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How often does this happen to people in relationships? Where one changes and the other doesnt? I have thought about this in terms of friendships and even long time marriages. It does make relationships more fractious. Severe health problems or even unwanted "changes" can get in the way too.
Last edited by WheredoIlive?; 12-06-2009 at 10:48 AM..
It is natural for people to change as they Mature. We just don't all make the same changes. Which is just one reason it is hard to stay with the same person for very long. The odds are against them changing together.
How often does this happen to people in relationships? Where one changes and the other doesnt? I have thought about this in terms of friendships and even long time marriages. It does make relationships more fractious. Severe health problems or even unwanted "changes" can get in the way too.
Everyone has different life experiences, therefore, everyone changes as time goes on. It's what makes us unique, but at the same time, it's also what draws us closer to one another.
I believe that, if the relationship isn't solid, then it happens most of the time. At the same time though, I believe that if the relationship was built on mutual trust, understanding, and dedication to one another, then it happens rarely.
It just depends on how true to one another the two people are, either as friends or as romantic partners.
How often does this happen to people in relationships? Where one changes and the other doesnt? I have thought about this in terms of friendships and even long time marriages. It does make relationships more fractious. Severe health problems or even unwanted "changes" can get in the way too.
Most people change over time. It's unrealistic to expect the person you marry at 25 to be the same person at age 45 or even 35. Maybe that's why so many marriages end, because people think the person they're marrying will always be the same. They'll take a vow to grow old together, but what happens if you or your spouse turns into something you don't recognize? And I don't mean physically. This is one reason I think people should wait til their 30s before getting married. A person undergoes far more change in their 20s than they do at later stages of life.
It's common for people to grow apart both in friendships and marriages. In marriage or a relationship in general, you get into a habit of being comfortable and sometimes that can cause problems. One spouse will want something more, but the other spouse will not because they think the way things are now is fine. As people grow and mature there values change. Maybe because they want more out of life, out of there friends, or spouse. Its just part of the human evolution.
It is natural for people to change as they Mature. We just don't all make the same changes. Which is just one reason it is hard to stay with the same person for very long. The odds are against them changing together.
Most people change over time. It's unrealistic to expect the person you marry at 25 to be the same person at age 45 or even 35. Maybe that's why so many marriages end, because people think the person they're marrying will always be the same. They'll take a vow to grow old together, but what happens if you or your spouse turns into something you don't recognize? And I don't mean physically. This is one reason I think people should wait til their 30s before getting married. A person undergoes far more change in their 20s than they do at later stages of life.
I do agree this is a major danger of young marriages, where the person changes immensly as they grow in their 20s.
Last edited by WheredoIlive?; 12-07-2009 at 11:38 AM..
Yeah. Unless you live in a place where life is the same generation after generation or there is little chance of your changing because of your exposure to the rest of the world, education, etc...your 20s is a tumultuous maelstrom of growth and change. Very few people can and will be the same...I think late twenties/early 30s is really the best time for most people to go lookin' for marriage.
Everyone has different life experiences, therefore, everyone changes as time goes on. It's what makes us unique, but at the same time, it's also what draws us closer to one another.
I believe that, if the relationship isn't solid, then it happens most of the time. At the same time though, I believe that if the relationship was built on mutual trust, understanding, and dedication to one another, then it happens rarely.
It just depends on how true to one another the two people are, either as friends or as romantic partners.
I agree.
Everyone does change, or some do stagnate for a time.
Sometimes a relatioonship can be happy for years, and something throws it off kilter.
Sometimes a "move" can destroy a relationship even.
There are some who will stick with chances, but you are right mutual trust and understanding, dedication needs to be there.
When a couple is swimming in two different directions and wants such different things out of life, it doesnt bode well for the realtionship.
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