Why can't she make a decision? Or is it something more? (date, movies)
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So friends of me and my girl want to do this cornfield maze (I know the joke, please don't! LOL). Actually, the girl wants to do it; the guy's like NOPE! but he told her he'd go if I went. Now I told her when I heard about it that it didn't sound appealing (too many cornfield horror movies; you know how the black guy always ends up in those), and when she told my girlfriend, and my girlfriend talked to me, I gave her the same thing, BUT I said I'd check it out (website, pics, etc) and let her know. Now, I remember exactly the first thing my girl said as we talked about it- that she wanted to do it. Her words. By the end of the conversation she said she would rather do dinner and a movie, but let her know what I thought.
Me- although I don't want to be in 'Children of the Corn part 2', I don't think it would be that bad of an experience. I know that most of the times when something foreign is presented to me, I tend to think the worse, but I end up going or participating, and enjoying it. I never said no, I just expressed some reservation. So after thinking about it, I'm more inclined to go. And the other girl wants to go- my girlfriend told me that she talked to the girl and that she didn't want to go since it looks like both us guys don't want to, but last night I saw the girl and she really really wants to go. So, if she's in, her guy's in if I'm in, and my girlfriend is giving me the 'whatever' speech, I'm the x factor between this happening and it not. Like I said initially I'm not crazy about it but it's something to consider.
I'm convinced either she doesn't want to go, and never really wanted to go, and is playing diplomat, or she's again being indecisive. This is the same thing that happened when we talked about having kids. She claims she's undecided and I did at one point, but when I said I didn't want kids, all of a sudden she gives me some sad/disappointed vibe.
This is going to drive me batty- Should I just say I don't want to go or is it that she can't make a decent decision so just let this ride? Right now I'm more inclined to do the maze, since nothing is being said otherwise. If I say no, then while we'll have to do plan B, which is dinner and a movie (Predictable and BORING, I really don't want to do it. )
So friends of me and my girl want to do this cornfield maze (I know the joke, please don't! LOL). Actually, the girl wants to do it; the guy's like NOPE! but he told her he'd go if I went. Now I told her when I heard about it that it didn't sound appealing (too many cornfield horror movies; you know how the black guy always ends up in those), and when she told my girlfriend, and my girlfriend talked to me, I gave her the same thing, BUT I said I'd check it out (website, pics, etc) and let her know. Now, I remember exactly the first thing my girl said as we talked about it- that she wanted to do it. Her words. By the end of the conversation she said she would rather do dinner and a movie, but let her know what I thought.
Me- although I don't want to be in 'Children of the Corn part 2', I don't think it would be that bad of an experience. I know that most of the times when something foreign is presented to me, I tend to think the worse, but I end up going or participating, and enjoying it. I never said no, I just expressed some reservation. So after thinking about it, I'm more inclined to go. And the other girl wants to go- my girlfriend told me that she talked to the girl and that she didn't want to go since it looks like both us guys don't want to, but last night I saw the girl and she really really wants to go. So, if she's in, her guy's in if I'm in, and my girlfriend is giving me the 'whatever' speech, I'm the x factor between this happening and it not. Like I said initially I'm not crazy about it but it's something to consider.
I'm convinced either she doesn't want to go, and never really wanted to go, and is playing diplomat, or she's again being indecisive. This is the same thing that happened when we talked about having kids. She claims she's undecided and I did at one point, but when I said I didn't want kids, all of a sudden she gives me some sad/disappointed vibe.
This is going to drive me batty- Should I just say I don't want to go or is it that she can't make a decent decision so just let this ride? Right now I'm more inclined to do the maze, since nothing is being said otherwise. If I say no, then while we'll have to do plan B, which is dinner and a movie (Predictable and BORING, I really don't want to do it. )
What do you think?
Off the top of my head, I think you two need to take a basic course in Communication 101 before you consider going any further with this relationship and I don't even know what a cornfield maze is!
I would say "Baby, let's do this, why not" and then go into it with an open mind and enjoy your time out together. At best you just took the high road and showed her you aren't selfish and you're a good sport, at worst you end up a human scarecrow with your intestines scattered around the cornfield. Seriously, make like you really want to give it a go, and afterwards you guys can always salvage the night with some drinks and some laughs.
I would say "Baby, let's do this, why not" and then go into it with an open mind and enjoy your time out together. At best you just took the high road and showed her you aren't selfish and you're a good sport, at worst you end up a human scarecrow with your intestines scattered around the cornfield. Seriously, make like you really want to give it a go, and afterwards you guys can always salvage the night with some drinks and some laughs.
That's the thing...I'm at that point, but now she sounds like she really doesn't want to do it.
I think she was banking on me not feeling it as her 'out'; now that my feelings have changed she's not too pleased.
I know in the past my initial feelings have almost prevented me from enjoying something, or having some awesome times. I think I might have to let her know that my initial thoughts is not an answer or even a good indication. It wasn't like I sat on this for days, my feelings changed within 24 hours. I told her I'd think about it, so it's not like I said "no" and then came back to say "yes".
I'm also trying to be considerate of all parties involved. I would think it would be selfish if I declined and the whole thing fell apart.
Does she sound like she doesn't want to go because she's anticipating how you are going to feel or do you think she genuinely does not want to go? Even still, if the other couple is really into it, it might be worth checking out. It's two or three hours, if it isn't all that great, like I said you can salvage the night with a few cocktails and laugh about it afterwards. Be sure and sit around and make them watch "Signs", "The Shining" and "Children of the Corn" the night before. Make a movie night out of it and then you guys will have something to crack jokes about at the maze or spook one another out.
Does she sound like she doesn't want to go because she's anticipating how you are going to feel or do you think she genuinely does not want to go? Even still, if the other couple is really into it, it might be worth checking out. It's two or three hours, if it isn't all that great, like I said you can salvage the night with a few cocktails and laugh about it afterwards. Be sure and sit around and make them watch "Signs", "The Shining" and "Children of the Corn" the night before. Make a movie night out of it and then you guys will have something to crack jokes about at the maze or spook one another out.
That could be it man..never thought of it that way. She has done that before. Thought that I wouldn't like something that she planned and worried the whole time that I wouldn't like it.
Well we'll talk tonight, and hopefully I'll find out exactly what it is.
Whatever I do I make it fun so I'm not too worried about if it's a bust. We will make it fun! LOL
We did a corn maze last weekend with our kids. It was fun, but not date fun. It was kid fun. Does that even make sense?
So, if it helps make up your mind, it would just be okay with another couple. If you did it at night, it would be more fun. If you did one of the ones, at night, where people jump out at you, it could be really scary and fun if you are into that.
So, now to the real point...You really need to learn how to communicate with this girl. Start with simple questions. "Do you, or do you not want to go?" Try offering up "I am not sure what I want to do." Find out what her true opinion is and not want she thinks you want to hear. Geez, life is too short. You guys need to stop trying to please each other and be open and honest. Enough with the games.
I would just tell her that you decided you want to go. Now, she can either join you and the other couple, or stay at home with a good book. (shrugs)
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