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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
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I had tried net dating, not to much success, but I am still grateful it's there. However, I think if more people are doing it, and cyberizing this aspect of their lives (as they have other aspects), it might be bad for traditional dating. I.e. meeting in social functions, through friends/family, at pubs, bars, clubs.etc.
Of course people STILL do that, but I think net dating is so easier to makes it too easier to avoid the real life dating scene altogether, especially for shy people, and in the future I see it having a big impact on dating.
Well, the thing about it is, I'm not going to meet someone who lives out of town anyhow. If they live more than, say, 25 miles away, I'm never going to meet the person. I can have decent conversations with people who live in Ohio or Washington state, but nothing is ever going to come out of it. I wouldn't even go as far as Tampa-St. Pete--at least, I don't think I would--so unless they wanted to come HERE and meet me HERE, nothing's going to come out of that either.
It's just a way to 1) break the ice and 2) get to know someone before making any sort of rash decision. I like having the chance to get to know someone over a period of time before we even consider dating as an option. So I don't know that it has much of an impact for me.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
Reputation: 11862
That's true, it's more of a way to meet and then start a 'real life' relationship. But I know many people (like me) who use it as a substitute for being a man and going out and just trying to strike something up. I and many guys are speak to have dismal luck on those sites. I mean you send out 100 nicely worded e-mails and perhaps get a couple of dates that end up going nowhere...doesn't help your self-esteem either.
Well, even in "real life", I let them approach me. I never make the approach.
I can take it or leave it, basically, and if they show an interest, then it's a good possibility I'll agree with it. It's the difference between having to apply for a job and being recruited. I'd rather be recruited.
Or, having an agent, perhaps. Would you pick an agent who hasn't shown any interest in you, or one that really likes what you're doing and who you are, and is going to work for you?
Online dating sites are nothing more than an additional OPTION for meeting people. That is ALL. No one "dates" over the internet. The goal is to simply find someone that you might enjoy and be compatible with, ONCE YOU MEET. And once you do meet, and decide to start dating, then the online piece becomes obsolete. It neither replaces or hinders any other method of meeting people - it's simply an additional OPTION.
Why is this so hard to understand for so many people?
I think net dating makes it easier to avoid the real life dating scene altogether, especially for shy people, and in the future I see it having a big impact on dating.
yes, there are people who spend so much time on the computer, that they avoid real-life human interactions
but as far as dating, whether a person dates others they meet on-line or in person, in the process of dating you still have to deal with the same issues: honesty, trust, getting to know each other, finding out if you want the same things out of life, how you spend your time together, what do you want out of a relationship
as far as shy people or people who avoid real life, there have always been those people, before the existence of computers, those people were probably absorbed in books, or games or other hobbies.
Online dating sites are an additional OPTION for meeting people. It neither replaces or hinders any other method of meeting people - it's simply an additional OPTION.
i agree with chessiemom here, people are people, the things we learn and the ways we grow in relationship with others stay the same whether we are using computers or meeting people other ways. we all have to overcome our fears, learn how to communicate, treat others with respect, and allow ourselves to enter the waters of intimacy and vulnerability
Online dating sites are nothing more than an additional OPTION for meeting people. That is ALL. No one "dates" over the internet. The goal is to simply find someone that you might enjoy and be compatible with, ONCE YOU MEET. And once you do meet, and decide to start dating, then the online piece becomes obsolete. It neither replaces or hinders any other method of meeting people - it's simply an additional OPTION.
Why is this so hard to understand for so many people?
Actually, if you live in different towns, the online portion might last for quite a while--unless one of you moves in with the other.
Shy people dont have real life, well one will go to the club and what will he/she do, just say hello I am your aunt, let's be friends, that would look stupid. The same is with disco or other public place. Dating online is just a wasting time and health.
ChessieMom said it perfectly. Online dating is just another way of meeting people. It doesn't come with any guarantees, but act like it does. Online dating is a great time saver though. Most of us lead busy lives between work and/or school, long commutes, kids, etc. You can go out and meet someone the old-fashioned way, hit it off, go on a few dates. Then you discover you're just not right for one another. Maybe he's Jewish and you're not. Maybe he wants kids and you don't. Maybe he's a Democrat and you're not. These may or may not be deal breakers for you, but if they are, wouldn't you rather know these things sooner rather than later? Online dating serves as a filter, which is why it can be a useful tool. But once you meet someone, the same rules apply that would if you met the person at church.
I don't see online dating being much of a threat to old-fashioned dating. People who embrace online dating will continue to use traditional methods as well. Just because you have a profile on match.com doesn't mean you'll suddenly stop socializing with someone you met at work or a friend's party.
TKramar, that's great if being passive gets you results. But I've rarely met anyone who got what they wanted by sitting back and waiting for it to come to them. You use the recruiter analogy and waiting for them to call you. In this job market, I doubt many people would have success that way. In dating, it's no fun to pursue someone and be rejected and it's incredibly flattering to have someone come after you. I'm not a socially aggressive person, but even I wouldn't sit around waiting for someone to show interest in me.
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