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I would just like to have some understanding or illumination on this subject. What is the difference between long-term separation and divorce? I worked with a woman who said she was married, but separated. I figured she had been separated for a year or less, and she said it had been 10 years.
Why would anyone do this?
What are the advantages, if any, to separation?
A legal separation is usually done to formalize certain things...custody arrangements, who pays what, how assets are split up, etc. Basically putting it down on paper versus a verbal agreement, which can be broken much easier and without much recourse.
Some people prolong it because they're not quite sure what they want to do yet, waiting for other things to play out...all kinds of reasons. The one I've heard most often with people who have been separated for more than a year is money - they just don't have enough cash to go forward.
Taking a break and being seperated are peoples way of not being able to let go. If a relationship gets to the point of needed to be seperated from your SO then its not worth putting anymore time into.
When the ex left me after 25 years she filed for legal separation. That kept her fully insured for medical, dental and prescription coverage as well as continuing her "share" in community property, to include my retirement accounts. Never being one to care for half-way measures, I immediately counter-filed for divorce. She's detested me ever since!
I've known and known of couples who have seperated for a couple years and then got back together and resumed their marriages and it worked for them. But not 10-11 years later.
Sometimes, during separation couples can work things out and give each other a break to analyze their problems.
I offered to try. She dismissed the offer out of hand. Seeyalaterbye!
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