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For the record we have try to go over and beyond to be good to him. If he didn't threaten to kill us we would have give him the gun - honestly we weren't trying to hurt him. Also, when grandma's estate was settled he wasn't on the list to get the money from; yet all 4 of us divided up our parts to give him his 1/5 of the share like we got. Last summer we even met with him and then air shipped his hunting dog to him from Kentucky to Alaska at our own expense.
From what you described, I feel really sorry for him. He needs help and guidance.
Why are some people like this when no one else in the family is? Is it a mental disorder or just people being evil??
My family considers me to be the black sheep, and thinks that everyone else in the family is loving, kind, and god-fearing decent people.
The fact of the matter is, I'm the only one in my family who managed to extricate herself from the life of oppressive religious cult horror that the rest of them are stuck in. They're brainwashed enough to think it's the right way to live. So they may consider me the black sheep, but guess what...I'm the only one that's a normal human being.
My family considers me to be the black sheep, and thinks that everyone else in the family is loving, kind, and god-fearing decent people.
The fact of the matter is, I'm the only one in my family who managed to extricate herself from the life of oppressive religious cult horror that the rest of them are stuck in. They're brainwashed enough to think it's the right way to live. So they may consider me the black sheep, but guess what...I'm the only one that's a normal human being.
So perhaps it's all a matter of perspective.
yup, i couldn't agree with you more
i am considered the "black sheep" of the family, because I walked away from the violence, rage, and alcohol addiction prevalent in the family I grew up in. I got into counseling and 12-step work, I refused to participate in the unhealthy sick abusive behavior. I learned healthy ways of doing relationship and raising my children. I set healthy boundaries. I live a peaceful life. For that I am considered the "black sheep" and they consider themselves "normal," still stuck in the rage, the blame, the bitterness, the insanity, the secrecy, the denial, the dishonesty.
look at who's doing the "name calling" and what their own history is
Its transference, They never see themselves for what they are, an admission means you have to change. I was far to accepting for to long, as a result I picked partners just as sick. I'll stay in my black sheep role.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
yup, i couldn't agree with you more
i am considered the "black sheep" of the family, because I walked away from the violence, rage, and alcohol addiction prevalent in the family I grew up in. I got into counseling and 12-step work, I refused to participate in the unhealthy sick abusive behavior. I learned healthy ways of doing relationship and raising my children. I set healthy boundaries. I live a peaceful life. For that I am considered the "black sheep" and they consider themselves "normal," still stuck in the rage, the blame, the bitterness, the insanity, the secrecy, the denial, the dishonesty.
look at who's doing the "name calling" and what their own history is
my husband considers himself the black sheep--he doesn't care what the neighbors think (they do), hates football and golf (they love it), plays in a band even though he doesn't always get money for it (gasp! why would you do anything and not get paid)--and would rather have a lower paying job and be happier than a higher paying job and be unhappy.
It's an easy answer. The families aren't really that "good". It's a facade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by censusdata
How do you all explain a family where everyone is generally good, honest, and easy to deal with except for one person?
I ask this question because I have an older brother who is an absolute pain in the rear and is not just annoying but dangerous. One minor thing can set him into a long lasting rage. He remembers anything anyone ever - and I mean ever - did to slight him.
An example: I went to visit him when I was 15 (he was 35 - 20 yrs older). He took me hunting and I didn't get any breakfast. I later joked in front of guest that he tried to starve me. He simmered over that for a month and then called me on Christmas and told me he was going to hunt me down and beat my head in.
Currently he is enraged at everyone because we reconnected with his son (who he gave up for adoption and never visited) on the internet recently and didn't tell him first (for some reason ). He's also outraged that we mailed his son presents and didn't put his (my brother's) name on them - despite the fact we bought them and mailed them to his son while he was spending all his money on drugs and his live in girlfriends. He's now got steam coming out of his ears because my sister sold a rifle she got from the estate. Our brother says it was his and he wanted to give it to his son. He is threatening to take us to court or "take matters into his own hands"
While our mom was sick (she died of cancer) and later died he never once even lifted a finger to help care for her or clean out her house later after she died. If it wasn't for us that gun would have ended up in the trash because brother didn't show up ONCE to help.
Why are some people like this when no one else in the family is? Is it a mental disorder or just people being evil??
Its transference, They never see themselves for what they are, an admission means you have to change. I was far to accepting for to long, as a result I picked partners just as sick. I'll stay in my black sheep role.
So, your saying they know theres something wrong, lets take
borderline personality for example, but would rather keep it the family secret.
So, why wouldn't someone with a condition seek help?
I welcome anything your willing to share or explain.
They know they are crazy. They know it feels good to act crazy. They know how bad it makes other people feel. It is all fine and dandy for the BPD or crazy person. Get it now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode
So, your saying they know theres something wrong, lets take
borderline personality for example, but would rather keep it the family secret.
So, why wouldn't someone with a condition seek help?
I welcome anything your willing to share or explain.
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). He's also outraged that we mailed his son presents and didn't put his (my brother's) name on them - despite the fact we bought them and mailed them to his son while he was spending all his money on drugs and his live in girlfriends. He's now got steam coming out of his ears because my sister sold a rifle she got from the estate. Our brother says it was his and he wanted to give it to his son. He is threatening to take us to court or "take matters into his own hands" 
