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Yankeegirl, they actually believe we are close but I just don't feel like that with them. Me and his mom do a bunch of things together all the time. I just need my space sometimes when I have things going on, but she wants to get cozy all the time. Maybe I'll try get her into some group of some sort, you know, some bible-reading group or something to occupy her time and get her off our backs.
How can they actually believe that you are close, when your behaviour on here is obviously just the opposite?
I understand about needing your space, etc. Again, thats when you let him go spend time with her.
Have you explained to your BF how you feel about all of this time with his Mom?
Maybe you two could decide on certain days of the week to visit Mom, or on the weekends or something. If he feels like he needs more, then let him go.
Tell him to let of the t*ts and quit breastfeeding already! ...did I say that?
Seriously, talk to him and let him know you would like to compromise on fewer visits. Perhaps he can go and take her to lunch or dinner vs. her coming to your place so often.
I am not bashing any man for being close with his mom (because I am a mom myself). It's just important to let him know while you may not share the same enthusiasm for seeing his mom as often as he does, you would like to have a more "alone" time with him.
Some people are just more "family oriented" than others. Some families live together, generations under one roof. Some people move away and avoid contact with their parents and extended families for their own reasons. It's best to have a SO who has the same ideas about family as you. If not, you must decide what is more important to you.
Some people are just more "family oriented" than others. Some families live together, generations under one roof. Some people move away and avoid contact with their parents and extended families for their own reasons. It's best to have a SO who has the same ideas about family as you. If not, you must decide what is more important to you.
Read her previous thread. This man doesn't just have a different idea of family, he has an inappropriate relationship with his mother at the expense of his girlfriend.
You are correct in saying this kind of attachment is not normal or healthy. But it’s not as rare as you might think. Unfortunately, some men are tethered to their mothers and don’t have enough room in their lives for a spouse to fit.
This often indicates an unhealthy dynamic between mother and son. Sometimes, mom sets up a situation where he must choose between the two women. Or she preys on his feelings of guilt, claiming he owes her, or is a bad son. This may work for him, especially if he is afraid of intimacy or the loss of his mother’s love.
. . .
Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: If your relationship is serious, you should be the main woman in your man’s life. If you are bothered that his mother holds that primary place, and if he insists on keeping the status quo, you are destined for unhappiness.
He is obviously getting something from time with his mom that he isnt getting with the OP. Companionship? Quality time? He feels that the OP is possessive? Conversation? Her kid is a brat? We have only heard her side of this story. Who knows? Maybe she is a real biatch and he can only find peace at his mothers. He wouldnt be the first guy to get out of the house just to find respite!
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...did I say that? 
