another. be comfortable being apart and make it fun when you are together. you should always be honest with what you need, but you should not constant attention either
I thought maybe I could be honest and say no, we don't need to hang out tonight since you seem to have stuff to do.........
You say that you don`t want to "play games" but yet what is this statement? I mean, seriously, its not that big of a deal?
I think your making a mountain out of a mole hill here.
You say that you don`t want to "play games" but yet what is this statement? I mean, seriously, its not that big of a deal?
I think your making a mountain out of a mole hill here.
I guess. That is what Im saying, I don't want to play games, but I also don't want him to get bored with me and loose interest. I am thinking this may happen since Im always available.
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