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Went on Date #5 with Girl A last night. Went well, basically decided not to spend money and just cuddled on her couch, watched a movie, talked, made out, and drank wine (not in that order).
Couple things popped up that bothered me.
1. She slipped about something someone "we ran into" (meaning me and her) last night, which we didn't go out last night, she was at a friends bday party. She's had like 3 friend's have bdays in the last 4 weeks. Odd. Probably means she's seeing another dude, but this actually isn't a flag for me, she's allowed to date others, and I have a date line up with Girl B this weekend.
2. We're sitting there talking and she says out of nowhere "you are such a sweetheart, why are you so nice to me?" I really didn't know how to respond, I haven't really done ANYTHING THAT NICE. I took her out on dates which we went dutch on almost all of them. I don't compliment her very often, and I don't shower her with gifts. Not sure what this means. I say "sounds like you've had some douch-bag bf's in the past, that's too bad" and then I changed the subject. Awkward.
3. About an hour later, still cuddling, she says out of nowhere "I'm afraid of getting hurt". Long pause....I say semi-nonseriously "we're all afraid of getting hurt -Girl A-...." She then says, yeah, I'm just afraid of being hurt or hurting someone else..." I changed the subject again. Didn't know what to say to this.
My take: 2 major red flags.
I know she's probably dating other guy(s), but that's ok, the being hurt statement tells me she's torn between me and another guy and is hinting that I may be the odd man out.
Also, the being nice to her comment is one I've heard before from other girls, and I know it's not a good one. To me it means she doesn't know how to handle being treated with respect and what a classy guy is like, aka baggage.
I personally do not want to deal with this if these are the cases. I'd almost prefer to walk away from this, or at least put her in a situation where she has to reach to get me. She said she has friends coming to town (again) this weekend but I should call her around sunday afternoon. I'm thinking no; I will call her Tuesday, just make small talk for a while, and instead of asking her out again I'll just say "hey gotta run, catch ya later". I've initiated every date to this point, I say time to make her take a step.
What do you guys think?
Last edited by cdubs3201; 08-27-2009 at 10:43 AM..
Reason: clarify #3
It's best not to get involved with someone who seems psychologically damaged (or pretends to be, to garner sympathy). I personally always found that very annoying. To each his own, of course.
I personally do not want to deal with this if these are the cases. I'd almost prefer to walk away from this, or at least put her in a situation where she has to reach to get me. She said she has friends coming to town (again) this weekend but I should call her around sunday afternoon. I'm thinking no; I will call her Tuesday, just make small talk for a while, and instead of asking her out again I'll just say "hey gotta run, catch ya later". I've initiated every date to this point, I say time to make her take a step.
Why do you need our opinions on this...it already sounds like you know what you need to do. If you're not feeling it with her anymore, time to move on.
Why do you need our opinions on this...it already sounds like you know what you need to do. If you're not feeling it with her anymore, time to move on.
I assume he's looking for validation from other people. Plus he might get another perspective on the situation from someone else. Nothing wrong with that
I assume he's looking for validation from other people. Plus he might get another perspective on the situation from someone else. Nothing wrong with that
I also went out with a couple girls who said things along the line of why are you so nice...but I had taken them out to decent dinners and the theater. They were from smaller communities and probably had not had that kind of date before. I responded that I thought they were attractive and it was an attempt to get to know them better.
Went on Date #5 with Girl A last night. Went well, basically decided not to spend money and just cuddled on her couch, watched a movie, talked, made out, and drank wine (not in that order).
Couple things popped up that bothered me.
1. She slipped about something someone "we ran into" (meaning me and her) last night, which we didn't go out last night, she was at a friends bday party. She's had like 3 friend's have bdays in the last 4 weeks. Odd. Probably means she's seeing another dude, but this actually isn't a flag for me, she's allowed to date others, and I have a date line up with Girl B this weekend.
2. We're sitting there talking and she says out of nowhere "you are such a sweetheart, why are you so nice to me?" I really didn't know how to respond, I haven't really done ANYTHING THAT NICE. I took her out on dates which we went dutch on almost all of them. I don't compliment her very often, and I don't shower her with gifts. Not sure what this means. I say "sounds like you've had some douch-bag bf's in the past, that's too bad" and then I changed the subject. Awkward.
3. About an hour later, still cuddling, she says out of nowhere "I'm afraid of getting hurt". Long pause....I say semi-nonseriously "we're all afraid of getting hurt -Girl A-...." She then says, yeah, I'm just afraid of being hurt or hurting someone else..." I changed the subject again. Didn't know what to say to this.
My take: 2 major red flags.
I know she's probably dating other guy(s), but that's ok, the being hurt statement tells me she's torn between me and another guy and is hinting that I may be the odd man out.
Also, the being nice to her comment is one I've heard before, and I know it's not a good one. To me it means she doesn't know how to handle being treated with respect and what a classy guy is like, aka baggage.
I personally do not want to deal with this if these are the cases. I'd almost prefer to walk away from this, or at least put her in a situation where she has to reach to get me. She said she has friends coming to town (again) this weekend but I should call her around sunday afternoon. I'm thinking no; I will call her Tuesday, just make small talk for a while, and instead of asking her out again I'll just say "hey gotta run, catch ya later". I've initiated every date to this point, I say time to make her take a step.
What do you guys think?
What is there to walk away from? She doesn't sound that into you...you don't sound that into her. You aren't really "dating"......sounds more like FWB.
Sounds like a scag. I would run, unless you are into that sort of thing.
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