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Originally Posted by Lisa_from_Debary
So what do you guys think?
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I believe in moral values, integrity and a God in heaven but let's leave that all behind us for the time being.
The world we live in have people confused as to what intimacy really is. I use the term intimacy and immediately most jump to a minds eye view of two people, in bed, having sex.
But jumping into bed is not intimacy any two idiots can do it. Not knocking sex you understand, I like it a lot, but all to often people become confused about what intimacy really is all about.
Apparently I am one of the few lucky ones in life because I married my sweetheart 35 years ago and oh are we intimate! She knows what I am thinking, it is a little harder for me to read her with me being a man and all, before I say a word. She knows what I will think of a situation before I hear about it.
A few weeks ago we were attending church when I took a good look at her. She's obviously older now, has some gray hair and her hands are just now starting to be gnarled with arthritis. As always she sensed I was looking at her and she asked why probably thinking she lost an earring or maybe the color of her blouse didn't match.
It was non of those things, I was looking at her marveling how lucky I was to have found someone that would tolerate me for all his time. We've had children that are all grown with families of their own, we've celebrated victories together as we have consoled each other in defeats life sometimes hands you. We're both getting older, down to our last 25% of life, and I am OK with this because we're traveling this journey together. No doubt we are with each other to the end whenever that will be.
For 35 years she's taken care of the house, cleaned, done my laundry, had my children, cooked my meals, taken care of me when I was sick and has really dedicated an entire lifetime to making me happy. I require 7 hours of sleep while she requires 9 but we've always gone to bed together at the same time. I love the feeling of the calf of her leg laying across mine just knowing she is there. She even puts up with me controlling the remote and my channel surfing habits.
Now to gross some out, sex still happens but not with the regularity it did when I was a young stud-a-muffin. Yep, I was a real man machine capable of getting it on two, three, four and even five times a day (let me pound my chest in a fearsome display of maleness) but those days are gone replaced with a greater understanding of what intimacy is.
Don't get me wrong, sex is still important it is one of the cements that hold a relationship together but sex should never be considered "the relationship" or even the largest part of the relationship. I have grown to understand if sex is the most important aspect of your relationship then the relationship is doomed to failure.
And sex to early lessens your chance at achieving real intimacy. Amazing to me a couple can have sex before discussing what church their children will attend if they attend one at all.
Having sex on the first date means you probably don't even know what her mothers maiden name was so how can having sex be considered as being intimate? It ain't being intimate it's just having sex.
About dating.
Dating is not a game to be played by children.
Dating is the ritual setting for you to select a mate you will have children by and, hopefully, spend the rest of your life with.
Dating should not continue once you have established the person you are dating isn't for you in a lifetime way. Time is the most precious thing you have and why would you want to waste it?
First kiss when you feel the relationship might go somewhere beyond the bedroom.
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