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Again, let's throw the shoe to the WOMAN: if she's been w/ her MAN for only 3 months, she got laid off, and she asks him for temporary financial support, would you expect him to say no? The original "person" that says she should be courted doesn't think so. She thinks that as a woman, she doesn't have to help out her BF of 3 months, but if she needs help from her BF of 3 months, you bet your arse she expects him to help out.
Hypocrisy, anyone?
But I would never ask a boyfriend of only 3 months to help me out financially. Heck, I wouldn't ask any boyfriend or fiance for financial help. I know how to solve my own financial and housing problems. I wasn't raised to be a sponge wife.
That paragraph, IIRC, had nothing to do with feminism.
My mother took care of me when I was a kid, tho I got my first job at 13 yrs old. My parents divorced and my dad could not afford child support and my mother didn't ask for it. They are good friends to this day and he chose to retire in the same community as her since he considers her to be his family. Before her, my grandmother came to this country at 17 yrs old during or just prior to WWII. She did marry, but worked all her life (at Bell atlantic making telephones) and bought her home with her own money. Now, she was not able to purchase her home without her husband's signature, which she forged, given the sexist laws back in the day, but there was no man taking care of anyone. So, we're going back to the early 1900's in my family and the women have always been the providers/head of household. Keep in mind that I'm speaking of real life as opposed to what you may see on an old TV show.
Ah, so the "nuclear family" was already ruined when you were growing up. I didn't know how old you might have been. There was a time when men were actually responsible for their families though, and when women put their homes as a priority over working.
But...you come from a long line of man-haters, eh?
Ah, so the "nuclear family" was already ruined when you were growing up. I didn't know how old you might have been. There was a time when men were actually responsible for their families though, and when women put their homes as a priority over working.
I'm in the my late 30's. Whatever my situation growing up, I did not have the opportunity to cultivate an entitlement attitude. I learned to be grateful for what I did have and make the best of it; and that's exactly what I did.
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But...you come from a long line of man-haters, eh?
That's an idiotic statement. So, according to you, women that are capable of thriving without the help of men are man haters? My mom still cares for my dad, in very real practical ways, because she's a man hater? I have an awesome husband and one of my best friends is a guy (he was my man of honor at my wedding) because I'm a man hater? Don't confuse your trashy worldview with my reality.
We're not going to agree with everything - it's okay.
Well, pointing to a red ball and calling it a kite is going to raise questions (however poor analogy that is). I'm not seeing it. Please, show me the aspects of feminism you see in those that aspire to dependence.
But I would never ask a boyfriend of only 3 months to help me out financially. Heck, I wouldn't ask any boyfriend or fiance for financial help. I know how to solve my own financial and housing problems. I wasn't raised to be a sponge wife.
You must need glasses, because reading between your lines, I can tell that you need prescription on how to spot what you call "sponge wife". Again, good for you for trying to be independent. But again, some women here think that they should be financially catered because they're hot stuff. If you expect your BF (however long you've been with him) to support you when you need help, expect to return the same favor. If you don't want to help each other out in ANY relationship, then expect to live by yourself, all alone.
I'm in the my late 30's. Whatever my situation growing up, I did not have the opportunity to cultivate an entitlement attitude. I learned to be grateful for what I did have and make the best of it; and that's exactly what I did.
That's an idiotic statement. So, according to you, women that are capable of thriving without the help of men are man haters? My mom still cares for my dad, in very real practical ways, because she's a man hater? I have an awesome husband and one of my best friends is a guy (he was my man of honor at my wedding) because I'm a man hater? Don't confuse your trashy worldview with my reality.
Hi Braunwyn,
I think the problem is you have a bit of bellicosity. You appeared to seek out conflict withTK when you decided to falsify the accurate statement that men have been supporting women for centuries with a 21st century anecdote. That you have not been supported by a man does not change the fact and for many people their psyches and historical reference points have not caught up to this reality which in many cases still exists. Also, indeed women tend to benefit from Ricardo's formula of comparitive advantage. Men do still tend to dominate fields that create materials and it is though trade that women benefit.
Hi Braunwyn,
I think the problem is you have a bit of bellicosity.
Sure, and don't forget that I'm a man hater for not agreeing with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Oh, no. My mother and grandmother are man haters for...what was that again? Working or something.
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You appeared to seek out conflict withTK when you decided to falsify the accurate statement that men have been supporting women for centuries with a 21st century anecdote.
What does history have to do with what is happening with the participants in this thread that would lend to monetary obligation? Spell it out if you can. Or is the purpose of posting to just read/hear yourselves talk? I also don't buy into the beaver/cleaver bologna that women haven't been working. My grandmother was an average Jane. She and millions of other women worked. Women have always worked.
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That you have not been supported by a man does not change the fact and for many people their psyches and historical reference points have not caught up to this reality which in many cases still exists. Also, indeed women tend to benefit from Ricardo's formula of comparitive advantage. Men do still tend to dominate fields that create materials and it is though trade that women benefit.
Again, what does this ^^^ have to do with anything relevant today? Both men and women benefit from the work done by men and women. And what does that have to do with you or TK?
You must need glasses, because reading between your lines, I can tell that you need prescription on how to spot what you call "sponge wife". Again, good for you for trying to be independent. But again, some women here think that they should be financially catered because they're hot stuff. If you expect your BF (however long you've been with him) to support you when you need help, expect to return the same favor. If you don't want to help each other out in ANY relationship, then expect to live by yourself, all alone.
Well after dating a man for only three months, it's way too soon to know if it's a true love match and will lead to marriage. I would never get engaged before the three year mark anyway. So if within the first three years, a man that I was dating turned out to be incapable of supporting himself, I certainly would not agree to marry him. If the only way he could live a decent life is by winning the lottery, he's not the kind of person that I want to spend my life with as his spouse. Even if he does win the lottery, let another woman have him. Money isn't everything, but being a functioning and productive human being is to me. As far as I have observed in this life, there is no such thing as bad luck in terms of employment or housing, just bad life decisions, not using commonsense and logic or perhaps having no ambition or drive. Floating passively through life just doesn't work.
I also don't want any deadbeat friends. So if a man isn't good enough to be a close real friend to me, then I certainly don't want him for a boyfriend or husband.
Well after dating a man for only three months, it's way too soon to know if it's a true love match and will lead to marriage. I would never get engaged before the three year mark anyway. So if within the first three years, a man that I was dating turned out to be incapable of supporting himself, I certainly would not agree to marry him. If the only way he could live a decent life is by winning the lottery, he's not the kind of person that I want to spend my life with as his spouse. Even if he does win the lottery, let another woman have him. Money isn't everything, but being a functioning and productive human being is to me. As far as I have observed in this life, there is no such thing as bad luck in terms of employment or housing, just bad life decisions, not using commonsense and logic or perhaps having no ambition or drive. Floating passively through life just doesn't work.
I also don't want any deadbeat friends. So if a man isn't good enough to be a close real friend to me, then I certainly don't want him for a boyfriend or husband.
Wow, my apologies, I didn't know that you haven't lived outside your current state of residence. I reckon that you step outside of your state, go to, say, NV, CA, CO, TX, OK, any state outside of yours, and you'll see that your statement (that I bolded above) is false.
There IS such thing as bad luck in employment and/ or housing. People who have been loyal employees of ONE company for 30+ years are now laid off and are now competing w/ "youngbucks" who are more "agile" and more willing to get paid ONE THIRD of what these experienced people were paid before -- would you then tell them that they made a bad decision for being loyal employees?
I see mothers of 3 or 4 children whose husbands then left them for younger/ prettier women (and they had no idea about the affairs whatsoever), leaving these mothers with the house bills and the children to take care of, and then they find themselves unable to pay for all the bills (just some, but not all). So now they are being forced to foreclose their houses and live in apartments thx to their husbands abandoning them and their kids. Then would you blame these mothers for having their husbands leave them?
I suggest you take yourself out of the "I'm-better-than-anyone" image that you've been building for yourself, and realize that bad things DO happen to good people -- but that doesn't mean that these people (who happen to receive bad things) are bad and horrible to begin with.
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