i learned he has alot of jealous ex's --- how will this affect us as a couple? (boyfriend, women)
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So I recently came into some information about my bf's ex's. We've been together for a while now and he is still getting comfortable with me, (6-7 months) I asked him why none of his past relationships never worked out. His response was that they were all jealous. He's an outgoing guy but nothing to be jealous over!
Leading into my question: How is this going to affect our relationship? I do not consider either of us to be insecure, or jealous for that matter but I'm curious; is he thinking that one day I'm going to flip the coin and become someone of his past? Also, what about the L word, how will this impact that? (Neither of us have said it, I'm waiting on him)
I would be skeptical because he put all the blame on his exes and their jealousy. But if you say that his behavior is nothing to be jealous over, then there's no need to be insecure or jealous in your relationship. Just keep doing what you're doing (I'm assuming he hasn't accused you of jealousy). However, if he does and his accusation is completely unreasonable then I would reconsider.
Since he is still in the stage of getting comfortable with you, I don't think he will say the L word in the near future. When you two become a very serious, committed couple then you'll probably hear it.
He's never accused me of it & has no reason to. He's a great person & I feel honored to be his chosen one. I'm just worried that he did place the blame on all of them, maybe that is something we should talk about more one day.
LOL at the flags... thats why I figured I needed some internet advice hahaha!
OMG, No way is this him! My ex husband was like that and I'm pretty good at spotting it. I am going to talk to him a bit more to get some more details about what exactly happened with each one. He's not trying to make me feel bad for him bobman lol. I simply was asking a quick question as to see why his past relationships didn't work out. A quick answer was all I was after, but it did raise a red flag when he bunched them all into the jealousy category. Projection is a common thing when it comes to jealousy so maybe he is really the jealous one...
Thank you for the article though, it is very common to see emotion abusers in relationship and its very tricky. Just like the lady in the article - I caught my ex husband posting on a very sexually explicit site. It was always, oh feel bad for me, blah blah blah.
So I recently came into some information about my bf's ex's. We've been together for a while now and he is still getting comfortable with me, (6-7 months) I asked him why none of his past relationships never worked out. His response was that they were all jealous. He's an outgoing guy but nothing to be jealous over!
Leading into my question: How is this going to affect our relationship? I do not consider either of us to be insecure, or jealous for that matter but I'm curious; is he thinking that one day I'm going to flip the coin and become someone of his past? Also, what about the L word, how will this impact that? (Neither of us have said it, I'm waiting on him)
Outwardly jealous ex's ARE going to impact your relationship..especially if they are ongoing and relentless . I dont know if your B/F has much control over that, but if he does, he needs to understand the potential danger in this occuring and do whatever he can within his power to de-fuse the situation with them...in the name of harmony and protection for your relationship with him . You may also want to consider that your B/F is encouraging contact with his ex's and thereby adding fuel to the proverbial fire -- that is for you to discern. Finally, if your B/F has an exceedingly amount of ex's ... I would be on-guard as it might be HIM that has the problem(s) and theres a good chance you might be added to the 'Trophy list of Ex's ' if/when he tires of the thrill and conquest vis-a-vis yourself. Id say at this point, you should proceed with caution with your B/F until you get a much better handle on the situation at hand ...he may be the real-Deal or he just may be the typical sexual hedonist game player that our culture cranks out and endorses --- if its the latter, then it would behoove you avoiding the 'L' word since that wouldnt really be what the relationship is truly about. Therefore, dont skip even one of your daily birth control pills is my best advice.
So I recently came into some information about my bf's ex's. We've been together for a while now and he is still getting comfortable with me, (6-7 months) I asked him why none of his past relationships never worked out. His response was that they were all jealous. He's an outgoing guy but nothing to be jealous over!
Leading into my question: How is this going to affect our relationship? I do not consider either of us to be insecure, or jealous for that matter but I'm curious; is he thinking that one day I'm going to flip the coin and become someone of his past? Also, what about the L word, how will this impact that? (Neither of us have said it, I'm waiting on him)
You can never know. Just because things didn't work out between him and the ex's doesn't mean that they won't work out for you (if you are a different person from his ex's).
But then, people usually gravitate towards the same kinds of people. So if he gravitated towards you, you probably are similar to his ex's and the same fate awaits you. Or did he tell you that you are very different?
He might be the one who never falls deeply in love and is easily distracted by new women. That wouldn't spell happiness for you either.
If all of his exes were truly jealous, you have to consider the common denominator among them. One we know for sure is: your boyfriend. Is there another? I doubt it. Your relationship will most likely end badly, and the time will come that he's telling the next gal about how jealous YOU were... Even if you aren't.
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