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I recently ran across my Ex on Myspace and said hey and he started talknig like no time had passed. We were always cool and the chemistry was always right.
We broke up years ago over a silly misunderstanding long since rectified and realized too late had we just communicated that we never would have broken up at all.
Anyways I'm happily married now, got kids, a house, a garden. The whole deal. Anyways in an email she told be she never really had gotten over me and was still crushing on me. Made me feel wierd.
I still like her, too, we DID date at one time, so that attraction will always be there but I can't and won't ever do anything about it. It just gave me guilty feelings.
I'm still very much in love with my spouse and would never jeopardize what we have btw.
Anyone ever had a similar experience? Running into an Ex and finding you still had chemistry you couldn't act on?
Kinda frustrating in my case because we actually made a good couple and would have still been together (I'm almost positive) after all these years. Its like a part of my like I can't redo. And had we just talked earlier then both of our lives would have been very different.
This is common with any relationship that ended amicably enough for you not to hate one another. In most cases memory brings back the good memories before the bad, so you picture all the special moments you shared and all the good things that brought you two together instead of the things that drove the two of you apart.
In a lot of ways I think memory of a former GF is like a dream, its always almost perfect. You dream of the good times but if you actually see this person again the dream is over and there is reality. Reality will bring to mind all the things that drove the two of you apart.
The past always looks better with the passage of time. Also, people change as they get older and have more experiences in life. You may still have enough chemistry between the two of you to give you one heck of a great weekend or a hot vacation on some gorgeous island, but what about when the reality of paying bills, cleaning the house, doing laundry and dealing with in-laws sets in? Would you still be on the same page? Doubtful. Since she confessed to still having feelings for you, I think you need to politely end your communication with her. You're playing with fire if you don't.
Yes, it happens. I'm a woman, and I find it easier not to get too friendly with male friends or ex boyfriends that are married. You've said your hello, done your catching up, now move along.
I'm always going to feel love for every one of my exes. In most cases, they were the ones to break it off--not me. But to "stop" loving them, would--for me, anyhow--make my love a lie. It makes me sad to know it didn't work out very well.
Take, for example, my first girlfriend. She left me when I went to join the Navy and sail the world. It tore me up--at the time. And she was my first in a lot of ways, and I never opened up to anyone else like I had her. Now we're living totally different lives, but we live, eh, probably less than 30 miles apart. I saw her last year, and the feelings for her, from my side anyhow, were still there.
Kinda frustrating in my case because we actually made a good couple and would have still been together (I'm almost positive) after all these years. Its like a part of my like I can't redo. And had we just talked earlier then both of our lives would have been very different.
If you would have still been together, you'd still be together and not talking about "what if".
It would be easy to just stop communicating with them. Sometimes I feel like they are my only friend. The only person I can say whatever I want to without any fear of recourse or judgement. Married people will know this, but you can't always tell your spouse everything nor be 100% honest. Thats what friends are for. So this person is kinda like my only real friend right now. I'm just stuck in the house most of the time caring for and homeschooling my disabled kids 24/7.
It would be wisest to cut them off. I know, but its too easy to talk to them and vent about stuff or joke about things I can't with my family members. With my family of talkers, I'm even lucky to finish a complete sentence assuming I even get a word in edgewise. This gives me someone to talk to that I knew.
My spouse just talks about work junk, and my kids just talk about cartoons and video games. I got no friends in real life, so she was a former friend and seems willing to still be that. She's 3000 miles away, so I think I'm safe. She's got a family, too, but she was wary about telling me about her crush. It made me feel awkward, but I didn't have the heart to just cut her off even though I know I probly should. Like the other poster said, wesaid hi, got caught up, move on, but I can't do it. Need to have someone I'm not related to to talk to.
An ex of my wife recently found her on myspace of course, she communicated with him, she never mentioned it to me at least for common courtesy. I found out and that's where the problems started between me and her, why? becasue there was no honesty.
We came ---> <--- this close from getting a divorce but we are trying to work things out.
My advice is stop communicating with your ex, be honest with your husband and focus on the present, not the past.
Jackie, run the other way. Don't look back, except with fondness. You have too much in this life to 'mess it up.'
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