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I dated a woman I work with for the last 7 months. Everything was great then I could just feel things changing on her part. To confirm this she told me last week we should break up. I still care greatly for her though but seem to have a need to eliminate her(as well as many in the past) from my life all together. Don't want to know or see what she is doing, don't to talk her or even think about her. We were intimate 5 times since we have broken up 7 days ago Why can't I just accept things as what they are? things were great, they aren't as great anymore it is what it is and move on without eliminating her from every aspect of my life. I don't wanna think about her cuz it gets me thinking and causes me pain and feelings of worthlessness like I was good enough? Is this unhealthy ? I don't wanna ruin my friendship with her but I dont wanna see her and be reminded that I was ultimately rejected. I am not unwanted by others, I have many opportunities to date/have sex with numerous other women, but dont wanna see anyone else becuz I am holding on to hope of getting back together....... How F'd up am I mentally to be thinking this way? Thoughts anyone????
Those feelings are all normal for someone that realizes they have lost someone they love. But how is it that you "broke up" 7 days ago and have had sex 5 times since then? Do you live together? Are you having sex at work? Is she calling you to get together? Whatever it is, you need to stop seeing her if you are ever going to be able to move on. I don't think "eliminate from my life" is necessary, but you need to stop being with her. Period.
I dated a woman I work with for the last 7 months. Everything was great then I could just feel things changing on her part. To confirm this she told me last week we should break up. I still care greatly for her though but seem to have a need to eliminate her(as well as many in the past) from my life all together. Don't want to know or see what she is doing, don't to talk her or even think about her. We were intimate 5 times since we have broken up 7 days ago Why can't I just accept things as what they are? things were great, they aren't as great anymore it is what it is and move on without eliminating her from every aspect of my life. I don't wanna think about her cuz it gets me thinking and causes me pain and feelings of worthlessness like I was good enough? Is this unhealthy ? I don't wanna ruin my friendship with her but I dont wanna see her and be reminded that I was ultimately rejected. I am not unwanted by others, I have many opportunities to date/have sex with numerous other women, but dont wanna see anyone else becuz I am holding on to hope of getting back together....... How F'd up am I mentally to be thinking this way? Thoughts anyone????
You two broke up but still had sex 5 times after.
Not cherry picking but this may be part of the issue.
Seems to have developed into a sexual thing with you wanting more.
To completely eliminate her it would be wise to first stop having sex with her.
And focus on activities that you enjoy or adopt new hobbies to get your mind on something else.
Maybe spend time with family and friends as well.
To get over someone takes time.
And the amount of time depends on the person.
hopefully , eventually the attraction will wear off to the point you can deal with it as just a memory.
Your ego is talking. You already acknowledge that it just didn't work out, why not just accept that? I know what it feels like to be hurt. No need to make it worse by making an enemy out of someone.
I think you need to give yourself time to get past this and heal. There is nothing that says you have to be buddies now. And if you have no worries about finding someone else, you are obviously not lacking. So, why let this incident define you and hold it against her forever?
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Is she calling you to get together? Whatever it is, you need to stop seeing her if you are ever going to be able to move on. I don't think "eliminate from my life" is necessary, but you need to stop being with her. Period.
