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Is marriage better for people after the age of 30, 35, or even 40? A lot of young people marry and divorce just like that. Why is that? I mean, the divorce rate is over 50% in America.
Why would you think that marriage is better for people after the age of 30?
Is marriage better for people after the age of 30, 35, or even 40? A lot of young people marry and divorce just like that. Why is that? I mean, the divorce rate is over 50% in America.
Why would you think that marriage is better for people after the age of 30?
Well certainly by those ages listed, one should be much more able (and willing) to identify wants and needs, and many longterm goals.
TIP & WARNING:
"Know Thyself."
~ Socrates ~
And...
"To Thine ownself be true."
~ Shakespeare's Hamlet ~
Last edited by picklejuice; 11-24-2009 at 04:54 PM..
Is marriage better for people after the age of 30, 35, or even 40? A lot of young people marry and divorce just like that. Why is that? I mean, the divorce rate is over 50% in America.
Why would you think that marriage is better for people after the age of 30?
In GENERAL people who wait to marry closer to 30 do have more successful marriages. This is because the brain, especially of males, does not stop developing until somewhere close to age 25. Up to that point people in general still lack some basics you need to make the best choices. A few years of growing into someone who knows who they really are and what they really want in life after the age of 25 is a valuable thing to have under your belt before marriage.
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Good point, in fact..a co worker and i had this discussion a few days back...
I can almost assure that if i had married in my 20's..especially earlier on, id probably be part of the statistic...Not because i would have cheated...we all know my stance on that subject..but, considering some of the women i was dating,, i pretty certain things would have not worked out at some point...
Now, im not saying that i might not have crossed paths with "the" girl i might still be happily married to...but, i for one, had stuff to work on, discover, come to know, and experience..about myself...
I firmly believe that the universe, god, karma...which ever you choose to call it...sets you on a path..and that there are always reminders guiding you toward where you are to arrive...and that, at least in my opinion; And that these forces have specific time lines for every big event in one's life..and for some, marriage comes after..not before or during the 7 year cycle of self discovery..which roughly correlates to ones 20's... The time when you are just entering Adulthood, and getting to know yourself.. The time when you want to explore the new world around you and test it's limits...
Towards the end of your 20's, you typically have come to know yourself fairly well..usually have grown up and out away from the Adolescent you were and have "gone around the world" a few times.. At this point, for many, this is when you really see the kind of person you desire to enter into a deeper relationship with..this kind of person often will reflect who you are..And are becoming
Within your 30's..you typically are beginning to settle into your career ambitions, and in general, are just on more level ground...then you may have been earlier on...this stability within one's life is when a marriage between two people is most likely to come, grow, and evolve..Unlike having to constantly change as id imaging it would if one was married younger...
Think about where you were when you were 20..are you the same person??..doing/into all of the same things??...most would say no..we change alot during this time..and many times are not the same exact person by the time we reach 30..we have evolved, shed, acquired, and learned..
Those who do marry this young..and make it are truly lucky..but this doesn't mean that the beautiful woman who is celebrating her 30th yet to be wed is doomed to be a spinster..her time is arriving (unless she has chosen to remain un married)..and, because she had her twenties to go..and GO...she shouldn't have many regrets about "missing out" the day her husband takes her hand...The time has come for both of them to experience, learn, and grow together...without regret
Marrying when one has gotten most of the ducks aligned is probably the smartest choice to be made..And if you are 27, 34,5, or 39...the universe knows when your number will come up...until then, continue exploring..and discovering you..
Is marriage better for people after the age of 30, 35, or even 40? A lot of young people marry and divorce just like that. Why is that? I mean, the divorce rate is over 50% in America.
Why would you think that marriage is better for people after the age of 30?
The divorce rate actually rose when people began to marry later in life. In the 50's people married younger and stayed married.
I think it all depends but I don't believe marriage is easier for people who wait until age 30, 35, or 40. Often it is harder because people tend to get set in their ways, and they start getting a lot of baggage although some older people are so tired of being single and dating, they finally marry and stay married. It can be more difficult to adapt and compromise when you've had your life your way and only your way and now have to adjust to someone else's ways.
Marrying younger can be better for some, they have all their first adult memories shared with each other. The field is more open, as people get older they start to meet fewer people who they could marry -- "the good ones are already taken".
Starting in their late 20's, things become increasingly difficult for men.
For the unmarried aged 30 to 40, there are 135 men for every 100 women.
Most of these men are never married guys (at age 35 - 31% of men are never married vs less than 19% of women) who often invested a lot in an education and career and had little time or money to get in a relationship. Despite this explanation, they are often suspect in the eyes of women for not being married or in a relationship already. Of course, if they were really good looking, they probably would have married a women while young, who put them through college and would now be divorced and considered a good catch.
Meanwhile, much lower proportion of the unmarried women in this age group are never married. Consider that a significant number of unmarried women now have children. Many others have various attributes that make them poor prospects or unattractive and this is often the reason they are not already married. Then there are those who refuse to settle for anyone other than a perfect man. Are 20 of the 100 left?
You can see why so many men just drop out of the running. You can also see why so many women self describe themselves as some sort of superb catch and then complain there are no men interested.
I think 30 is the ideal age range to get married. By that point in your life you've had a chance to perhaps go to college, start a career, date different people maybe even live with someone, travel etc. You've matured and have a better idea of what you want for the next remaining decades of your life. In your early 20's much of that is still a mystery or unexplored territory. There are often still growing pains that come with your 20's and many couples cannot or do not grow in sync with one another. I'm not saying it can't work, but in a perfect world I think 30 or so is an ideal age. You're old enough to have developed your priorities, and not too old to start a family.
I wish I could remember where I saw this but I just came across some statistics re: the success of marriages and age range. The stats showed ppl married before age 23 had a much higher rate of divorce. I know that if I'd married before 25, I'd definetly be divorced by now. I was a late bloomer, lol. Although I'm not thrilled at being single, I'm so glad I waited as I have no kids or ex-husband to deal with when I do get married.
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