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You are right, I suppose it's frustrating for everyone to take the time to advise and then hear that I did my own thing anyways. I really don't want to let go becasue it was so good perfect even in the beginning. I tried to get even more time, typical immature reaction, man pulling away and woman clinging more , and he actually said I need space. Is this always the kiss of death? I will probably start another thread to ask that specific question. I want what I had, what we had in the beginning. I tried to back off yesterday, was even going to just stay at my house but I couldn't tell him that. He'd call at his usual times and I kept saying call me back or Ill call you in an hour. He said no need to call, you have a key, Ill see you when you get here. So I just went. By morning I was weak and clingy again, but not too bad. Im thinking the logical thing is to back off but he always says the best way to get things back to normal is to act normal which means going over there. The way I give space when Im there is I read, do my own thing and go to bed early. He stays up later to have his time and before that he watches a movie or tv with me. Please keep the feedback coming. thank-you
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Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
I think that its sad, that someone will come on here, and ask for advice, time and again, but not really LISTEN.
I guess the individual is just not ready to hear the truth.
Venting is good to though....maybe that is your first step!
If this was a hospital TV show and your relationship was in the emergency room on the table, it would flat-lining while you continue to give it CPR. It's time to call time of death and move on.
You are right, I suppose it's frustrating for everyone to take the time to advise and then hear that I did my own thing anyways. I really don't want to let go becasue it was so good perfect even in the beginning. I tried to get even more time, typical immature reaction, man pulling away and woman clinging more , and he actually said I need space. Is this always the kiss of death? I will probably start another thread to ask that specific question. I want what I had, what we had in the beginning. I tried to back off yesterday, was even going to just stay at my house but I couldn't tell him that. He'd call at his usual times and I kept saying call me back or Ill call you in an hour. He said no need to call, you have a key, Ill see you when you get here. So I just went. By morning I was weak and clingy again, but not too bad. Im thinking the logical thing is to back off but he always says the best way to get things back to normal is to act normal which means going over there. The way I give space when Im there is I read, do my own thing and go to bed early. He stays up later to have his time and before that he watches a movie or tv with me. Please keep the feedback coming. thank-you
This is the problem with rebound relationships. You probably were needy coming out of a divorce but sometimes it's better to have no relationship at all and find yourself and heal.
I would let this relationship go. Once someone talks about "space" it means they're trying to let you down gently. At least he cares that much - but neither of you is ready for any real relationship at this time. You should look on the positive, you are able to attract someone, you are probably fun enough to be around, but this one isn't the right one, nor the right time.
Be careful because right out of a divorce can be a very vulnerable time -- men and women.
This is the problem with rebound relationships. You probably were needy coming out of a divorce but sometimes it's better to have no relationship at all and find yourself and heal.
I would let this relationship go. Once someone talks about "space" it means they're trying to let you down gently. At least he cares that much - but neither of you is ready for any real relationship at this time. You should look on the positive, you are able to attract someone, you are probably fun enough to be around, but this one isn't the right one, nor the right time.
Be careful because right out of a divorce can be a very vulnerable time -- men and women.
you know, I sometimes feel like I "get it" and like I can be strong and at the very least not be around so much, but he sends me so many mixed signals. We were intimate last night, his idea, and this morning when I left, he said "I love you" I know he says what I want to hear, but he told me the other night that he just didn't know what to do, didn't want to break up and make a mistake and didn't want to stay together and make a mistake. Someone please tranlate all this for me.
you know, I sometimes feel like I "get it" and like I can be strong and at the very least not be around so much, but he sends me so many mixed signals. We were intimate last night, his idea, and this morning when I left, he said "I love you" I know he says what I want to hear, but he told me the other night that he just didn't know what to do, didn't want to break up and make a mistake and didn't want to stay together and make a mistake. Someone please tranlate all this for me.
Translation - He's uncertain.
My take is that he doesn't know if you're the one. He like some things about you and he dislikes some things about you. The question is, will the things he likes overcome the things he doesn't. You need to separate for a period to let him determine if he's happier with or without you. If you don't and it's the latter, you'll both be unhappy down the road.
you know, I sometimes feel like I "get it" and like I can be strong and at the very least not be around so much, but he sends me so many mixed signals. We were intimate last night, his idea, and this morning when I left, he said "I love you" I know he says what I want to hear, but he told me the other night that he just didn't know what to do, didn't want to break up and make a mistake and didn't want to stay together and make a mistake. Someone please tranlate all this for me.
I'm sorry. It must be hard, wanting to know and yet not wanting to know. My translation is that he doesn't want to decide. He might not know what he wants, or he is afraid to acknowledge what he wants. He wants you to decide for him.
Sometimes people do this because they are passive-aggressive and want to blame whatever happens on you. If you break up with him and he's glad, then he is pleased that he let you go. If you break up with him and he's not glad, then you broke his heart and it's all your fault, which is what he will tell the woman after you.
Think about how he talks about his former girlfriends. Is this the one who has two "psycho" ex-girlfriends, who lived with him and bore his children? Narcissists always have psycho exes.
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