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well last night i was lying in bed alone, i couldnt get comfortable to sleep and my mind started to drift and i remembered that my cousin that i have not spoken to in years is going to be 20 soon. Then i began remembering what i did on the night that he was born....i was like six years old and my uncle took our family and his family to a restaurant to celebrate. In the restaurant I was sitting next to a girl the same age as me from my uncles side of the family- i remember our conversation vividly and we spoke about almost all of the major films at the cinema at the time (Moonwalker, The Dream Master, Bambi) for what seemed like an eternity.
Over the next three years we saw eachother every now and then at family get togethers. We always seemed to have the same interests and we seemed to be able to talk to eachother for hours. We got along really well but we didnt actually mention it to eachother.
Anyways i lost contact with this girl when i was about 10 years old but i always wanted to know how she was doing. I was curious to see what she looked like now so i searched my cousins faceboook profile and i found her profile from there. I felt somewhat sad to see her now as a woman, but at the same time excited. Now i feel tempted to sign up to the facebook website so that maybe i can try to contact her again and if things go well maybe i can take her out to dinner one night and we could catch up. However there are some reasons why i shouldnt contact her. Firstly my parents and i had a major falling out with my cousins family and i do not want to speak to them again and if i sent her a message she might go back to them and tell them. Plus, if my parents found out that i contacted her they would be like ''why are you doing this?'' I dont think they would understand.
There is also a whole level of slyness that i would probably feel because i am going behind peoples backs to try to reconnect with someone. So im not sure what to do, i really want to see this girl in person again if that is at all possible- she is one of the only girls that i remember where i dont automatically think ''failure'' when i think of her, but there are also some reasons why i should not attempt to contact her.
I would appreciate any views and opinions.
If it's important to you, not sure why you'd base your actions on how your parents would react.
I've made it known to my own I like the wife of my uncle, I still of course like the old aunt, mother of my cousin, but the former opinion isn't exactly popular. I could give a sheeet. I didn't do it to be obstinate, just to contradict, or to be the rebel, it's just how I felt about it. Uncle's happy, she's not perfect, but I think she's undervalued to an extent. Just a do, or say what you feel is right thing, nothing more.
i say go for it! you wont know what you might miss! she is not part of the falling out your family had. life is too short to hold grudges that long anyway...
It's totally up to you. It could be right or it could be inapprorpriate based on your specific circumstances. Did either of you have anything to do with the split? How well did you know her and do you think she would mind?
well, she did not have anything to do with the split, actually she probably does not even know that i have lost contact with them- maybe i can say something to her to not tell them that i sent her a message, im not sure that i cant trust her not to though. She is a cousin of my cousin, she is related to my cousins dads side of the family and i am related to my cousins moms side of the family. Im still undecided what to do but im thinking that if im going to send her a message that i need to do it soon because who knows how long she will have a facebook profile.
The problem is also that its on facebook....and as im sure everyone knows you cannot contact someone on there unless you are added to their profile- and seeing that my cousin is on her profile, he is going to notice me on there straight away.
Im thinking maybe its not a good idea because i do not want to cross that line. There are other minor things that i have also considered like- what if she does not remember me- but i will not know unless i try.
If you are an adult and you want a relationship with your cousin, then do it. But yes, you should be prepared for her family to get involved. You can tell her if you would rather not deal with her family, but don't be surprised if she decides she doesn't want contact with you under those circumstances.
If you are an adult and you want a relationship with your cousin, then do it. But yes, you should be prepared for her family to get involved. You can tell her if you would rather not deal with her family, but don't be surprised if she decides she doesn't want contact with you under those circumstances.
lol sorry what do you mean? This girl is not my cousin- i am not at all related to her. I guess from her perspective it would be the right thing to do to not want contact with me. Sorry to be a pest to people on here, i just want to take into consideration other peoples views before i come to a decision and possibly embarass myself. What if i send her a message and she ignores me and she still gets back to my family about it- that would be very embarassing.
I personally would not contact some girl (I initially thought she was your cousin but turns out she isn't) that I knew at 6 years old. Listen to your family. 1st grade is for 1st graders.
I'd say if you were to go with it, don't keep it a secret. Sure, your parents might not like it; but they would dislike it even more if they found out later on about it, in other words you kept it a secret. You never know what can happen unless you try. If you two really fell in love and, who knows, got married, it would be a really sweet story of how you met at such a long age. It's up to you, but if I were in your shoes I'd be filling out that facebook app. (even though MySpace is better). Good luck, and please keep us informed. -mmccul
I see nothing wrong with popping in to say,"hey....long time, no see!"
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). Good luck, and please keep us informed. -mmccul
