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I can't help but laugh. A person who lives in a MANUFACTURED HOME
Most of us did not say anything about the manufactured home.
Quote:
They're too easy to abuse and I'm happy to shop and pay cash for what I want.
If YOU are prone to abusing them, that's YOUR problem. Other people, even those who don't use them on a regular basis, at least have some access to money when needed. Not that I advocate not having savings for these purposes, but it's still better than nothing. I would agree, though, that a date does not constitute an emergency.
Hypothetical situation/question. Does not relate to me in any way. Just curious on your thoughts because a friend of mine encountered a situation similar to this recently.
A man the age of 39 years old is interested in you. You work hard and are financially stable and have a nice place. The man works but is not as financially stable - lives in a trailer home - lives paycheck to paycheck. But he seems sweet. He would like to go out with you and asks you out on a Tuesday for a Saturday night and adds, "because that's after he gets paid and will have the money to take you out after it clears the bank after a deposit on Friday." The man refuses to allow you to pay for anything - he is not the go dutch type.
- Your thoughts on a man that says to to you?
- Are you turned off by him after he says this to you?
- Any other thoughts welcomed.
Sure guys, chime in. I know you wanna!
I wait every payday for my wifes check to clear so she take me out to eat, so no it doesn't bother me at all...(;>)
Well, so far, the O.P. hasn't provided a backstory of this man recently falling on hard times. And I'm all for living a simpler lifestyle, cutting up the credit cards and not spending money on luxuries. However, while I would respect someone living a restrained lifestyle and putting the extra paycheck money away in a savings account, I'm not down with a man that is getting paid minimum wage (or close to it), living in a trailer home and surviving paycheck to paycheck.
This man reminds me of my ex hubbie and his family... being content to live their whole lives in a shared cheap rental, living paycheck to paycheck and no desire to build equity in themselves, no plans for retirement.
Frankly, I'd rather take a chance on the honest guy in the simple home. You can build a life and move up with someone like that, which, IMO, is FAR preferable to "having it all" and then losing it all.
He may be honest, but where do you see that he has the potential to actually be a financially contributing member in a relationship? How many women can afford to have a stay at home husband? How many women would actually want a stay at home husband anyway? Why not hire a maid? It would be far cheaper and there would be any potential male pride issues.
Would a man like this eventually hold you back? If he is living paycheck to paycheck at his age (not paying child support) - you really won't have nice vacations together eventually or to go to nice places (he's basically maxxed on his money making potential), so maybe YOU would most likely have to pay for a vacation or getaway if you wanted one together since all his extra funds go into inexpensive dates to take you out and his bills. . . and if you want kids one day, you survive if you have to leave your job for a while and live on his very limited income - IF things worked out. I believe she said what he pays on his trailer rental land (is that right, I have no idea, I don't live in one) - is $400 or 500/mo - and he is still struggling/broke.
So while "Respect - Honesty - and Confidence" are becoming traits in a man. . . at what point to financial situations come into play and start affecting how you see this man before you start feeling like you will have to carry him so you do not feel like you are missing out on things you like to do and enjoy?\
Myself - I am stable and have to date a financial equal or someone that exceeds mine.
"(he's basically maxxed on his money making potential)"
I can't help but laugh. A person who lives in a MANUFACTURED HOME (sorry, but there's no such thing as a "trailer home," unless he's living in a camper hitched to a pickup truck), is working, is polite, respectful and upfront about his finances is a loser in most of your eyes?
Um, he's actually living within his means and in no way does it mean that he won't get a better job in the future. But you people WILL immediately accept someone who appears to have all of the trappings -- a high-paying job, beautiful car and home? That person could have a mountain of debt, be involved in shady business practices, etc. I especially had to laugh when I read the comment about the average guy not even having a credit card! Horrors! (I don't keep one, either. They're too easy to abuse and I'm happy to shop and pay cash for what I want.)
Haven't Americans woken up at all in the past year and read enough horror stories about people who supposedly were living the good life but lost everything?
Frankly, I'd rather take a chance on the honest guy in the simple home. You can build a life and move up with someone like that, which, IMO, is FAR preferable to "having it all" and then losing it all.
I completely agree here.
Also what if this guy in the past had gotten sick and didn't have good or any medical insurance, something like that happens and people can literally go broke. Clean out savings, the whole nine yards.
I think we as a culture have gotten a little to materialist.
Conversely though, I would think that the guy should have at least one credit card and a little money in the bank to at least cover him until his check clears.
I can't help but laugh. A person who lives in a MANUFACTURED HOME (sorry, but there's no such thing as a "trailer home," unless he's living in a camper hitched to a pickup truck)..."
Yes there is. By a quick search, people here in FL seems to use the term "trailer home" interchangeably with "mobile home." They may not where you live, but they do here - and in other areas in the country:
He would perhaps be friend material, but never boyfriend material. Unless he turns his life around on his own, there's no way I'm investing my time with him as his girlfriend. Why would I want to spend the rest of my time and grow old with a man that lives in a trailer and lives paycheck to paycheck? What if I want to travel to Europe with a companion? I'd have to pay for his airfare and lodgings... or just not go at all. Either way is a huge compromise in my relationship ideals. I have no interest in being the breadwinner in a relationship with a man like that.... no matter how great a person he is. He could look like Brad Pitt, and I still wouldn't date him.
There is something terribly wrong with an adult man being almost 40 years old and living paycheck to paycheck in a trailer home. What's he going to do when he gets to be in his golden years?
And is it alright to assume that he doesn't have a secret million dollars stashed away in his mattress? That he lives super frugally and is a chronic saver? Even so, I don't want to be with a guy that uptight about money.
On the other hand, put one of those cute and cuddly looking Walgreen chicks in a trailer home as she lives paycheck to paycheck, and .Ron would still consider dating her.
"He would perhaps be friend material, but never boyfriend material."
So you are saying you can be bought? What's your going price?
He may be honest, but where do you see that he has the potential to actually be a financially contributing member in a relationship? How many women can afford to have a stay at home husband? How many women would actually want a stay at home husband anyway? Why not hire a maid? It would be far cheaper and there would be any potential male pride issues.
Wait a minute...how on Earth have you made a huge leap to this guy being a "stay-at-home husband????" He's WORKING.
Where do I see his potential? I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt based on typical experiences. Clearly, he has a job and he's 39 -- chances are, he'll get raises and, as he gets more work experience, promotions or better job offers over time. There is nothing in the OP to indicate he's lazy or wants a woman to support him financially.
I'm being realistic. Y'all are making hay out of his comment that he wants to wait to take her out until after he gets paid. That could mean many things, and not all of them negative as many here are asserting.
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