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There's no shortage of people on this board who defend cheaters. What really makes me laugh are the people who say that it's not black and white, that there's a lot of gray. Sorry. But some things are black and white and cheating is one of them. And the whole "my partner was ignoring my needs" argument is incredibly vague. If you want sex 4 times a week, but your partner only wants it twice a month, does that justify cheating? If your partner is just lousy in bed, does that justify it? Or if your partner refuses to do something in bed that you like, does that make it OK to cheat? The bottom line is that if you're not happy with your partner and you can't fix it, then end the relationship.
It's so easy for the single who have never been married and/or never had kids to judge others. When you live in a black and white world, everything is black and white from your ivory tower.
Being ignored is no excuse for cheating. If the wife isn't satisfying the husband, he should say so and if things still don't change, he should end things, not go looking for fun on the side.
Your post reminds me of what Rush Limbaugh said about Elizabeth Edwards. Something to the effect of "if she stopped talking and used her mouth for something else, John wouldn't have cheated." It continually amazes me how people find a way to not only rationalize cheating, but find a way to blame the victim.
no no you are right it is black and white it is adultery. what i am looking for is someone in the crowd some proud righteous citizen dressed in the smeared filthy garments of gross cruel selfish loveless neglect to step forward and cast the 1st stone.
It's so easy for the single who have never been married and/or never had kids to judge others. When you live in a black and white world, everything is black and white from your ivory tower.
I was waiting for this. I knew it wouldn't be long before someone chimed and said "you don't know what it's like cause you've never been married." Sorry, but there are some things you don't need to be or have been married to understand. That would be like a father who beats his son telling me that because I don't have kids, I don't know know what it's like for him. Us folks living on the outside aren't living in an ivory tower. We just have morals, something that the people who cheat lack. In all the threads on this subject, I have yet to hear one good reason for why cheating is forgivable. When all other defenses fail, the defender usually resorts to the defense you just gave.
I was waiting for this. I knew it wouldn't be long before someone chimed and said "you don't know what it's like cause you've never been married." Sorry, but there are some things you don't need to be or have been married to understand. That would be like a father who beats his son telling me that because I don't have kids, I don't know know what it's like for him. Us folks living on the outside aren't living in an ivory tower. We just have morals, something that the people who cheat lack. In all the threads on this subject, I have yet to hear one good reason for why cheating is forgivable. When all other defenses fail, the defender usually resorts to the defense you just gave.
DennyCrane,
Why do you even care about this stuff? What is it to you?
It's so easy for the single who have never been married and/or never had kids to judge others. When you live in a black and white world, everything is black and white from your ivory tower.
Actually it's more of a pick and choose what you want to judge around here. According to the holier than thou, people who have never committed a wrong in their life, things are only black and white for the issues that "THEY" find appalling, everything else is gray.
Last edited by MonaLisaVito; 08-26-2009 at 09:31 PM..
Reason: SPELLING ARGH!
It's so easy for the single who have never been married and/or never had kids to judge others. When you live in a black and white world, everything is black and white from your ivory tower.
I actually agree with Denny here. Cheating is cheating. Either you do it or you don't. On the other hand, it is very human to make mistakes. If you do it once and never again, does that make it any more forgivable? I don't know.
Responsible to who? The single person isn't the one who took a vow and it's, entirely, possible they have a different view of marriage.
I have a friend who believes in open marriages. To her, sleeping with a married man isn't wrong. To her husband, her doing so isn't wrong. It's only wrong if your spouse doesn't approve. The single person has no spouse and no obligation to abide by someone elses rules. If the married person is willing, he's sending the message it's ok.
uh well i was just talking about what is the norm. most people dont want their SO to sleep with another person. if a couple allows each other to sleep with someone else, of course thats different. they both agreed to it.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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Denny is absolutely correct..and will get a rep..Cheating IS a black and white issue....
Cheating is #3 on my top five most deplorable sins..right behind MURDER and MOLESTATION..and NO one should be attempting to rationalize the motive behind the behavior..People make the CHOICE to cheat..no one forces someone with a bf/gf/spouse to engage in behavior which is malicious and always planned out..
Most "cheaters" ive known willingly and intentionally went out and looked for opportunities to cheat.. for what ever lame reason(s) they would attempt to conjure up..It is the lowlife behavior of a Un-evolved, person who is weak and lacks both the moral compass and a sack of jewels..
Those who stand back and allow/accept such behavior are just about as bad as the actual person themselves..Why??..because they lack the where with all to stand up and put such a low life in their place..and make a clear statement that such behavior is completely unacceptable..no matter how long you have been best buds..
Think about if you were the one being cheated on..and everyone you knew just stood back..fully aware of what was happening.. Day to day you associate with these people..you laugh with them..share a meal with them..Trust them.. yet no one brought to your attention what was going on behing your back..that is grounds for a nose bleed as far as i am concerned..
I agree that people do..and/or have made mistakes.. im no different..difference is that when you make one..most people learn from it and do not repeat it again..not make excuses everytime it is time to "man up/woman up" and express your feelings concerning your challenges within a specific relationship situation...only a P*&^^ can't tell it like it is..even if you have to part ways...due to a situation which cannot be fully resolved..Id rather express my dissatisfaction with my gf's lack of sex drive and break off the relationship with her, if it came down to it, than cheat on her..and come home acting like everything is honky dory..with a potential extra gift..to give her..the one who doesn't deserve it..
Ive already made it clear that if i suspect it..a film crew will be watching..I WILL embarass someone..and expose to the world the reject they really are..
Yes, the person who knows they are involved with someone who is married is equally to blame. They are a good for nothing cheater and sinner. They should be ashamed.
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