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People don't usually recognize bitterness in themselves. They believe they are being honest realists. I don't think most people have the dispassion to accurately assess themselves in that way. It's like when you go skiing and wear blue goggles for a long time ... after a while, everything looks normal and you don't see the blue anymore. I suspect that many people forget they're wearing goggles at all.
I agree this would be the case for some of them. I really believe there are others who are purposely trying to disguise it. How is it, for example, that NAR, will point out:
Quote:
the disconnect between women taking responsible for their future and the actual situations they find themself in. It is 20 times easier to avoid men with bad habits than to correct them after you've committed.
and:
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Most men find this increasingly lame as they get older. This is especially true among men who have never been cut any slack. They see all these complaints and say, "That's not me. Why am I being dragged in?"
and not see how much this applies to everyone. I'm not buying it.
Point this out to them and there is either no response or word salad with extra cheese. The assertion is that there is no such thing as misogyny, just men who are fed up. Okay, I'll play along. What fuels this mild, non-misogynistic, thoughtful advice they give here? Is it what actually happened to them, once, twice? If so that's a pretty lame excuse to be "fed up". Three or four times, then personal responsibility and examination would apply, wouldn't it? Is it the rantings of the sheep, parroting what everyone else is saying because it's cool and the thing to do? A little of or all of the above?
It would be interesting to know the truth of what fuels it. What mom did, what the wife did, what dad did, what the hubby did, what the history actually is and not "because I said so".
We all got some bitterness in us when we've been through hell, some display it more than others. But it's about how you handle it and not let it cloud your judgement and treatment of others. We've all been wronged in life. Some take it worse than others, but what is certain is that we all have skewed opinion on the opposite sex now & again. We are humans and we sometimes let our emotions dictate us.
I've just given up on the opposite sex so I don't even think about them anymore. It's much easier this way.
I don't think I will ever get to that point, but I hate how people always ask me why I have not been with anyone for years and why I have never been married. I have been called bitter, because I do not see marriage as being the main key to happiness in life. I do not want marry just any woman, I want to truly know what I am getting into.
you know, there seems to be an assumption - not just on this forum, but across society - that if you have a problem with the way modern american women behave, that it must be a result of your own unattractiveness or mental weakness.
that may be true in many, or most cases. however, i've also observed a trend for many years: the men who are most desirable to women, are the most masculine, and also happen to be the biggest "closet misogynists." They simply keep it hidden, because there is no reward or benefit for expressing these controversial opinions to women, and there is a very, very steep risk: less sex, or in platonic cases, alienating a friend, sister, mother, etc. Women reward the man who builds them a fantasy, not the man who delivers this type of forthright honesty. But the stuff you hear in the locker room, for example, is just a less-thought-out version of the woman-hating that some men do on this forum. All that is different is the conclusion: the angry forum men give up, because they are unwilling to deal with the consequences of being undesirable; the stereotypical "attractive man" shrugs it off and "buries it", because he's getting the sexual results he craves.
so this assumption that misogyny is abnormal is false. every man in my family is a misogynist. most men i played football with were misogynist. most men in my college fraternity were misogynists, especially the ones who had the most sex, and including the ones who are "happily married" and having kids right now. most men in my workplace are misogynists. all these men know instinctively to keep their mouths shut "in public" for reasons i outlined earlier.
you know, there seems to be an assumption - not just on this forum, but across society - that if you have a problem with the way modern american women behave, that it must be a result of your own unattractiveness or weakness.
I agree with this, even though I am a foreigner many women in family(who live in America) hold this view as well. My attractiveness was never called into question, just my sexuality.
you know, there seems to be an assumption - not just on this forum, but across society - that if you have a problem with the way modern american women behave, that it must be a result of your own unattractiveness or mental weakness.
that may be true in many, or most cases. however, i've also observed a trend for many years: the men who are most desirable to women, are the most masculine, and also happen to be the biggest "closet misogynists." They simply keep it hidden, because there is no reward or benefit for expressing these controversial opinions to women, and there is a very, very steep risk: less sex, or in platonic cases, alienating a friend, sister, mother, etc. Women reward the man who builds them a fantasy, not the man who delivers this type of forthright honesty. But the stuff you hear in the locker room, for example, is just a less-thought-out version of the woman-hating that some men do on this forum. All that is different is the conclusion: the angry forum men give up, because they are unwilling to deal with the consequences of being undesirable; the stereotypical "attractive man" shrugs it off and "buries it", because he's getting the sexual results he craves.
so this assumption that misogyny is abnormal is false. every man in my family is a misogynist. most men i played football with were misogynist. most men in my college fraternity were misogynists, especially the ones who had the most sex, and including the ones who are "happily married" and having kids right now. most men in my workplace are misogynists. all these men know instinctively to keep their mouths shut "in public" for reasons i outlined earlier.
I thought his was thread about bitter men and women? Now it's about how most men are misogynists? Is this supposed to be news?
you know, there seems to be an assumption - not just on this forum, but across society - that if you have a problem with the way modern american women behave, that it must be a result of your own unattractiveness or weakness.
that may be true in many, or most cases. however, the men i know who are most desirable to women, also happen to be "closet misogynists." they simply keep it hidden, because there is no reward for expressing it to women, and there is a very, very steep risk (less sex, or in platonic cases, alienating a friend, sister, mother, etc).
Hi le roi,
Really I think it comes down to this with American women. Here are the assumptions:
1. American women are the only women in the world not oppressed.
2. If I don't prefer American women, I prefer oppressed women.
Its really quite brilliant in a way. Since any group of women may assume they are the ideal state, any desire for something else is an oppression. In that case, women who dislike a shirt that is not tucked and unkempt hair are guilty of misandry.
Though it is understandable to me because despite what anyone dreams otherwise, justice has nothing to do with it. Its just the sexual arms race.
Lets look at the American woman strategy.
Obtain financial and social independence.
Advantage: Women may select men without traditional encumbrance. The boy toy is a possibility which is nothing more than the hunt for the best genetics.
Disadvantage: Women must become competitive and gives rise to androgenous affectations and androgen hormones and that fatten them up. Thus their asset of attraction suffers. This leaves them even more vulnerable to the care free college girl who samples the boy toys unwittingly spending their own attractive capital.
Bear in mind this battle is being waged in the upper classes where all the noise really is.
The problem is American women are being hit on their flanks as they try to usurp the beauty selection role for themselves. So they are using a social defense. The American woman is beset with the problem of being unable to preen her feathers. Full time work means stress, fast food and having less time to consider attraction. Yet this is still more of a psychological problem for now since I don't see a huge movement in that direction. Its just on their radar and they don't like it. Men would be the same way. They are really suffering from the social mobility and access to younger women that the most desirable men have.
you know, there seems to be an assumption - not just on this forum, but across society - that if you have a problem with the way modern american women behave, that it must be a result of your own unattractiveness or mental weakness.
I think there's more of a problem with the assumption that all American women (or men) behave the same way.
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