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Words of knowledge and wisdom; Take heed from the "Old School [COLOR=[/color]
[COLOR=[/color]some of us have seen more of this more times than we care to mention[/color]
[COLOR=[/color]Your Sister sounds like she's looking out for your best interest, out of love[/color][/b] Take it slower, find out more about her than you know now, she just may be the ideal mate for you in the long run, but you won't know if you rush; I know it can be hard to do.
No doubt. Appreciate that. Believe me, I'm in no rush, and I've made that clear to her. She's okay with it too.
I know my sister loves me- and I love her for it. But I know what I need. LOL. It's not someone as driven as I am.
Thanks. It's less of status but more of making sure the girl has something to bring to the table, and for most people the most tangible way to do this is in a bank account. That's not always the case.
And yes, I do have a very keen awareness of myself, and since I've been dating her I've had even more discoveries. I'm not one of those guys easily won over with a big butt and a smile.
Thanks
Well go for it then'
sounds as though you've touched most of the bases that make for a
good relationship, I posted before I read this reply
I personally think you are settling when you've decided yo stay with someone you are not happy with period.
I don't think the checklists matter, what perceived status levels people put you on etc. If you've found someone that makes you happy, you have not settled. When you are with someone that doesn't make you happy but you've chosen not to look any further: settling.
Going back to not settling for what you "deserve". I think the deserve part is so subjective as people can see that so differently.
For instance, I feel I deserve a man that totally adores me (which is what I got). But I have friends who may think since I have a high level of education or pulled in a higher salary I deserve a man that brings the same. Or that if I dress a certain way, I deserve a man that does the same. Our our ideas of what I deserve are different. But some may think I'm settling.
But really its my call since I know exactly how he fulfills my relationship wishes. So the OP's sister may think he deserves more based on superficial things. But only the OP can decide based on his own criteria.
No one is perfect, and I don't think anyone will ever possess everything another person wants. But settling means you are accepting of things you are truly against, making concessions that take from you or your quality of life - where it feels like a huge sacrifice instead of compromise.
No one is perfect, and I don't think anyone will ever possess everything another person wants. But settling means you are accepting of things you are truly against, making concessions that take from you or your quality of life - where it feels like a huge sacrifice instead of compromise.
I agree with this. You are not settling if you are getting what you want/need.
My sister tells me this, even as I seriously date my girlfriend. She feels that in a sense I'm settling. I haven't put a ring on her finger yet, but I see it happening in the near future (My head is moving faster than my heart- if that makes sense). It's her stance in this whole relationship thing.
When does one settle?
And could one who refuses to settle be considered looking for a perceived 'perfection'?
Why isn't a person who is settling a person who's come to a realization that they've met someone who may not fulfill every item on their checklist, but they have many of them, and the rest they can live without?
This is for discussion only! I don't feel I'm settling btw; as I get to know my girl I find that there are some things about her that I actually need that I hadn't considered in the past, and that's what I'm most intrigued about. I love her.
Hm..if "you" feel that you are settling, then it's a good idea to slow down and take a good look at "your own" desires. If someone that genuinely cares about you feels you are settling, it's a good idea to find out from them why they think you are settling.
It's good that you dont feel like you are settling..cause something would be wrong if you thought so. Honestly, no one person can fulfill your every desire, and if someone expects that, they will be disappointed all their lives.
I think the whole idea of "settling" is something that ppl made up as a excuse for them being unhappy with their own lives. It's bogus if you ask me. If two ppl truly love each other, there is no such thing as settling, because it implies that one person is better than or more than the other, and this simply "cannot be" in a true love relationship.
Maybe your sister sees something that you dont...and eshes your sis, I'd ask her why she says that...but at the same time...remember ...all that glitters is not gold. (my opinion).
If your relationship is everything you want from a relationship (or most, and you don't care that you don't "have" the rest), and you are not just sticking with this relationship because you are tired of waiting, or don't think you can find someone else, then I would not say you are settling.
This right here.
Settling is when you give up on finding someone you're in love with, compatible with, and attracted to & just commit to whoever you are with so you are not alone.
Some people think settling is marrying someone not as good looking, intelligent, and/or successful as they may feel you are you, or they feel you deserve. However, they are looking at things from the outside & often with a friend/family bias, and what matters is how you feel about the other person.
I don't feel I'm settling btw; as I get to know my girl I find that there are some things about her that I actually need that I hadn't considered in the past, and that's what I'm most intrigued about. I love her.
then you're not
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