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I noticed a couple posts recently from people I know here talking about all the negative threads here.
Basically, if you are single etc. are you a little worried that all the marriage horror stories, tales of cheating, bad divorces, stalkers etc. are bad for you?
Aren't you worried that even subconciously you might start viewing people warily or negatively instead of with optimsim and caution?
I had a few dates like this during the Fall....gals that I politely never saw again as the date was dry as toast and they were obviously nervous or suspicious. It's good to know the bad things to look for but at what point are you becoming a toxic dater?
Well, I was a reporter earlier in life, so I had been exposed to a lot. But, I have to admit, I've read some things and seen some opinions that are so batsh*t crazy that I have to look at the human race in a completely different light.
I noticed a couple posts recently from people I know here talking about all the negative threads here.
Basically, if you are single etc. are you a little worried that all the marriage horror stories, tales of cheating, bad divorces, stalkers etc. are bad for you?
Aren't you worried that even subconciously you might start viewing people warily or negatively instead of with optimsim and caution?
I had a few dates like this during the Fall....gals that I politely never saw again as the date was dry as toast and they were obviously nervous or suspicious. It's good to know the bad things to look for but at what point are you becoming a toxic dater?
I think they would call that depression lol
Seriously, if somone is weak minded enough to allow words to bring them down then they have much bigger problems to deal with. It's all about outlook and viewpoint......how you choose to see the world as it is a choice and not something that is forced upon you.
Since a lot of the stories are much worse than anything I've ever encountered, sometimes I think I definitely should write off the institution of marriage and perhaps any serious relationship as well. Other times they make me think I could've done better with my marriages provided how much worse there is out there. Of course, that comes into play if we compare degrees of misery... All in all, though, I still think the choice between being married or single is more important than the choice of a partner. Frankly, there aren't too many marriages I can say I'd love to be mine.
Since a lot of the stories are much worse than anything I've ever encountered, sometimes I think I definitely should write off the institution of marriage and perhaps any serious relationship as well. Other times they make me think I could've done better with my marriages provided how much worse there is out there. Of course, that comes into play if we compare degrees of misery... All in all, though, I still think the choice between being married or single is more important than the choice of a partner. Frankly, there aren't too many marriages I can say I'd love to be mine.
Ah yes, "comparing degrees of misery" is a dangerous practice indeed. it's a good way to turn your situation worse as you will look at thing harder than you should and thus start justifying making a relationship worse instead of searching for ways to resolve issues. lol It's a marriage counselors worst nightmare.
I try not to let things I hear or read on this forum warp me. I don't bring any bad energy from a past relationship into a new one. when I am dating a new man, I treat it as a new, unique situation, I would hope he doesn't turn into a loser or weirdo. There's a guy I'm interested in now, we haven't gone out but always sit together at the sportsbar, I don't even know if he likes me but I gave him my number yesterday and we've been texting. so, we;ll see what happens.
but, I still have hope that I will find a great guy, who will be a partner in life, and hopefully not all that other BS from the negative threads.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
I noticed a couple posts recently from people I know here talking about all the negative threads here.
Basically, if you are single etc. are you a little worried that all the marriage horror stories, tales of cheating, bad divorces, stalkers etc. are bad for you?
Aren't you worried that even subconciously you might start viewing people warily or negatively instead of with optimsim and caution?
I had a few dates like this during the Fall....gals that I politely never saw again as the date was dry as toast and they were obviously nervous or suspicious. It's good to know the bad things to look for but at what point are you becoming a toxic dater?
Since a lot of the stories are much worse than anything I've ever encountered, sometimes I think I definitely should write off the institution of marriage and perhaps any serious relationship as well. Other times they make me think I could've done better with my marriages provided how much worse there is out there. Of course, that comes into play if we compare degrees of misery... All in all, though, I still think the choice between being married or single is more important than the choice of a partner. Frankly, there aren't too many marriages I can say I'd love to be mine.
James Watson - the codiscoverer of DNA - was profiled on a PBS program a few years ago. One thing he predicted was that it won't be too long before the genetic material that makes people attractive will be available to all. He was all for this development but many are dead set against it and this generated a heated debate. My belief is that those who are against it, would not like to see their inherited genetic advantage degraded.
Anyhow, I am of the belief that this is the only development that might save marriage. Looks are so important to success now days that all the more important things are ignored by not only potential spouses but employers, voters, potential acquaintences and in other important forums. Society is in serious decline in large part because of this. Virtue (really) is (only) its own reward, now days.
My experience is that most good looking people have few other virtues but everyone is so eager to overlook their faults.
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All in all, though, I still think the choice between being married or single is more important than the choice of a partner. Frankly, there aren't too many marriages I can say I'd love to be mine.
