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You always settle, except you substitute a more pleasant word; compromise. It's just a matter of to what degree you settle........uh, I mean compromise.
There is absolutely NO reason to "settle". As adults, we should be able to enjoy our own company enough to never settle. Can you really imagine waking up every morning for 25 or 30+ years and looking into the face of a person you settled for? Who doesn't make your heart go pitty-pat? I sure can't.
It's one thing to be realistic about your prospects, but it's an entirely different thing to settle because you think a person is "the best you can do." That reasoning might make sense in the job market, especially today's. Maybe you settle and accept a lousy job telling yourself that the job is the best you can get with your education and experience. But a job is something you need. A relationship isn't. You can live without one if you have to. The trick is not to set your standards so high that they're unrealistic. I also think you can't be a hypocrite about it. For example, if you're incredibly overweight and/or unemployed, I don't think it's a good idea to go out there holding out for the person who's gorgeous and/or makes a ton of money.
I agree with you. It's important to be realistic in your expectations.
To me, and it may be unrealistic to some, there is no reason to settle.
I have to disagree. Such sentiments are commonly expressed and they're quite romantic in the abstract. But it's just not true.
The number of people willing to match up with convicted felons such as child abusers, extremely obese people, the old-but-still-horny-for-young-hotties, paraplegics and quadriplegics (just to name a few groups of people) outnumber these folks. Some people are just unf**kable. Yes, there are exceptions in every instance. But the fact is that the supply of some people far exceeds the demand. That's not romantic, but it's true.
a thought hit me, and I'm wondering what you all think of this also--
what do you consider "liabilities" which should influence whether or not a person "settles"?
note when I say "settles" I don't mean less-than-perfect or skipping celebrity-quality, I'm referring to "You're ____ (fill in the blank), so you should be happy with whatever you can get."
what would you fill in-- extremely unattractive, extreme obesity, a specific age- what would be "just cause" for settling?
Per the title of your thread, I don't think this is a new concept at all. You could read hundreds of threads on this forum about this subject and the various tangents....the ones about fat/overweight people, older man/younger woman (and vice versa), etc, etc, etc.
Do some people settle because they or someone else think they can't do any better? Sure.
it depends on your definition of settling. if you mean be realistic and don't make superficial stuff like a height requirement and has to appreciate fine wine, then yeah i agree with the case for settling. some things are deal breakers, i get that, but to live in this fairy tale dreamworld where you can find a person that's gonna be 100% of everything you're looking for is down right laughable.
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