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If you have a friend/family member going through personal trials that they want to remain private about, do you share these with your SO? Is it an automatic given to you that anything someone shares with you is also to be shared with your SO?
I don't approve of this, yet I have met people who have flat out told me that they "don't keep any secrets" and that is their basis for breaking a confidence.
It depends on what I'm being told. If I was asked to keep something strictly between me and the other person then no I wouldn't tell my SO. However, if its something that would perhaps cause a fight between my SO and I if I with-held info from him then I would tell him. I think when you are in a relationship, there aren't secrets. Sometimes its just not their business to know certain things that have no effect on your relationship, but are huge to a friend or family member. I think I explained this the way I'm thinking about it haha.
It really depends on the individual situation. I tend not to tell my boyfriend things that others have told me in confidence. And being a man, I don't think that my boyfriend wants to be kept up to date on anyone else's personal life. He's a very anti drama, anti soap opera type of person.
I usually have the person sign a disclaimer. No, but seriously just like mentioned before if the person wants to keep it between me and him/her so it will be.
It depends. I know my husband well enough to know what not to keep from him. I also trust him to keep a secret, so if you tell me something and I tell him, it goes no further. And vice versa--he tells me things. I don't tell him everything anybody tells me, though.
It depends. I know my husband well enough to know what not to keep from him. I also trust him to keep a secret, so if you tell me something and I tell him, it goes no further. And vice versa--he tells me things. I don't tell him everything anybody tells me, though.
Precisely. Same with me and my wife. In a good marriage you don't keep secrets. You also don't permit a divide and conquer element.
It depends. I know my husband well enough to know what not to keep from him. I also trust him to keep a secret, so if you tell me something and I tell him, it goes no further. And vice versa--he tells me things. I don't tell him everything anybody tells me, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon
Precisely. Same with me and my wife. In a good marriage you don't keep secrets. You also don't permit a divide and conquer element.
Asking a married/committed person to keep a confidence is not asking to "divide and conquer" or "keep secrets" from your SO. There is nothing close to resembling a request to betray your spouse or your marriage, unless what I tell you is an actual violation or threat to your relationship. This would then be an issue of how good a friend *I* am.
Regardless, if I wanted your SO to know about my deal, I'd ask to speak to the both of you. Otherwise, I'd have to find someone else to confide in. I respect your marriage, but it does not over-ride my right to privacy. And I don't see how my right to privacy would interfere with your marriage.
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