Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Things are not as black and white if you have had a long and good marriage and particularly not if children are involved as well. In fact, nothing is ever that black and white.
If by definition cheating is black and white then so is my answer...all other emotions/feelings would be put aside so that clear thinking can prevail. And no, I would not stay with someone for the kid's sake. Believe me though, I would tell her before we got married my stance on cheating.
Only time I buy that as an excuse is in this scenario : You are married and misserable for a long time, you go out to drink yourself out of pain, and when you're smashed an interesting stranger comes along. Out of a mix of misery, need for comfort and being drunk you give in and have sex with the other person. This is the only case where I wouldn't think it's either black or white.
Otherwise it's a very lame excuse. It's just something you wanted to do anyway, but you had nothing to blame it on, so that your conscience wouldn't bite you in the ass.
Ok, maybe I have watched too much Jerry Springer in my day but I can't believe that people STILL use this excuse!
I have always said alcohol is "liquid courage". It makes some people say or do things they "thought about or wanted to do" but would not under normal circumstances.
Would you buy this? Could you forgive and move on with that person if they did something like cheated or said something awful to you under the influence of alcohol?
Cheating would be an automatic relationship ender for me. Liquor is a lame excuse.
Sorry had to post that... If a gal I was seeing slept with a guy because she was so smashed, then I question her self-control. I drink on occasion and of course I feel more frisky and onery but I know my limits and what is right or wrong. I may hit on a girl or two at a party or bar but never would I take advantage of her.
I've always told my SO I will never, ever cheat on him. There won't be that moment where "it just happened." There won't be that moment where I and another are laughing and we suddenly look at each other and hungrily embrace. There won't be that moment where I let the guy kiss me and then pull away and say, "I can't!" (All those "romantic" movie scenes.)
And, like cpg said, I think, if drinking is involved, that's just a reason to be more vigilant. I've just flat-out decided that that is not going to happen.
If things are so bad that I really decide to be with another person, I will end it first with SO. But that's not happening anytime soon.
Everyone knows how painful it is to have someone betray you. It's amazing how many people will go ahead and do it to someone else. Should I start a thread on that?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
and that's the end of IT!
