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I make friends with women with no problem, but when it comes to expressing interest/attraction I have no idea what I'm doing.
I grew up thinking flirting was something sleazy and wrong to do, so I never did it. I'm starting to realize being a total gentleman, not being so assertive and and being overly cautious about making a move is nice but not exactly attractive (I've had my fair share of platonic friends tell me to cut this out if I want to start dating successfully), so I really want to change my approach and be less far less apprehensive about it too. I'm an attractive person, but I can't expect people to approach me if I cant do the same myself.
When I talk to women, I usually find myself yammering, talking too much about myself, or hitting awkward pauses when trying to keep the conversation going. I usually get so nervous and afraid...I just end the conversation prematurely.
Complimenting
Play Teasing
Joking
Expressing interest in who they are as a person
Being close
Long eye contact
Basically showing that you really like talking to them, and like being around them. It's really not too much different that talking to people, which is why it is so easy for people to confuse flirting with someone who is just being nice to them. It's really not that difficult to flirt. When talking to a person try to avoid talking about yourself as much as possible unless they ask you a question about yourself. Keep it light, if you see something that catches your eye on her, compliment her. Make each other feel comfortable. Talk about anything, weather, sports, travel, the world. Anything. Find common ground.
If it is a stranger (no conversation with them yet) then I smile and orbit.
If we have already broken the ice with a conversation starter (hello, joke, situational comment), then it is using basic small talk with smiles and eye contact.
If the conversation has been longer and there is good rapport, then it moves into subtle physical contact, like emphasizing a point with a shoulder or upper arm touch!
But lots of good info and suggestions in the thread!
In my view as far as I know, it can mislead at times, may be many times.
Especially if the person initiating the flirting is already in a relationship or married. And it can get awkward. What if your flirting sends "come hither" messages, but after talking to the person, you realize they're not for you? How do you go from "come hither" to "go away" in the space of a few minutes?
I make friends with women with no problem, but when it comes to expressing interest/attraction I have no idea what I'm doing.
Any advice?
Why I do feel that you have a obligation to flirt here?
In my view flirting is not required at all. I never flirt and I never will. I consider flirting as cheap.
That's just my view.
It's your choice anyway.It's your life
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