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Ameribull: There is a problem with subjective experiences, and it should be obvious: for every little thing that you are saying women are "likely" to do to men, someone can use their subjective views to indicate all the ways in which men hurt women. For example:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ameribull
: If your a married guy now look at the house you live in and the bed you sleep in. There is a good chance that in the future some other guy will be living there and sleeping there. If you are a married girl now, look at the house you live in and the bed you sleep in. There is a good chance that in the future your husband will have a much better house and much better furniture, but you won't.
: If your a married guy there is a good chance that the next man your wife sleeps with is someone that you already know in some way. If "your" a married girl, there is a good chance that the next woman your husband sleeps with is a total stranger. Which doesn't make it any better than if she was someone you knew.
: As your enjoying experiences with your kids its likely that another man will be having the same experiences with them some day. As you are enjoying being a mother, it's likely your kids will like the second wife better. The visitation weekends will be times of fun and games, staying up late, and being pampered. You, on the other hand, will occupy the position of the weekday "bad cop" and the monster, who has to tell the kids to do their homework and clean up their rooms, and that no, you don't have enough money to take them to Disneyland. And when that happens, you are guaranteed to hear: "But Janice always lets us watch TV! I wish SHE was our mom!"
: Whatever your take home pay is now subtract 25 - 40%. Learn to live off of that. Whatever your expenses are now, expect them to double. Learn to live with that.
: Start working out cuz there is a realistic chance that you may go to jail someday. Start working out cuz there is a realistic chance you may become a punching bag someday.
: When your having a romantic night with your SO her love for you is prob at an 8 - 10. When shes out with the girls its a 3 at best. They don't say "bros before hos" for no reason. Your SO will gladly throw you under the bus just so that his friends don't call him a "sissy" or a "mangina".
: Your SO has some kind of secret little crush on another guy. Not that she will cheat but she is crushin. A guy at work or one of your friends maybe. Your SO has a hard-on for every woman that's not you between the ages of 12 and 60. Not that he will cheat, but he likes to fantasize.
Oh, and the usual disclaimer: And I do not mean to generalize. Every marriage and couple are unique. Blah, blah, blah, I don't mean what I'm saying, though I'm saying it, blah, blah.
See how easy it is? I suppose this is where you start telling me how none of the things I've written apply to you, or your relatives, or any of the men you know. But you see, AB, every man who comes on this board complaining about marriage and divorce claims he is a perfect husband, a model father, and an all-around great guy, and it's the women who are cruel and evil. The reality, however, isn't so black and white. There are plenty of men who are mean, cruel, violent, dishonest and sleazy, and plenty of them get away with it. Almost none of those things is held as a virtue in a man, but narcissism is applauded and encouraged -- and this leads some men to treat wives and children as disposable means to an end.
Now, this was done merely for purposes of illustration, and is not meant to be taken as my assessment of an entire gender. Because people react to negative experiences more strongly than to positive experiences, negative experiences stick more in their minds. We tend to equate them with the norm simply because they overshadow everything else. And this is important to remember when one is tempted to make sweeping generalizations -- because believe it or not, spreading incorrect ideas about the general state of things actually hurts real people in very real ways. That's why I like to rely on relevant statistics in verifiable studies; I simply prefer tested facts and sweet reason to conjecture and excessive emotion. But that's just me.
If you have never read the book, “Taken into Custody†by Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D, you should. It will make you realize how many of men’s basic freedoms have already been stripped from them in this country and how dangerous marriage can be for a man.
Every husband, single guy thinking about marriage, or father who loves his son should read this book. A friend told me about it and I was almost physically ill after reading it. Please, share it with as many guys as you can. The more guys that are informed, maybe we can make changes.
Here’s a little of a summary in the author's own words from a news article:
“And yet I cannot, in good conscience, urge young men to marry today. For many men (and some women), marriage has become nothing less than a one-way ticket to jail. Even the New York Times has reported on how easily “the divorce court leads to a jail cell,†mostly for men. In fact, if I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today it is this: Do not marry and do not have children.
First, you do not have to agree to the divorce or commit any legal transgression. Under “no-fault†divorce laws, your spouse can divorce you unilaterally without giving any reasons. The judge will then grant the divorce automatically without any questions.
But further, not only does your spouse incur no penalty for breaking faith; she can actually profit enormously. Simply by filing for divorce, your spouse can take everything you have, also without giving any reasons. First, she will almost certainly get automatic and sole custody of your children and exclude you from them, without having to show that you have done anything wrong. Then any unauthorized contact with your children is a crime. Yes, for seeing your own children you will be subject to arrest.
There is no burden of proof on the court to justify why they are seizing control of your children and allowing your spouse to forcibly keep you from them. The burden of proof (and the financial burden) is on you to show why you should be allowed to see your children.
The divorce industry thus makes it very attractive for your spouse to divorce you and take your children. (All this earns money for lawyers whose bar associations control the careers of judges.) While property divisions and spousal support certainly favor women, the largest windfall comes through the children. With custody, she can then demand “child support†that may amount to half, two-thirds, or more of your income. (The amount is set by committees consisting of feminists, lawyers, and enforcement agents – all of whom have a vested interest in setting the payments as high as possible.) She may spend it however she wishes. You pay the taxes on it, but she gets the tax deduction.
You could easily be left with monthly income of a few hundreds dollars and be forced to move in with relatives or sleep in your car. Once you have sold everything you own, borrowed from relatives, and maximized your credit cards, they then call you a “deadbeat dad†and take you away in handcuffs. You are told you have “abandoned†your children and incarcerated without trial.
Evidence indicates that, as men discover all this, they have already begun an impromptu marriage "strike": refusing to marry or start families, knowing they can be criminalized if their wife files for divorce. In Britain, fathers tour university campuses warning young men not to start families. In his book, From Courtship to Courtroom, Attorney Jed Abraham concludes that the only protection for men to avoid losing their children and everything else is not to start families in the first place.â€
By Stephen Baskerville, Ph.D
Sad but oh so true, I'm the New wife and thought no way now I live with it andthe EX everyday her attorney wants all my bank records and I wasn't even married to him at the time they got the court order for the maryland judge granted the order and we live in florida.... THE ROCKVILLE COURT TREAT THE SON LIKE HE WAS A MATERIAL ASSET like the silver and china aquired durring the marraige and he has not been seen for 6 years he turns 18 in december so perhaps maybe then. but he is used as a tool to facilate income for his mom....I did not do this to my ex-husband and to date he is very much a part of our new life as well as his new girlfriend we are the new american family divorce without war or hate but I must agree some states capitalize on divorce and maryland men should move....... crooked courts and judges. imune from prosecution.... child support never late and on time not by a court order but out of love and the right thing to do. she filed a false claim to court trying to have him arrested for child support arreage... we had to fly to maryland to prove her wrong dam judge yelled at her and appoligized to us and her attorney staged the whole thing sucks but over soon... and yes when you look at the tree old women sitting at denny's on a friday night no smile and looking sad remember they are part of the ex- wifes club.....
dying alone and miserable.......
Equal rights in the divorce court? Wishful thinking.
Equal rights in the sense that everyone gets screwed.
Except the lawyers, of course.
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