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Bear with me on this one folks and please feel free to chime in.
The low down.....
I'm 23 and she is 20.
We where official for about 5 weeks until June 23rd when she left for 7.5 weeks because of work. Her return date is this Saturday.
Originally she was going to go straight back to school after the 7.5 weeks which is a 5hr drive from our home town. But because we had established a relationship she would instead return home for a week to spend time with me before she goes off to school.
Now my problem.....
Everything up until last week was fine. We would speak on the phone every 2nd-3rd day and exchange text messages almost on a daily basis. They ranged from random jokes to thoughtful and meaningful conversations. You’re normal day to day BF/GF chatter.
Then at one point last week we had scheduled some time to talk on the phone later in the night. She was up until 1am and I had a concert to go to so we would have some time around midnight to speak. As soon as that conversation started I could tell she sounded distant (my intuition). She had mentioned immediately that her day was very long and would like to talk in the next day or two. She specifically mentioned that she would call.
No big deal right? Her exhaustion is understandable because she works at a camp with younger children as counselor. We said goodnight and ended the convo. Once I put the phone down I could sense trouble though. She just sounded very disconnected which had me concerned but I remained positive.
1 day passed, a 2nd and then a 3rd with no texts or phone calls. At this point I was running every scenario in my head and fairly disappointed. I proceeded to send her a text asking if she was feeling better and how everything was at camp? A few texts followed back and forth. Hers where short and to the point, sometimes one word answers. This was unlike her and I couldn't help but feel like she was tuning me out. All of this transpired on Friday night.
Sat morning she left for a 4 day canoe/portaging trip with the youngins which means no contact. This gave me a lot of time to think about the situation and I had hoped that when she returned from the trip (yesterday) she would contact me. No luck though. So since Friday night we haven’t spoken at all.
So now here I sit wondering what in the world happened. She pulled a complete 180 on me without warning and I am so confused. Everything was flowing so smoothly.
My current plan at this point is to wait it out until Friday and if she doesn't reach me I will ask her what's going on and if she still plans on meeting on Saturday because I sure as heck do. IS it possible that 7 weeks of phone/texts just frustrated her and she needed a break? That's possible but why tune me out?
Two things bother me about this.
#1. It's never easy ending a relationship with a person you have strong feelings for. But this I can deal with and take it as a learning/growing experience. Nothing wrong here.
#2 The lack of communication is what gets me most. If she is getting cold feet and wanting to back out why the heck not let me know? We are adults and not high school kids. There are two people involved and if she feels this way then I think I deserve to know don't you? But instead I'm sitting with my thumb up my butt racking my brain a mile a minute.
My career consists of freelance work and I can’t even plan my next week because of this which is causing more stress. Our original plan was to go to Montreal for a few days upon her return but who knows what will happen now?
I’d classify myself above average when it comes to being emotional for a man. I can’t adopt the (it’s just another girl and there are plenty more fish in the sea) mentality. It’s just not me and I really like this girl. Therefore I’m having a hard time dealing with this at the moment.
For those of you who have read threw my post, thank you
What would you do in this situation? Call on Friday/Saturday? Or just wait for her to contact me? And what if she doesn't? What then?
I'm doing my best to remain positive but the realism of the situation is overwhelming. I don't know how just yet but somehow I will need closure. And never talking again would just be juvenile.
Well, it's reasonable to ask if you two are still on for Montreal.
If she says, no, then you've got your answer right there.
I hate to break it to you, but she's probably become interested in another guy. After all, you only dated a little more than a month when she went to camp. So she probably met a counselor who was also there all summer, and the two have probably been enjoying the romantic setting of the woods.. Over time they started talking more until, one night, the magic happened. Now, she's trying to figure out what to do with you by using the age-old trick of avoidance.
I'm sorry. But I can almost guarantee that's what happened.
You can start with calling her to find out what her plans are as your work schecule depends on what the two of you are doing (or not doing). Hopefully this will turn into an opportunity for some dialogue about the current state of your relationship. I would not wait....it could come back to bite you and she could say that you were not "interested" in communicating with her either. Don't go down that road. Take charge of the situation and go from there. Good luck!
Well, it's reasonable to ask if you two are still on for Montreal.
If she says, no, then you've got your answer right there.
I hate to break it to you, but she's probably become interested in another guy. After all, you only dated a little more than a month when she went to camp. So she probably met a counselor who was also there all summer, and the two have probably been enjoying the romantic setting of the woods.. Over time they started talking more until, one night, the magic happened. Now, she's trying to figure out what to do with you by using the age-old trick of avoidance.
I'm sorry. But I can almost guarantee that's what happened.
Agree with everything except for making initial contact with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita
You can start with calling her to find out what her plans are as your work schecule depends on what the two of you are doing (or not doing). Hopefully this will turn into an opportunity for some dialogue about the current state of your relationship. I would not wait....it could come back to bite you and she could say that you were not "interested" in communicating with her either. Don't go down that road. Take charge of the situation and go from there. Good luck!
If you take this advice, you can almost guarantee it's over; however you'll find out out it's over quickly...Waiting gives her a chance to miss you. If that's enough to get back together is a different stories. I think you already need to move on based on the limited info you gave me.
Wait for her to call, if she doesn't then start moving on. Don't sit around waiting either. Spend time with friends and keep your social calendar busy. Chasing her is making it too easy for her.
Well, it's reasonable to ask if you two are still on for Montreal.
If she says, no, then you've got your answer right there.
I hate to break it to you, but she's probably become interested in another guy. After all, you only dated a little more than a month when she went to camp. So she probably met a counselor who was also there all summer, and the two have probably been enjoying the romantic setting of the woods.. Over time they started talking more until, one night, the magic happened. Now, she's trying to figure out what to do with you by using the age-old trick of avoidance.
I'm sorry. But I can almost guarantee that's what happened.
I was going to answer but cpg took my words.
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Take charge of the situation and go from there. Good luck!
