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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123
the problem with money and love never come from the fact their is a lack of money, it comes predominantly from the fact one isn't able to care for themselves and is dependent on others to live without it.
Money = freedom in our society.
I guess, for me it is about self esteem. The few times I've been out of work for a period of time I hated it. It made me depressed. I didn't have purpose and felt like a loser.
I guess, for me it is about self esteem. The few times I've been out of work for a period of time I hated it. It made me depressed. I didn't have purpose and felt like a loser.
But it's nice to do nice things for a lady is it not? And more often than not they cost $$$
My post above was my own feeling on the matter.
Of course it is, I take my lady out (yes I am dating someone now). While I'm not rich, I'm not broke either. It's ok to not want to date a man because he's unemployed. But women shouldn't talk down on these men because that's not cool.
I just got off the phone with one guy I met online. He is 44 and told me that the economy has hit him terribly, so he just moved back in with his parents. Now he is thinking of going back to school to get a degree in nursing or counseling. He asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee. I told him, "I don't really feel a connection but I wish you luck."
I mean, seriously. What woman is going to want to date a man after hearing that hard luck story?
I feel bad for him, but why would I want to date a man his age who is living at home?
Well I've went on dates with women who were broke and didn't have a job in the past. So did you turn down the coffee and not feel a connection because you felt you would have to pay for his coffee?
I think you should have gone for coffee with him. Doesn't mean you're serious or obligated to see him again. It was the first time meeting up with the person so that would have been way before "dating" is even in the vocabulary. At this point you'd just be meeting up with the guy for a coffee. No big deal. Well I'm a social type of person so it wouldn't have mattered to me either way about just meeting up to talk over a cup of coffee with a person who doesn't have a job and is broke. I could do that with a woman in that situation just as well as with a guy. And in the past I have done this. I met a guy who lost his job and was living for free at a church, in exchange for light maintenance and yard work. He doesn't have a car, family lives out of the area. I met up with him and I treated him to a Sbux and lunch and then dropped him back off at the church where he stays. Nice guy and I run into him every so often while he's off busy looking for work or on his way to/from an odd job. No big deal.
But it's nice to do nice things for a lady is it not? And more often than not they cost $$$
My post above was my own feeling on the matter.
I agree. I mean if you are broke like the question says, I'm pretty sure most guys would be putting their resources into finding another job before dating. I don't think it should disqualify anyone but let's be real, whether you are meeting people for friendship or dating, the first question that people ask is, "What do you do?" The looks you get and the way you are treated if and when you say I'm unemployed...like it or not, people judge you.
I agree. I mean if you are broke like the question says, I'm pretty sure most guys would be putting their resources into finding another job before dating. I don't think it should disqualify anyone but let's be real, whether you are meeting people for friendship or dating, the first question that people ask is, "What do you do?" The looks you get and the way you are treated if and when you say I'm unemployed...like it or not, people judge you.
Yeah that's very true
I think it might have just been my self esteem or pride more than anything, as I work in construction obviously i couldn't work with a broken ankle so...... LOL I know in my instance the ladies wouldn't hold it against me.
But yes I do agree if your actually out of work or unemployed there is a stigma attached to it. I've got a mate that doesn't really work as such and doesn't have the same " hindrance " I have and styles it out when meeting women.... " oh I don't need to " or " I'm having a little break from work " etc .
118 pages. Really? If I started a thread about the 12 different kinds of women that you meet online who have no business being there... ... what good does it do to debate it? My biggest turn-off on OLD is a woman who goes on at length about the kind of guy who should not under any circumstances contact her. I will not give such women the time of day, even if I am not the kind of guy she is excluding. If the only way you can give worth to yourself is to pull down on those less well off, well it says more about you than them. I've always wondered why a billionaire like Oprah couldn't find an intelligent boy toy and have a lot of fun. What good is being a billionaire if the multi-millionaire men that make you interested don't reciprocate your interest? Women need to lighten up. My ex-wife was couch surfing and recently unemployed when I met her. No one thought anything about us getting together. She was clearly intelligent and middle class in her presentation. Guys even cross educational and social strata and enter relationships with women that are from different socio-economic classes. Sometimes it raises eyebrows sometimes it doesn't, but it doesn't seem to set guys teeth on edge if they get hit on by someone in whom they have no interest the way it seems to really light an angry fire in some women when they are approached by guys that they have no interest in.
regarding the bolded part, AMEN BROTHER
There is nothing more annoying that seeing off the bat the kind of person they do not want to contact them.
It just shines that the person has an entitled, quarrelsome, brutish type of attitude.
Why in the world would I have any interest in contacting that type of personality?
I just got off the phone with one guy I met online. He is 44 and told me that the economy has hit him terribly, so he just moved back in with his parents. Now he is thinking of going back to school to get a degree in nursing or counseling. He asked me if I wanted to meet for coffee. I told him, "I don't really feel a connection but I wish you luck."
I mean, seriously. What woman is going to want to date a man after hearing that hard luck story?
I feel bad for him, but why would I want to date a man his age who is living at home?
You should have one Starbucks date with him
and place him firmly , but with
Dignity into the friends zone.
When a man dates a woman there's
potential for a physical intimate
relationship which can bring about
a offspring which an unemployed
man can not support financially...
From the initial post by the OP, sounds like the guy has a plan to better himself and his life by going back to school. Sometimes having someone in one's life to love is a very positive and powerful motivator. Actually I wish the guy luck and when he gets his school done and becomes successful in the field that interests him, he finds a really good woman to be with.
You should have one Starbucks date with him
and place him firmly , but with
Dignity into the friends zone.
When a man dates a woman there's
potential for a physical intimate
relationship which can bring about
a offspring which an unemployed
man can not support financially...
This is the "illness" that brought a generation of entitled and stupid women who demand the society to keep bending the laws and socialization rules in order to fund their choices.
All that you said can be said even more for any woman. Why on earth would anyone absolve a woman from responsibility to support her own offspring that only she has a say on whether it's going to born or not?
Aside from that, the story about men who should apparently not date "until they can support a woman and accommodate a family and make sure to have proper housing" ... is utterly wrong, stupid and yes - those guys who take this route will be the most bitter, most agitated and more revolted guys of all, once they start seeking for a woman.
Women whom they'll meet will strictly evaluate them for the things they accomplished on their own. They'll evaluate them as mere assets and will generally go with the view of a father as an ATM and an optional lover/entertainer. How good is that?
The women that such guy will meet are even more likely to be the same women who had no-strings sex, had casual boyfriends and summer flames, they spent their life doing casual work and used that money to go and travel around the world, buy some clothes and try to put themselves as "available" in order to find a guy who's going to have a big wallet.
Guys with big wallet who are interested in such woman will rather RENT such woman, not bring her to their home and take legal obligation while legally giving her right to claim half or more of their hard-earned or inherited property. This is exactly why unemployed guys who know how dating goes will NOT be shy from trying to hit on women, have sex, move on, etc. They know that women whom they date are not saving themselves for marriage and these women aren't really having children because they want family life - it's more that they are afraid of death and they rather have a child or two in order to have peace of mind that they'll "cheat the inevitable".
This is reality of dating and relationships in America for way too many people, it's so easy to see through it. It's about consumerism that reached such level where humans are seen as "consumable goods", assets to be used and discarded when convenient.
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