talking about marriage (girls, single, husband, couple)

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by sydney1987

Yea just talk about marriage with a girl and then turn into a chicken when she starts to get "ideas" from it.

Don't talk about it and lead someone on unless you're serious.

Do whatever works for you.

[Anneee]

I think these are very individual choices. Some people should never talk about marriage and others, maybe people who've been friends a long time before dating, can discuss the possibility early on. And not every woman wants the formal proposal, the down on one knee kind of thing ---I know I wouldn't; too formal for me. But I think that's the point, that each engagement should be unique to the people involved.

[loose cannon]

If a woman is crazy enough to be with me for 6 months we will be married quickly thereafter.

[Rei_h]

Nice

[UnexpectedError]

I think at about the one year mark, you need to know if the relationship is leading to marriage or else it's time to end things. At least if you're over 25 and plan on marrying eventually. But if you've been together for that long and don't plan on going the distance, why bother dragging things on?

[lottamoxie]

Talk is cheap and sets up an expectation that may not be met.

Don't talk marriage until you are getting ready to propose.

[Jdawg8181]

I think it depends... I'm 30 and I have been with my bf for a year and a half and have kwnon him for 17 years.... so I talk about marriage to him alot... and @ my age I don't think that's wrong... but he doesn't want to hear any of it.

In my mind, I just want to know if it is going to happen sometime soon otherwise I don't want to waste my time.

I think women just want to know if it is going to happen so that if the guy has no interest in it ever, we can leave. I have spent too many time in relationships where the man didn't want it to escalate beyond "girlfriend and boyfriend."

[whoowhoo]

i don't want to be in a relationship with someone who i don't want to marry. and he should think the same thing about me.

so we were talking about marriage in the beginning of our relationship and we're still talking it has been nearly 3 years. unfortunately we still have to wait

[bobman]

If I say that someday I'm going to give you $1000, would you believe me until I actually put the cash in your hand ?

Originally Posted by k374

why do they want an actual proposal and be engaged to believe it?

[barkomatic]

I think before you even start dating someone you have to think about whether you ever want to get married to someone or not. Then, after a few months of dating you should bring up the subject and find out if your expectations match. Otherwise, you're wasting each others time.

I agree with other posters who point out that many couples in the past stayed together because of social stigma and financial pressures. (Although the flip side of that is those pressures often forced people to work out problems a little harder then couples these days who tend to give up too easily.)

For those who want marriage, I really think its a mistake to get engaged in less than a year. For the majority of relationships, I think its a sign of either desperation or immaturity. For those who say that life is too short to wait, I'd remind them that indeed it is--one can waste an awful lot of time in divorce court by rushing in to things.