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Love is like the taste of water. . it is unable to be described.
I see you placed a list of achievements [competitively] on how you love and have endured through things. . . you are not the first, certainly not the last with a story. It makes you no more grandiose or capable than any other person in this forum.
No apologies needed, gwynedd. . . based on the water theory, I've also heard it described as urine, too. It's all just H2O and based solely on the taste-tester.
So you lived together for 7 years before getting married, why didn't you marry sooner? Did it take 7 years to figure out you loved one another enough? Not everyone takes that path, they get married prior to all the tests, trials, and tribulations, and not every relationship can endure that, especially when marrying young and going through a lot of personal change and challenges on top of everything else. While there are plenty of shallow or selfish people out there who may not have a firm grasp on love (it's different for everyone), I wouldn't say that they are shallow because their spouse gains 400 pounds and they no longer find them attractive. I haven't seen anyone here who lost interest or fell out of love with their spouse because they got sick or experienced some personal tragedy. Most of the "conditions" you spoke of came from people who expressed dating preferences or deal breakers while in the early stages of dating.
I would also say that some people are smart enough to cut their losses and end a marriage that has clearly wore itself out without any hope or desire for salvaging the relationship. Regardless of the reasons, you need to be honest with yourself and your partner if you are no longer happy together.
You mentioned that your greatest joy in life is making your partner happy. To me that seems somewhat fairytale-ish, and perhaps lacking in self-esteem a little. Now if you said that your greatest joy in life is sharing special moments together in mutual happiness, that's a little easier to swallow.
I'm sorry it's hard to swallow. It's true. We didn't get married for a while because we were in college and then my husband was very ill and then my husband went back to school and we weren't able to afford a wedding until much later. We were committed to each other in our hearts during that time, for us the wedding was a formality and a celebration of our love with our closest friends and family. I just wondered if some of these people had ever been in love before because they seem shallow and shopping for perfection and love is so much different than that. I understand that there are legitimate reasons for break-ups and divorce.
i can see where she's coming from with this statement.
maybe it's just something that you need that particular type of relationship to fully understand.
or maybe it's something about the individual person.
i did those personality tests, and it said i was a "healer".
that makes sense, because sometimes there is no finer feeling than doing something for someone you love.
it could be the most simple gesture from bringing her a cup of tea, to something overblown and full on romantic.
maybe it's the kind of thing which draws people toward nursing as a
career ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
You mentioned that your greatest joy in life is making your partner happy. To me that seems somewhat fairytale-ish, and perhaps lacking in self-esteem a little. Now if you said that your greatest joy in life is sharing special moments together in mutual happiness, that's a little easier to swallow.
I'm sorry it's hard to swallow. It's true. We didn't get married for a while because we were in college and then my husband was very ill and then my husband went back to school and we weren't able to afford a wedding until much later. We were committed to each other in our hearts during that time, for us the wedding was a formality and a celebration of our love with our closest friends and family. I just wondered if some of these people had ever been in love before because they seem shallow and shopping for perfection and love is so much different than that. I understand that there are legitimate reasons for break-ups and divorce.
No - *sigh*- you are the only person on CD. You're our hero.
Thank you for signing up, we were quite lost. We needed someone to emulate.
I don't think its something to emulate. Either you've been in love or you haven't. Its not some lofty moral ideal. Although I do think that some people on here wouldn't know love if it bit them in the ass because they are too selfish.
I don't think its something to emulate. Either you've been in love or you haven't. Its not some lofty moral ideal. Although I do think that some people on here wouldn't know love if it bit them in the ass because they are too selfish.
You have a very self-centered outlook in the way that you see others w/o knowing their/our stories in such a short time. I've been here longer than you have and I do not see people here like that. Then again, I have seen their situations more in depth. To wag your finger in righteousness is pretty disgusting.
You don't think there are some selfish people on here?
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